Hauntings

I have been slipping under the weather for just over a week now........... by Friday I was so far under I couldn't see a way up.......... This morning though my head is clear - my belly doesn't hurt - and I even managed two cups of coffee  -- but I will say I AM glad I have a doctor's appointment on Friday -- cause I just feel something isn't quite right ....

But what I really want to get out of my head - shoo be gone!! - are 3 dreams I had on 3 consecutive nights........... I wouldn't exactly call them nightmares -- but they weren't sunshine and lollipops and rainbows either........ and though they are gone -- they are haunting me..............

The first one - 

I was standing beside a bed - and my ex-husband was lying on the bed with a towel discretely draped over his private parts.   I was turning to leave the room -- and heard myself say "I'll be back in a minute and then you can give me a blow job" ............. now as I am someone who NEVER asks for anything of a sexual nature - EVER!!  -  that was weird .............. I keep wondering what brought my ex into my dreams??? He hasn't ever - EVER - been in one of my infrequent dreams before............. 

Second night - second dream - the one that has upset me the most -

I was standing in a kitchen - and my mom was there - she was standing on a small stool reaching to put something into a top cupboard...... I felt something squishy under my feet and looked down........ There was this plastic bag with channels in it - and the channels were filling up with blood -- I looked and this strange bag seemed to be hooked up to my mother.  I said "are you losing weight" and my father appeared out of the corner of my eye and said in a whisper "yes".........  And then we were packing to go to the "cottage" yet my parents never had a cottage - and it was all wooden with steep stairs -- and I was reassuring myself it would be ok 'cause I would have my own room - and I looked up to see my mom walking in front of me with some sort of back pack on (my mother would have died before she ever wore a back pack in real life!!) And I realized that the this weird plastic bag of blood was folded neatly and stored in the back pack.

Third night -- final dream (I hope!!)

I am sitting at the table working (for those of you who don't know - not sure I mentioned it here - I have changed career paths now I am retired and am doing "web design" at a very junior level!!)

So in the dream I am working on a project -- there is this "story line" looks kinda like a tree - hard to explain - but it is real -- I work from it every day.......... there are the top 2 boxes and then lines leading down and branching out  to 4 "chapters" or individual rows of boxes lined up vertically all connected to the top 2 boxes by lines... and I can't find - can NOT - find the box I need - I know it is hidden inside one of the other boxes..and I am getting so frustrated - and feeling stupid - and then just before I wake up - or as I wake up - I go "eureka - the box is inside the one marked "journey" ........... 

Thank god with this last dream when I wake up I don't feel scared - or worried - or confused - I feel satisfied I found it!

But these 3 dreams have haunted me ....... I can't figure out what they are telling me - or why I had them.  I virtually never remember my dreams...... and when I do they are so life like I can't shake them for days!!!


And on top of all that -- today is Thanksgiving  here in Canada.  I was supposed to be in Montreal with my youngest and her family -- but had to cancel cause I don't think I am strong enough just yet to be driving - and I know definitely a full turkey dinner is not what my stomach needs .............. but I am feeling a little sorry for myself.......... I have looked forward to trips to visit my kids during the holidays without any guilt -- and here it is the first one and I can't go .......... I miss my kids ...... miss the family holidays... miss it all........