Sunday Sentiments

Summer Time .............

Yesterday was the last official day of school !!  I did the happy dance.

The teacher dropped off envelopes with scrapbooks for the kids and any awards they might have won.   Sir Steve stopped on his way home to pick up the envelope.

We were more than a little shocked by the sheer number of awards the lil one won!!

BUT more surprising....... much more ... The teacher made an award for me...... for my perseverance and innovative teaching....... AND she wrote me a personal letter thanking me for all the help I gave her - from figuring out 'Teams' to finding glitches in work assignments.

The one thing through this covid thing that was worrying the lil one was that she wouldn't get to have an end of school celebration.  She doesn't know me OR her dad very well!! 

Sir Steve stopped and picked up a mess of Chinese food....... my eldest daughter and SIL came over - with a pink baseball glove gift - and we had an amazing year end celebration!!  At the fire the little one burned all her 'souvenirs' from our Around the World lessons - and we released all the joy and happiness into the universe.

Today my SIL took her off my hands and they went off to play 'soccer golf' - I am guessing I'll get a blow by blow description of the rules and the game and how much fun it was!! 

And now the summer begins..............

Half Way Back

I'm slowly coming out of the funk I have been in...... slowly.  That whole mess with the lil one last week really knocked the stuffing out of me.... left me limp and exhausted. 

AND yes it was all resolved last Thursday - late afternoon.  The attitude is over .......... for this time!

But it doesn't change how shattered my mind was...........

Today is the last official day of school............YAY!  but the summer stretches in front of me - endless hours of amusing the lil one.  ( I am trying to give myself permission to stop expecting perfection from myself...... got a ways to go yet)

On top of all this - in 2 weeks I have my cancer screening.  I had one in October but there were some anomalies and I was scheduled for another screening in March.... yeah March - so that didn't happen.  I am worried - scared stiff is more honest.  I feel like I'm holding my breath - afraid to make any long term plans in case...............

Before I forget - thank you to all of you who sent emails and messages checking up on me.... it's because of you - honestly - that I am here this morning.........

Bad Place

It has been the week from hell........ hell created and maintained by a 7 year old.

In a nutshell - on Monday - after my spending over 6 hours doing school work and then drafting a 'thank you' letter to her teacher and going for a walk - and and and - you get the picture..... at 5 the lil one came and asked me to take her to the beach for a swim. I explained her daddy would be home soon and I had to make dinner.

Welllllllllll

she sulked and she pouted and basically acted as though I was T H E  worst person on the planet!! 

Her sulky self entitled attitude has gone on all week..........

I have tried every trick I know to reign it in.. nothing is working.

Truthfully I see her mother in this attitude - she'll take and take and take without even a thank you and get all insulted when you don't give anymore!

So we're at an impasse - the lil one is barely speaking to me (though she is fine with everyone else!) and I refuse to do any extras ...... just school work then I retreat to my chair on the deck under the umbrella.

I don't see any end in sight........ Sir Steve has tried talking to her but it didn't change one damn thing.

I have a perpetual headache and upset stomach.

I am done like dinner!

Moment in Time

Fingers tightening around my neck....... feeling the pulse beating ....... feeling the breath .. gasping....

Teeth on my breast... biting.. sucking....

Heart racing.............

Sun streaming in .. lapping at our bodies ... sheets twisted and crumpled.........

Feeling like a woman again.

Sooooooooo Done

Yesterday was the last day 'in' Japan with the lil one - our country of the week.  A dear friend up here promised 2 years ago to make her a kimono.  So......... she got busy this past week and made our lil one her very own kimono.  We won't talk about the hoops I had to jump through ........ or the added stress this caused... I'll just say we got it done - literally 5 minutes before Sir Steve came home with sushi and tempura for our dinner celebration!!

But before we got to the celebration.......

the lil one learned some origami.........

And about Kodomo No Hi or Children's day ........ and she made a carp kite that flew on the deck.........

And finally the Japanese Celebration............. in her kimono!

We have 2 weeks left of home schooling..... and believe it or not the teacher assigned 7 more math lessons yesterday!!!  I'm not entirely sure I am going to continue our Around the World tour........ I am THAT done!!  (though I do have a couple of really cute crafts from Australia and Peru and Ireland - le sigh - but do I have it in me??)

Life is good when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel

Redecorating.....

When we went shopping for our new trailer we had a check list.....

* separate bedroom for the little one

* proper bedroom doors (for privacy dontcha know)

* patio doors

* bigger master bedroom

* nice kitchen table and chairs.

