Monday, October 17, 2005

The Test

Sunday was a test....... i know it was a test.. it had to be a test ............

Sir took me downstairs to the play room... and put me up on the cross.. Sir had a plan.. He was going to send me off to the land of fairies and rainbows....... but before i went He told me .. TOLD me... when it was over He was going to leave me on the cross and go out shopping. So while He was using the buggy whip on my back, thighs and ass i kept thinking this is ok.... i can get off the cross.. i only have to unhook the hooks and poof i am off..........
When He changed to the long handled crop and continued His work on my back, my thighs, my ass, i was still feeling pretty confident of the outcome.
Then followed the floggers .. and the whip.... and honestly i do not remember what else...... i just remember hearing the call of the fairies and seeing the colours of the rainbow............

Then i felt a rope winding around my middle, peeking i saw a white rope (we have a white rope??!!) snaking around my waist .. round and round and round my waist and the cross bar of the cross...... feeling Sir's hands pulling it between my legs.. making sure it went up tight into my pussy......... round my neck....... around my breasts.. tied off. Nipple clamps attached to first one nipple then wound round the cross and fastened to the other nipple. If i moved my head up....... the ropes pulled tighter into my pussy... if i moved even slightly sideways the nipple clamps pulled on the nipples....... i couldn't move... there were no knots!!! Sir had made invisible knots!!! and He was gone !!!

The music played on ... my beloved Melissa finished and Enigma came on........ eery ... dirge like Engima...... and i was left facing the demons... the dark.. and the fears all alone.....

i have no idea how long Sir was gone.. 10 minutes?? 20?? an hour?? i only know i was left twisting in the wind....... howling darkness swirled around me... Sir came back.. took me down.. cuddled me.. held me.. laid with me on my little pillow when i couldn't move.. couldn't get up.. didn't want to get up.......

And then we went to the munch...... and there were people loads and loads of people all around.. noisy people.. and tremendous heat.... and i longed for the quiet of my pillow.. the safeness of being wrapped in Sir's arms....... not cast upon the crowds.. the multitudes... i felt small and lost.

Now today Monday i wonder what happened to me yesterday?? i am a grown woman.. i live 75% of my life alone in this house. i feel safe here.... there are NO demons allowed in this house !!! It is my santuary of calm and quiet. Yet .. yesterday.. hanging from the cross something happened to me.. i understood .. fully and completely understood that my life IS in Sir's hands.... i am His to do with as He wishes.........and He alone can bring me safely back.. anchor me securely ... and make my world bright...........

it was a test........ and i think i passed......

6 comments:

  1. And you passed the " test " although I never set out for it to be a " test " but rather to show you that I have your safety and best always in My heart and mind...

    Sir

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  2. Anonymous5:02 pm

    I like this post. I just... like it...:)
    I want a cross in MY basement!

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  3. thank you kaya for your comment.. Sunday's session was very difficult for me and on me... it was quite a learning experience.. i think if i didn't have to work .. i would like to stay in that place Sir took me to on Sunday....... i think..

    as for the cross.. i am a very lucky subbie.. Sir purchased it for me when one of our clubs closed down and had a "going out of business" sale........

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  4. Anonymous6:23 pm

    That's exactly why I am not working right now. If Master can swing it financially, the goal for the cunt in the cage, is to maintain that space.. that feeling.. It's scary, for sure.. and I want it and hate it and desire it and run from it all at the same time.

    Do you have a spooky basement? You mentioned demons.. wasnt sure if you meant personal demons or creepy-basement demons. Master is determined to make a play space in our basement(so hard to do with kids in the house).. though it's really the only place that could hold things like that.. but its soooo skeery down there! *shiver*

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  5. kaya;

    no i don't have a spooky basement.. actually quite the opposite.. i decorated the play room in an Asian style ..
    the demons were more a personal thing.... it was another slap upside the head of how Sir holds the control....... i am HIS ...
    to do with as He pleases.... a bit like the way you described the "cunt in the cage" scary wanting to run from it.. but desiring it at the same time..... shrug.. hard to explain....

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  6. I have read this post several times. You write wonderfully and really makes th words come to life.

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