peeking in...

Honest true i am still around.......... the only thing is by the time i get home from work.... i am brain dead (and no comments from the peanut gallery!!)

This week i have been fighting to get rid of this mystery bug.. and just when i think it is gone and life is mine again........ it rears it's nasty lil head and throws another symptom at me....

This week i have been running around (at work) putting out lil fires.... just when i think i have them under control another one flares up somewhere else... this week i have had a lawyer threaten me because - basically - i wasn't wowed by the fact she was a lawyer ........... and i handed her off to the Board.. let them wow each other with their importance and may the best woman win...

i have been digging further into the financial mess that i inherited.. and finally .. on Tuesday totally discouraged and worried by the trend i am seeing.... i got to talk to the BOSS ...... and i have called an audit.. and i made it very clear that i will NOT be handling any problems that happened prior to September 1 - when i officially took over this school.

Then there were 10 jobs posted across the Board - i do believe every single woman who works for me applied.. (about 15 of them) besides all the other women who work for the Board who honestly believe they are the ones for the job......... Yesterday the word came back to me.. one of the women who works for me .. got one of my jobs.. no one else got anything. i got to tell them all the news. i understand being disappointed ....... i do !!! BUT i don't understand how it is MY fault they didn't get the jobs............. honest i don't get that one at all.

Yesterday i packed up all the papers that i inherited.. all the papers that are in no order ....... i packed them all up into 5 banker's boxes and have them ready to go to the Board. When they are finally gone from my office - i think i might be able to relax a little and see this job as mine......... fresh start .. no ghosts screeching and whispering in my office.

This past week i have come to realize the extent of the need of this community.. from illiterate parents to children who have been badly abused.. (worse than i have ever seen ) .. i had one father describe in great detail the women who birthed his children and then left.. from a coke addict to a prostitute to a woman who is now behind bars... i now have 3 .. count 'em 3 - autistic children who are officially mine....... i have children who bite and pinch and kick (not other children - but the adults in their lives......... and for those with a warped sense of humour.. one child particularly likes pinching women's nipples. )

It has been two weeks since i snuggled in my Sir's arms .. with a hot red ass .. and an itch that had been well scratched. It has been a week of my worrying about Him.. about His sugar levels and His tiredness.. and wishing for all i am worth that we could live together.. so i could "see" how He is rather than have Him assure me He is fine........

Yeah it has been an exhausting week.. and yeah i am brain dead............

BUT ..........

There is always next week.......... maybe next week things will get better.