not so vanilla thoughts

All in all it was a good weekend.... despite the vanilla activities...... We went to a train show Saturday morning and i realized that the work i have done on the scenery isn't all that amateurish and the 'experts' fast water looks pretty much like my fast water - which is a white mess in the middle of the creek. i also got to buy a farm to go with my black smith shop - not at all what i had originally planned on doing..... the purchase (by mistake) of a black smith shop kinda changed the flow of the farm area......

Dinner with vanilla friends was ok too...... except i struggle so hard with the rules when surrounded by vanilla folks... example... i am always supposed to carry sweetener in my purse for Sir.. and the last packet had gotten mauled and mashed and i had tossed it out and forgotten to replace it. By the time coffee rolled around on Saturday night i had to hang my head because there was no sweetener in my purse... and it meant going out to the car to fetch the sweetener that is always kept there..... No one understood WHY i had to go....... and i felt like a child who was being scolded .. and i was embarassed .. and didn't really want to return........It is all so much simpler when we are with others from the BDSM community - they would laugh and tease me.. BUT on Saturday night the others looked at Sir like He was a "jerk" (for lack of better words) for allowing me to run and get His sweetener.. i much prefer the rules to be subtle and flow smoothly so no one notices.......

Sunday afternoon Sir strung me up from the chains in the basement.. it started with 20 punishment whacks.. with the plastic snake shaped shoe horn from Ikea.. and i was supposed to say "one Sir thank You Sir i have learned my lesson Sir" before the next strike..and i discovered to my dismay that a "FUCK - insert number - Sir thank You Sir " does not count towards the total and we must start over.. (please note i learned that valuable lesson on stroke 12 !!) i also learned that keeping my voice sing songy and rhythmical and a bit saucy helps get through the counting without too many "fucks"..

And then Sir moved on to the "play time"
i was cheeky and feisty and i did a lot of giggling and laughing.. i like when i am in a devilish mood when we play.. i love dancing away from the strokes and laughing when Sir grabs me by my breasts and or nipples and dares me to dance away..... BUT i still declare the flogger of a thousand bee stings is NOT a warm up toy.. no matter how gentle Sir says He is using it.. and the leather quirt and straps are definitely NOT breast toys.. and oh yeah since when did "we" agree that my breasts were to be played with??!! AND oh my god how it hurt when the quirt kept hitting my nipples dead on.. DEAD ON i say !!! and i listened to the "mood" music playing in the back ground..... and i kept thinking didn't we used to play right through the cd and play into the quiet nothingness at the end?? and i kept wondering why it is that each and every time Sir has me to the point that i am bent over nearly double with my ass up in the air ( a most embarassing position for me!) that the Lords of Acid ...or whatever the group name is... comes on singing "I want to fuck you up the ass".

And it embarasses me .. and amazes me that through all the pain.. i feel myself getting wetter and wetter .. till the whole room smells of my musky scent.. And Sir never forgets to whisper in my ear how drippy wet i am.. and how much i love everything He is doing to me... which - most of the time - just makes me wetter.

And when the song "I want to fuck you up the ass " came on.. i was bent over.. Sir using the wooden sword on my ass and soft spots with one hand and with the other was teasing my clit .. tugging on my jewelry .. making me back up into the spanks .. making my mind whirl and not focus anymore.. my need growing.. feeling His fingers slide into me.. pushing me way over the edge i had been teetering on .......... and then.. then.. wondering how He was ever going to get me down from the chains without my falling.. feeling like i was falling.. holding on to Sir tightly ..but still being aware enough to enjoy the cheeky thought of how He would yelp if i .. by mistake.. grabbed a hold of His nipple and tugged on IT for support........... and sinking to the ground at His feet .. a puddle of submissivness.. thanking Him for the session.. thanking Him for everything...........

And then being snuggled up under the blankets upstairs in the recliner.. feeling myself dosing off.. feeling warm and snuggly and seeing my fairies dancing just beyond my reach.........