Saturday, November 06, 2010


I never much thought about the term "Master" until Warren refused to have the title applied to himself. He always maintained that a "Master" had a proficiency in some area. He always claimed he was "still learning" and therefore could not be called or considered a "Master"

Truthfully I rather liked the humbleness of that philosophy. Especially considering my opinion that anyone could call themselves a "Master" in the lifestyle - as there really were no universities to attend or schools to attend with credited teachers to teach. In the lifestyle - it seems to me anyway - that anyone can call themselves a Master and base it on the number of years they claim to be in the lifestyle - or the number of workshops they have taken by any number of other "Masters". No where are there diplomas or pieces of paper hanging on the wall showing you have studied under some great self-proclaimed "guru".

It amazes me the number of newbies that I have met - only 5 or 10 years ago that didn't know one end of a flogger from another who are now Pro Dommes or "Masters" and teaching everyone else how to do A B or C. Boggles my mind!! (But then remember I am a teacher who questions - from time to time - my right to teach ... who do I think I am??!!)

For some reason right now .. here in the Great White North.. there is a HUGE push on to have Dungeon Monitors patrolling all the clubs/play parties... to keep all us players safe and sound!!! Most of those DM's are under the age of 30 ........... and I am sorry - but they aren't gonna tell me - or my play partner - how we SHOULD be playing !!! Sorry but I have 25+ years of playing and experiencing and yes, even attending workshops........ experience tells me that my partner and I know what is right for us.... what works for us....... and my general attitude towards these DM's is keep the hell away from me... IF you must feel useful - then keep all the gawkers away from us too - before they walk into a middle of our scene and get themselves hit upside the head with a back swing!!

I was thinking - early this morning - very early before the birds were up or the sun - that power does indeed corrupt. Put a glow stick around someone's arm - christen them a DM for a night, and look out baby !! Have some self-proclaimed Master believe his own hype and Look out again !! The philosophy seems to be "My way or the highway".

I remember once - a long time ago - Warren was playing with me at a semi-private club. Just the way I like to be played with - by the way. He was tap tap tapping with the big wooden paddle... and after about 10 taps He would wind up and lay into me with one BIG wallop that would just about send me into the next room. I was in my element.. floating along with the taps and flying into sub space with the wallops. A "Master" walked by and had the nerve !!! to stop our scene and critique the way Warren was hitting me. He did not approve and was gonna make damn sure Warren knew.

I was furious !! And after the scene .. and after I had focused my fuzzy brain I told him so !!!

Warren and I landed up withdrawing more and more from public play. When we did go out pubic - we played politely so as not to scare the masses. How boring !!!

Now to the point of this entry.........

I am on fetlife. And for those of you not on fetlife.. or not in the "know" there are two sides to it. The English side .........and the French side. Historically the French side here in the Great White North has played and acted very differently from the English side. They play HARD.. harder I would say than the English side (and that is probably gonna land me in hot water with the English side) and they have more protocols and bowing and scraping than the English side.

Well a day or two ago a Master put up a picture of his slave after a scene they had. Now I am thinking perhaps it wasn't the smartest idea........ considering how squeamish most in the lifestyle are .. or how judgmental they are - despite the "oh we accept everyone's differences!!"

I was a bit shocked at the number of polite Masters that jumped all over this Master for beating his sub into a bleeding pulp. Why I don't know...... cause that seems to be the way of BDSM these days. I don't like what you do - therefore I am gonna denounce it the world !!! There were words back and forth........ but the outcome was basically .......... why would we play in public if this is the reaction we can expect??!!! The Master in question pointed out he didn't play with china dolls. The sub in question pointed out she had a safe word - and never used it - this was the type of play she loved.

Now whether we agree with how they play - that is not the point !!! The point is we are all adults...... we should not need BDSM nazis to tell us how to play and how not to play !!!

Even me - the germ freak - says if they wish to play like that...... and clean up after themselves WELL !! so there is no blood / bodily fluids lying around..... then what the hell is the problem???? Who died and made you....or you...... Master of how someone else plays??? Don't talk to me about caring for your submissive like she is some precious delicate toy and you shouldn't break her. Excuse me - but we are all adults........ how dare you??!!!

Seems to me the Masters had better go back to etiquette school and learn about public play........ and learn RISK or SSC or some of the other "rules" we supposedly live by..... and mind their own business !


  1. Hear Hear....when i first started researching BSDM....years ago...the theme was we are accepting of everyone. Sadly, lately that seems to have become of everyone who agrees with my style of play. We don't play publicly, sometimes i think i am missing something...but maybe not.
    Hope you are resting and taking care of yourself.

  2. I always believe that whatever two consenting adults do is nobody else's business and I hate to see people in this lifestyle judge other people.

    I don't think there is a right and wrong way or a good and bad way. It is jsut what works for the two people in the relationship.

    Good post.


  3. As you know, I am not in the lifestyle. I flirt with it.
    I guess I just "assumed" that people in the lifestyle were more accepting than we vanillas.
    I am a bit saddened to hear that I am mistaken.
    I mean, I know that we are all human, and as such, we have the tendency to critique and scrutinize.
    (maybe I was just too naive??)

    Life itself is difficult enough without someone, somewhere trying to tell you how you should live.
    Besides, what makes me or my opinions better than yours?
    Like Florida Dom said, it's about what works for the people IN the relationship.

    Just my thoughts.

  4. Totally agree! I usually think the DM's job is more to keep people away from getting the back end of a flogger swing.


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