I am hoping all of you who read yesterday's blog entry got the point I was trying to make - "things" that you work for become things you value and treasure.
Today I want to explore that premise in regards to human beings. How often have I seen submissives chasing after one Dom or another......... throwing themselves at the Dom's feet...... offering themselves up for free. I get it - trust me I do!! - they have discovered this submissive side of themselves and are in a frenzy to have it all - YESTERDAY.
They want to submit - to kneel - to have someone else make all the decisions - they just want to turn everything over and live in some idealistic world.
And oh how many "Masters" leap at the chance to collar these door mat subbies. These slaves who value themselves so low that free is top dollar. These Masters drain the life out of the submissive - and then when she is empty they toss them aside and move on to the next whimpering/simpering subbie.
Or on the other hand - how often do we hear of submissives who complain their Master is abusive - not caring enough - not loving enough and they whip off their collar and throw themselves at the next Master.
Wash rinse and repeat - over and over and over again ad nauseum.
What submissives have to learn is to value themselves. To see themselves as strong worthy women. They have to look hard - audition even - Masters until they find the right combination of love, caring, and cruelty. A really good Master will enjoy the challenge of a strong submissive - of watching the defiance dim in your eyes with each stroke of the whip - with each knot of a rope - until He has truly earned your submission.
You must be willing to set your price high - to be able to earn the right Master - one filled with just the right amount of caring, love, trust, respect and honour.
And it's not just submissives - but women in general - who feel the need - the desperation for a male in their lives and settle for much less than they deserve. They set their value - their price way too low. And happiness always seems to allude them.
We need to set our price high - so that the person who comes to claim us will remember our worth and hold us close - worth the wait and the challenge - a remarkable prize!
APPLAUSE!!!! If you don't value yourself, your gift of yourself....how will anyone else value you? I too understand the initial rush....but it is like a honeymoon phase. No relationship..power exchange or not...has its struggles and must be built..step by step.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
UT OH..just re-read my comment..should be EVERY relationship, not no relationship..
ReplyDeleteabby
I do to a certain extent agree with you (there's some oversimplification going on), but I have to say I think you didn't carry this far enough.
ReplyDeleteWomen who don't value themselves highly enough have been taught not to do so. usually by their parents. I'm one of them. I can vividly remember my mother telling me that if I didn't learn how to do housework better and to keep a tidy house I would never attract and keep a man. Ditto with weight. "If you don't lose some weight you'll end up like Auntie Joyce*!"
At the time I accepted it but now I look at those statements with absolute horror, because of what it implies: that there is nothing in me, nothing within myself that may be seen as being attractive to a man that he might want to be with me regardless of my housework ability or the size of my bottom! And, for that matter, the unthinking assumption that I would want to be with a man....!
It is very hard to value yourself if you've never been brought up assigning any value to yourself. I'm sure you know as a teacher how the damage done as a child takes a lifetime to overcome. It wouldn't be easy; but for me, if you want to imbue women with self-value, then its the parents you have to start with.
k
(*elderly maiden aunt who never married and who has always seemed rather lonely. It was some years later that I discovered WHY she never married - she fell in love with a catholic man during the war, who loved her. they wanted to marry but the man, as a catholic, wouldn't divorce his wife and Joyce wouldn't live in sin. for her, there was no one else. so much for her not attracting a man like my mother always implied!)