Well we found a trailer that checked off everything except the table and chairs.  Compromise .......... we bought the trailer with the traditional 'banquette' seating.

Now 2 years into the new trailer my heart was still longing for a proper kitchen table and chairs - ones you can slide back to get in and out... instead of having to bum hop across a bench seat.

A couple of weeks ago Sir Steve said he could rip out the old banquet and we could buy a proper table and chairs - a small set BUT still a proper table and chairs.  UGH! during a pandemic - stores closed - shopping for furniture - sometimes I think we are hopeless optimists!!  We measured the space - and measured again... we went online and started 'shopping'.  Finally we found a cute lil table with 4 chairs....... and placed the order.  The one funny thing was at no time did they ask for an apartment number or delivery instructions.... even when they called Sir Steve to announce delivery!  (it was a voice recording saying 'delivery will be between 11 and 2')

Yesterday the furniture was delivered.  The poor delivery guys nearly had a seizure when they realized the address was to a campground!!  By the time they found us - tucked way in the back of the park - they were getting good at manoeuvring their huge truck down narrow gravel roads.

When Sir Steve got home from work (god love him!) he rolled up his sleeves and proceeded to pull the old banquette out.  The lil one was right in there with him helping - picking up screws and nails from the floor.

It took him forever to get it dismantled and out...... and the new set in.... (I think it was 8:30 by the time the work was done - mind you we had a quick supper squeezed in )

BUT OMG!  it was so worth it!!  we all LOVE the new set - no more bum hopping along the bench - AND closing the blinds at night no longer involved crawling into the set!!

Life is good when ' a plan comes together'.

WOW!

The one thing about being here in the country is that the days really do run together.. and I lose track of time.  I knew our Premier for Ontario was gonna make an announcement this week (I thought it was to be on Tuesday but .... shrug... like I said I lose track of things up here)......

At the beginning of this pandemic crisis I tuned in to our Prime Minister at 11 and our Premier at 1ish.... I hung on every word they said..... then I realized the longer we went on... the less I tuned in........ the last couple of weeks I haven't listened to either of them...

Soooooooo I wasn't really surprised that yesterday I was busy 'home schooling' and the time flew past...... I only got the news of our Premier when eldest daughter walked over to tell me we were gonna be starting phase 2 of our re-opening. 

WOW!

As of Friday beaches and swimming pools and splash pads are open... so are outdoor patios attached to restaurants and bars... hairdressers are open.... campgrounds are opening up for 'casuals' or as we call them 'weekenders'.  We can now gather in groups of 10 - still respecting social distancing of course... churches can reopen at 30% capacity (I think that was it) .... sports fields are opening with social distancing .... there's more I am sure... but I can't remember the full list.

This was excellent news!  Now the lil one will be able to go swimming on the hot days - in the lake -- or if the owners get the pools open soon - in the pools when they warm up (not heated ugh!!)  And the owners can start welcoming back their weekenders (personally I think that is their real money maker)

I'm not too sure how I feel about this..... it's kinda nice to feel some more normalcy returning....... but again it makes me nervous.... the 2nd wave we keep hearing about... I can see it building strength in the wings - ya know?!  like a tidal wave building and building just out of view.............. it scares me.......

BUT

for now.... we're entering the 2nd stage of reopening.... and that's a good thing (I guess)

Update

Soooooooooo my world kinda went tits up mid week last week..... I was down for the count with a yucky tummy...... not sure what caused it... maybe stress/anxiety?? who knows? but I did a lot of sleeping.........

Not so much sleeping that I didn't finish off the week with the lil one in Kenya (our social studies project) 

She made a cheetah cub............

And worked in papier mache to create an African mask...... I must admit even I was impressed how it turned out............

And of course there were the regular learning assignments and another directed drawing... this time a tree frog with her first attempt at 'shading' (yes she needs some work on that principle - grinning - and some decent 'shading' pencils)

Thursday the dog was spayed (better late than never) and because I couldn't wrap my head around caring for the dog and going into town on Friday to hand off the lil one and do laundry and groceries - Sir Steve worked from "home" on Friday.... I have to admit the recoup time for the dog was pretty amazing... by Saturday she was barking at anyone/thing that she deemed a threat to her family ........... and dragging her toys over to me to play............. 

Life is good when the sun comes up and normalcy returns

What do You Miss?

Over the last month or so I have been seeing meme after meme - and news broadcasters asking - "What do you miss the most during this period of restrictions?"  "What is the first thing you are going to do when the restrictions are lifted?"

