The lil one tested negative on Sunday night! YAY!! She was finally coming home after 3 weeks. The snow threw a bit of a monkey wrench into the works but Sir Steve went and picked her up and brought her home to us.
She and I spent over an hour just talking. I didn't have to coax - she just started talking and talked and talked. And the more she talked the more I felt my heart breaking.
It started with her telling me she was so scared when she got covid....... and she cried herself to sleep at night. No one checked on her or held her or reassured her.
She talked about Grandma being cranky and yelling a lot cause 'WE' said they couldn't go out. She said there was a lot of crying.
And when it came down to the birthday party for 'Big Nanny' the lil one lost her words.... I just sat quietly and let her sort it out........ (not wanting to put my emotions on her) Finally she said (and I am quoting her directly here) "it felt like my brain went out of my ears and didn't come back till late that night".
Know what I see in my mind's eye - a little vulnerable girl who found no comfort or support. I saw that a lot when I was teaching ...... and it broke my heart then...... trust me when I say my heart crumbled when I heard her stories of the last 3 weeks.
After I felt she had talked herself out - we went "shopping" for a new duvet for her new bedroom.......... and we snuggled and giggled and planned her new room. Then (because I have to live up to the reputation of the "wicked stepmother") I sent her off to her room to do some of the assignments her teacher put up for the kids to do from home due to the school closures for snow.
We had a lot of hugs and kisses and "I love you's" all day. She's gonna be ok ...... she's a strong lil girl.
Aww Morningstar, my heart goes out to the lil one. What the F is wrong with her mother and family!!
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Exactly Roz! what is wrong with the family??? WHO can ignore a child crying herself to sleep??? It boggles my mind!
DeletePoor girl. But she's a survivor. You have an awesome relationship with her, so she is very lucky.
ReplyDeleteMy mother once said "I love you" to me at the end of a phone call. I was gobsmacked, as she'd never said it before. I just said, "Um, yeah" and hung up. The only time I ever said it to her was the last time I visited her, hours before she died. I don't know if she heard me.
Hugs,
Hermione
I'm sorry Hermione about your mom and your relationship with her. I know my family was pretty much the same. I remember saying to someone I spent my whole life working hard hoping to hear my father tell me he was proud of me and it never happened...shrug... maybe it was the generation they were from?
DeleteKids never cease to amaze me with their strength, courage, etc. My heart breaks for your lil one. On the plus side, she has you to show her how it should be.
ReplyDeleteHere, we say I love you frequently. I never want my "lil one" not knowing. Hugs and cuddles are also important.
Like you and Hermoine, my mom and I were....not close. Lord knows I lied through my teeth the last time I spoke to her and told her everything she needed to hear. I never heard anything remotely postive from her. I often say that just because you had a child doesn't make you a mom. It only proves you are physically capable of giving birth.
Thank God lil one has you Morningstar. And all the kids you taught had a "mom" to see what the world can be.
Hugs
boo
you know - it's one of the reasons I got into teaching - was to show kids adults can be fun and loving and supportive..... it was the reason I landed up spending my whole career working with the neediest of needy kids.
Delete“Wicked Stepmother”. Did you have to audition for the role? :)
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
LOL nah - I'm a natural
DeleteI love how she sees you as her rock. Kids only talk when they are comfortable and feel at home with someone. I love your "wicked stepmother" remark. Yeah, that's definitely not you, her mother maybe fits that role a bit better..."Wicked mother" that is.
ReplyDelete--Baker
wicked stepmother has been our 'in joke' almost since the beginning.... she labelled our home 'the happy kingdom' ...... so it seemed to fit calling me the wicked stepmother. Now we laugh about that title.
DeleteOne of the hardest things in the world would have to be sharing a child with someone who's values and ways don't in anyway match your own. I'm just so glad the lil one has your guys.
ReplyDeleteIt's been kind of a rough week PK - she has seemed a little needy - coming for spur of the moment hugs / kisses/ "I love you's" ... she has now said this is her 'safe' home.
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