If i ever believed that i have a poker face - time and experience has taught me otherwise. i have been accused of clearly telegraphing my emotions and thoughts. In fact a few years ago a member of my staff filed a grievance against me.. mainly because i "rolled my eyes" at her. (Of course the whole thing was thrown out BUT i was advised to try and keep my emotions / feelings concealed).My children have always complained about "my faces".
My Sir complains (and punishes me) for "my faces"
Friends have complained i "roll my eyes" - which is just another way of saying "my faces".
This is obviously becoming a big problem for me. The interesting thing for me - though - is when i work really really hard at controlling "my faces" i am then asked repeatedly by everyone what is wrong??!! It is the same when i bite my tongue and work very hard at not being cheeky - everyone thinks i am angry or sick or upset....... go figure !!
What i think is wrong....... though i may be totally wrong here.. is that everyone places wayyyyy too much value on what i think/feel or how i look. Some people need to be a whole lot more comfortable with who they ARE... and not worry so much about what i think.. if indeed i am thinking about them. (did you follow THAT bouncing ball??) Just because i am sitting opposite you in a room full of people does not mean that i don't hear other comments and perhaps.. just maybe?? my rolling eyes are in reference to something other than what You have said??? or maybe i am bored and thinking about something that happened yesterday or the day before that.. and my face shows my reaction to THAT.. ok ok i know that is rude and if i am with company i should be hanging on their every word........ but hey..sometimes my mind wanders........ and shit happens !!!
Anyway...... i am feeling very much caught between a rock and a hard place.. i think perhaps i need to change my attitude to one of simpering devotion to every one and every thing that is said.. smile politely and nod a lot......
And if there is any doubt .. right about now.. about what i am truly feeling.......
What a handicap. The only differences between between my sad, glad, mad faces are a slight change in my eyes. I've been working on glad.
ReplyDeleteI relate to that quite easily... My emotions, stes of mind, thoughts, are showing quite clear in my face and it is an issue... It is a hard one to live with...
ReplyDeleteGreat blog! Think i'll be spending some time looking throught the rest of it :)
ReplyDeleteBlair
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