AND I have thought about it... and can honestly say (other than getting a good haircut) there is nothing I am missing and absolutely nothing I am gonna rush out and do.  For me there is a feeling of safety being locked up in our lil bubble -  ya know?  It boggles my mind how people are planning their next trip - their next concert outing - I wonder how they can be so blase about the whole thing... so relaxed that some people are even planning cruises (cause ya know the cruise lines are offering FANTASTIC deals now!)

So today instead of asking what's going on in your part of the world -- I would like to know what's the first thing you are gonna do when the restrictions are lifted.... are you even a little bit worried about venturing out into the world again???

OOOOOOOOOps !!

GAH!!  Honestly I had every intention of posting this morning.......... but between some computer hiccups (the joys of being in the country) and homeschooling it just didn't happen......

Tomorrow we'll do our weekly check in .......... see you all then!

Routines

I love routines!!  they keep my world upright and moving forward.... change my routines and I get flustered and distracted and seem to fall behind.

I have a continuing conversation with myself -- they are MY routines so I can change them... it's ok to change them... and sometimes even necessary to change them.

My morning routine in the city is .... 1st coffee outside on the deck.... say goodbye to Sir Steve... take my pills ... pour my 2nd cup of coffee and write my blog............

Here in the country my routines are a bit blurred........ sometimes I don't have a second cup of coffee till much later... sometimes I don't drag the computer out from the bedroom until time for homeschooling.... then I get flustered 'cause I haven't written my blog!!!

This morning I had my morning coffee visit which delays the start of my day by about an hour.........

my next door neighbour up here and I have become best friends... in September when we were moving back to the city we both moaned that we would miss our morning visits......... she mentioned she came into our town for groceries every Monday so we made a date to do coffee on Mondays all winter. 

And we did....... until covid happened.

Now we're back to morning coffee on the deck -- and yes we are social distancing... thank god for a big deck!!  My visits with her are stronger than my need for routines...amazingly enough..... this morning when I came inside to make breakfast for the lil one I didn't even flinch that my blog post hadn't been written.  My blogland friends would wait......... my coffee with BFF takes precedent ........ WOW!!  no getting flustered or distracted...... it hit me this morning that friendship can override my routines and that is a very good thing!!

Teeth Chattering

Last week it felt like summer....... the temperatures were in the high 30's with humidex readings of 40... (that's high 90s to low 100s for those of you on Fahrenheit)  THEN on Saturday the temperatures dropped.......... down ... down... down - woke up Sunday morning to 5 degrees!! (41 for fahrenheit folks) ........... and NO HEAT in the trailer!!!  GAH!!  It was a simple fix... Sir Steve just had to switch over the propane tanks... but I was a block of ice by the time he did it.  Have I told you all I am a 'fair weather camper??!! GAH!!  With any luck it should warm up again by mid week.

Sir Steve and my SIL worked on the deck extension again this weekend....... and it's finished!!!  I love it!!  Now we can come in and out of our bedroom door...........

                                                              Before....

                                                               After........

One of our neighbours up here... she used to visit me every Monday during the winter and before covid...... told me she had trained as a hairdresser...... but she was allergic to the chemicals they use and had to give it up.......... BUT... a hairdresser??!!  living right beside me ??!!! OMG!!!  Soooooooooo she is bringing up her scissors and stuff and maybe ...... hopefully....... this week she will trim my hair for me!!  wouldn't that be nice?!!!

We're gonna renovate the kitchen here!!  Well really what we're gonna do is get rid of the banquette and put in an actual table with 4 chairs........ OMG!!  I can't wait.  This trailer checked almost all our boxes.. separate bedroom for the lil one... patio doors... big master bedroom (king size bed would you believe??!!  and wardrobe) ...... but we had to give up the dining table........... Sir Steve is gonna fix that !!  with the brand new table and chairs which is supposed to be here next week......... YAY!!!  I will of course post before and after pics.....

and final bit of news.......

The doctor changed Sir Steve's pills.......... and said 'hopefully' the side effects wouldn't be so........ mmmmmmmmm.. annoying?? frustrating??

Well it's been 2 weeks and I don't see any change......... am I being too impatient??

and I hate to bring it up... cause I know it is REALLY bugging him..... and somehow my telling him I am horny isn't gonna make it any better is it?? and I am worried if I try any ... how shall I put it ?? coaxing?? teasing?? sucking?? and it doesn't produce the desired results it will just make it worse ... for him and me.........

but ya know.. on the large scale  of things this really is pretty small stuff.........

Life is good despite some minor blips .........