on feeling special......

Yesterday was my special day......... but truthfully in the past i have hated the 25th of October......... for many different reasons.......... and i had learned to build walls around me leading up to the 25th..... so i couldn't be hurt.. so my expectations wouldn't get too high.. so i could pretend it was just another day..........

BUT like all my walls... Sir wasn't going to allow them......... and like all my walls He just went about taking them down one brick - one stone at a time.. till i hardly noticed they had gone.....

Yesterday i did my very best to sabotage any attempts at making it my special day...... oh yeah... those walls were built tall and strong.... i organised a staff meeting for my morning.. i made a hair appointment for after work so i would be late home... i filled my calendar with lots of busy work.......... the day would pass and i would hardly notice it had been here......

Wrong again lil subbie !!!! Sir arrived at work just after 10:30 bearing flowers and Melissa Etheridge's new cd.. filling my office with flowers and music and smiles and love......... the rest of my day was spent receiving hugs and well wishes from all the staff who had seen the flowers arrive ........... like the Grinch my heart had started to grow.......

Even the hairdresser greeted me with hugs and best wishes.. and because my hair had finally grown i even got a super hair cut.. styled .. pretty.. making me feel special.... finally after months and months of bald spots and short stubby ugly hair i once again had my hair back..........i had a spring in my step when i left his shop.. and my heart had grown a bit more........

Arriving home Sir was waiting for me .......... no quick dinner by myself .. not on my special day.. OH NO !!! not with my Sir around........... a little rest.. feed the kitties and out the door in the wind and the rain for a drive to my favourite Irish pub Cunningham's for a special dinner... with my Sir ... all through dinner Sir had this devilish grin on His face.. when i had finished my dinner... a white box appeared in front of me... i gaped at it!!! BUT i had had my presents in the morning.... this dinner was another wonderful treat... this was just too much !!!! i gingerly opened the little white box.. and laying inside was the most beautiful pewter fairy .......... my heart exploded... the tears ran down my face.... my very own fairy !!! for ever and always............

Never before has this day been as special for me.. for me alone........ and these feelings aren't because of flowers and music filling my office.. or dinners.. or even fairies....... these feelings come from a man .. a simple man i call Sir taking time from His busy day to be there for me.. to fill my day with His essence.. making me feel special...... i am one very lucky subbie........