Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hate Goodbyes

Once upon a time...... when i thought i would retire from my school........ i maintained that when retirement day came i would simply disappear in a poof of smoke........ no one would know i was going.. until i was gone.

Then the new job came up........ and as luck would have it.... the transfer happened during the summer when everyone was gone....... i could ... and did.. just disappear in a poof of smoke.

Only one problem with my disappearance.. my old school found me. They called at the beginning of September and told me they wanted to give me a goodbye party. i stammered and stuttered and said i didn't really want a goodbye party.. but they persisted ... so i stalled. i insisted that they let me get through September .. get settled in... and then i would think about it.

Truthfully i hoped they would forget.

Only thing i didn't count on.. was i didn't forget. And the more i thought about it.. the more i thought there were people i would like to see again. So i called them back.. i didn't make it easy for them.. i stipulated the area for the party... the time for the party .. even the day. They agreed ... to all of it.

And so the party is set (next Monday night)........ the invitations sent out (so i have been told) .. and the quick peek i have been given to the guest list makes me feel as though i AM retiring...they have invited teachers i worked with going back 20+ years!! (of course an invitation doesn't mean they will show up - my worst nightmare no one shows up)

i have run a few ideas for a thank you / goodbye speech around in my head..

i have even run a few outfits to wear around in my head..........

Maybe i will just take youngest daughter's suggestion and not show up.........

Cause the bottom line is..........people will say "let's stay in touch" and we won't.. people will say "I will call you" and they won't..... and that makes me very uncomfortable..........

i just plain hate "goodbyes"'s just all so awkward.


  1. Well you can always think of this as your practice round for your retirement party that the Board will be giving you.

    Owner of morningstar

  2. Oh I know. I'd be uncomfortable too. But... You've moved on and they haven't. Maybe it will be easier if you think of this as a kindness you can do for those who really do feel the lack of closure over your leaving. One gentle thing that you can do to help all of them move on too. And if they call or if they keep in touch, that will be a great gift, but the true gift will be in the simple act of one good and decent human reaching out to others. Just sayin'...


  3. I'm not much for saying goodbye. "I'll see you when I see you," seems to work better for me.

  4. Anonymous1:17 pm

    Okay, this comment was supposed to be me trying to give some suggestions or guidance on what to say for a speech. I tried to write but I couldn't come up with anything viable.

    Good luck!


  5. Anonymous8:17 pm

    Think of it as a last gift to them. The people that are truly worthwhile in your life will stay in touch and you might be glad they did.

    This is your chance to be honest with people (in a good way) perhaps write them each a letter that expresses your hopes for them or strengths you feel they have (or at least write to the ones you feel you know well enough.) or include it in your speech?

    Really these sorts of things strike me as something you do for other people. You let them have a nice time and get to say goodbye to someone they obviously valued and you, perhaps, get final closure.

    If you honestly 100% didn't want to go then why did you phone them back... maybe there is part of you that wants to say goodbye (traitor!) hehe!


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