internal struggles

i have never been one to have a fantasy view of this lifestyle - at least i don't think i ever have. i am pretty much grounded in reality. Oh that is not to say i don't have my fantasies, but Sir has helped me learn that most fantasies belong tucked away in one's imagination and have no place in reality.

Having said that though, i have been struggling internally i guess with my submission or lack of. i have been like a wild child, running free. i have craved a firm hand on my leash pulling it taut, bringing me back to the place i belong. i want to be claimed........ does that make any sense?? i have been so wild .. so free.. i feel as though i need claiming again....
i need to be on my knees head down waiting my Sir's pleasure.

A heading from a blog i read regularily (smiles at annissa) keeps going round and round in my head today.. "use me abuse me do anything you'd like" the "good" girl inside of me wants to scream NO.. beg NO.. but i want my Sir to use me and abuse me and do anything He would like .. and allow the "bad" girl .. the slut inside me out. And the very thought of it scares me and yet it also intriques me.

Internal struggles............