BUT let me explain - I have always been very good at budgeting my money ... in fact when I saw my financial advisor during the summer he said he wasn't sure why I had booked an appointment - I had done everything he would have told me to do to figure out if I could afford to "live" on my pension - on my own.
AND I have been working part time - doing junior web design. Now there's my problem... I knew it was temporary - that the contract would come to an end around the end of October... but that was back in June...... and during the summer months - especially in August when I moved........ It was lovely to have extra cash flowing in every month.
And that's where my budget fell apart.
I had extra money every month to spend. Oh I did put a portion of it away into a savings account - just in case money. BUT I could still toodle around -- going to munches in far flung parts - using gas -- spending money on food that was not in my budget.... and I knew I was gonna have to tighten my belt eventually -- but having extra cash every month -- and a need to be out and about and seeing people -- I just ignored the calendar and the end of my contract drawing closer and closer.
Well yesterday I got my last project. AND the reality of the end of my contract came home and slapped me upside the head.
This morning I did my budget once twice three times - trying to find extra cash somewhere - anywhere. Now other than selling my body - I am faced with the reality there just isn't any extra cash any more.
I think I am a little angry at myself - I had plans for that extra cash - mainly buying a new computer and I didn't do it. I whittled the money away on god only knows what. That's where I don't do well with budgeting -- sadly. and I am angry with myself.
So reality sets in ......... I have enough money to live on - I do NOT have extra money to play with anymore. There will be no more road trips to far flung munches.. there will be no more splurging on trinkets I want.. there will be no more grandiose ideas of fancy parties........ I can make my budget work.....
I think I am a little jealous / angry?? of those who haven't worked hard their whole lives -- haven't scrimped and saved for their senior /retirement years and still seem to have money galore to come and go as they please... to buy trinkets AND new cars - and anything they seem to desire..........
What the hell did I do wrong???? !!!
Ahhh well - I will work my budget again - cut more corners - and live in my lil apartment - and make it work -- cause that is what I do -- make stuff work.
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