Friday, October 30, 2015

Self Image

  Last week I posted about losing weight and crediting my fitbit with this accomplishment.

Some of you offered to challenge me on the fitbit.  If you still  want to - email me (there is a link on the right)

And yes Ordalie I did notice my clothes were too big - but hearing if officially from the doctor still made me very happy - and feeling proud of myself.

Since then a couple of things happened re my struggle with my weight..........

One came up with  the therapist - when I was blaming myself for the break up - I honestly believed (back in January) that if I lost all the weight NOW - that W would find me sexy and  desirable again. I couldn't even look in a mirror - cause all I saw was a "fat ugly old woman".

Then when I was with the therapist actually - I got a call from the doctor's office.  My blood tests were back.  My blood sugar numbers (A1C I think they called it) were a bit high!  Suggestion - keep doing what your doing - diet and exercise and we'll see you in 3 months.

WOW!  IF I need more incentive to lose weight that was it!  IF I can do anything to stop the development of Type 2 diabetes I am gonna do it!

And then - on Saturday  youngest daughter took a selfie of the two of us at the ballet and posted it immediately to Facebook.  On Sunday I logged onto FB and had a shock!
Who was that woman?  I blurted out (without thinking) "Hey I look pretty good" and my daughter looked at me like I had a screw loose.  "Of course you look good Mom !!  Why wouldn't you?"  

Simple answer - cause I only saw a fat old ugly woman - till now.

So going to the gym seems easier these days - I am losing weight - fighting diabetes - and am not that woman that I have been thinking I was.....

Why oh why do we measure our self worth on what others think? or what WE see in the mirror?  Like I said the other day - I have some hard work to do.......

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