The Beating

Saturday night we had a pot luck Halloween party to go to.....

This blog entry isn't about my home made "eye ball" munchies.............

Or my bug filled taco bake......

And it isn't about costumes or decorations...........

It's about W turning to me right after dinner and saying "let's go downstairs".  W NEVER plays that early... W never plays "first"........ but Saturday he did.

And everything else felt different too........

We were all set up on the "step ladder" apparatus  and there was a subbie beside me tied to the pole - and there was a Dom sitting over in the shadows with a drum.  

Soon as W started in on my ass - I could hear this drumming - a strong beat - that W kept time to............. or the drum kept time to W..... which ever way it went - (though the drummer told me later he was keeping time to W's swing) my head went into the beat of the drum - the music of the drum.... and the drumming fever seemed to swamp my mind and take over.... and I could barely hear the sub beside me - I was very centered in the drumming caressing my body while the whips and floggers and paddles beat their own kind of rhythm on my body and mind.  

It hurt.

I remember the hurt.  I remember thinking about the hurt... questioning how rational my brain could be to want ... to need .. to crave this amount of hurt.

And the drums drummed on.

And the gorean whip came out and it threw me against the step ladder thingy over and over again until I didn't think my legs would hold me up anymore - didn't think I could bring my ass back out - one more time - for one more hit.

Then the drumming stopped and the beating stopped and I was getting dressed and sitting on a seat - and this little voice was saying really "stupid" things like " my ass hurts" and I heard people telling me they couldn't believe what they had just seen - couldn't believe what I had taken......... and I withdrew deeper into my head. 

And W was doing all the right things - stroking me and talking to me and making sure I was ok - but I was just going deeper and deeper inside - and then to make everyone shut up - I put on smile - stood up - and walked around and made everyone see I was ok.. nothing was wrong..... 

But deep inside - my ass hurt - and I couldn't really understand why I wanted it / needed it/ desired it.