Monday, February 06, 2006

raising the bar

It would seem the bar has been lifted a little higher again this weekend......... some of the lifting was done by Sir.. but some was done by me........

On Friday evening Cloud and His new slave k came over for a visit and a little play time..... and i have to admit...... am embarassed to admit...... i am jealous. slave k is everything one pictures as a good slave....... ok.. maybe not what everyone pictures.. but certainly when i close my eyes and picture a "perfect" slave .. it is slave k. she does everything she is told to do... from stripping naked to kneeling on a cold floor waiting for permission to enter. she keeps her voice low and her eyes down........ she never seems to be baited or trapped into bad behaviour.... she accepts willingly anything and everything that is done to her. ...she moves with grace... and holds herself proudly. And i keep asking myself why can't i be more like that??? Beside her i feel awkward and clumsy and disobedient and rebellious....... and it makes me sad. i want to be more like slave k....... i want to make my Sir so proud of His littleone. i wish i could find the off switch that controls my opinions and curiousity and my mouth........ oh god i wish i could find the off switch for my mouth!!
i have no "off switch" .. all i can do is work very hard to be the best submissive i can ....... with slave k as my model............

i talked a little bit about Sir's wrist action on Sunday and how He managed to get that ole snake whip to bite into my ass and make me jump. Well Sunday evening Sir allowed me to watch an Agatha Christie "Miss Marple" movie on the television. i should have known there would be some strings attached!!! At the first advertisement Sir reached for the snake whip and told me to lie on my stomach .. and for the entire 10 minutes of ads Sir practiced flicking His wrist and creating pretty welts and patterns across my ass and upper thighs.

The show came back on and i went back to watching..... Next ad.. roll on my stomach and Sir started His practicing all over again....... This went on for the full two hours of the movie !! my ass was so sore and so marked!! At one point i looked at Sir and He asked "do you wish a break ?" i came so close to saying "yes please Sir!!" but i didn't... my new improved goal was right before my eyes....... and so i said "no Sir i don't wish a break" and so He picked up the whip and went at it fast and furious until i was crying out and grabbing the pillow and literally biting it ..... the whip wrapped and caught the edge of my thigh....... and i yelped.. still it bite into the crack of my ass and i thought the pain would send me through the roof.. and still it continued.

At 10 minutes to 10 when the ad came on i looked at Sir and said "this will be the last time because this is the last ad" and He just smiled that smile Dom's get.......... and the whip cracked and bit and stung........ and then Sir picked up the tawse and finished off the evening with it.. using it with all the strength and force He had. And i turned my head a bit to watch.... and i was amazed at the strength He was using.......... and it didn't feel nearly as bad as it looked... and i realized that after the snake whip nothing could touch my inner being as much ever again............

1 comment:

  1. I can understand this. Like you, I too bought a whip as a gift, and live a complex sort of relationship with the intensity of the thing... For me the whip has been "away" for a long while, but I know that the day is coming, and soon when it will return with ferocity and likely never go away again. that simply chills me to the bone -- and fires me in my depths. Both. How to explain that dichotomy?



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