Saturday, February 25, 2012

Challenge # 5

I am reading more or less regularly luna's blog The Submissive Guide.  She has a blogger challenge every month - where she posts a question and we write about it on our blogs.

As I have been a little dissatisfied with the BDSM content here of late - I decided to try out this month's challenge.  (And if all goes well I may quite possibly continue to do the monthly challenges) 

This month's challenge is:

Submissive Challenge #5
That Submissive Feeling.

What brings out your most powerful submissive/slave mindset? Is it a regular occurrence in your life or do you long for those submissive/slave feelings more often?

As most of you know I do not wear W's collar.  The only time I actually do wear it - is when we go to play parties.  Then I pull the leather collar out of the toy bag and present it to him.  He fastens it around my neck.  There is something in that moment of tightening that brings me (figuratively) to my knees.  

I have this "flash" of dreams I always had about being 24/7 - a dream that for many reasons came to a screeching halt a couple of years ago (and that we are now working on??? I am working on?? to resurrect)  For that split second - I see myself on my knees at his beck and call - I see myself giving blow jobs (and god don't ask me why blow jobs seem so submissive/slave like to me - but they do seem to be a symbol of all that is slave-like in my mind)

There is something that happens to my mindset when I am wearing his leather collar - something that is very difficult to explain....... a longing.. a need.. a desire... to be the best i can be - to please - to serve.

I wonder what it is about that leather collar - about the putting it around my neck - that takes me to the very submissive side of my personality.  It doesn't work the same if I put it on ....... I think it has to do with the surrendering of my neck literally - and figuratively - the surrending of my body, my heart, my soul - to W.

Why is it that the fastening of the collar brings out the most submissive feelings in me...... I believe it is because - in that moment - we are both in the mind set of Dom and sub.  The fastening of the collar focuses our minds ....... centers our beings..... creates an intensity that in daily life is missing.

It is a physical reminder of an ethereal state.  A state that I think we both forgot about over the years I did wear his collar.


  1. awww did you not life the fact i said you mixed real life with BDSM stuff? =P I meant it as a compliment!

  2. i really like your ending point-that the putting on of your collar is a physical reminder of an ethereal state. Sometimes the power-dynamic is so hard to grab onto it's really nice to have something physical to kind it down with. A collar-or even a mark, or a special item of clothing, whatever has significant meaning to both Dom and sub-makes it a little easier.

    Thank you for sharing :)


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