and I don't have any balls.
It's been a really rough week for me - emotionally. Sir Steve met with the lil one's mother on Monday. It's the first time they have actually met face to face to discuss the lil one for a couple of years.
And it was an eye opener.
When Sir Steve was telling me about the meeting..... my mind just whirled.......... the lil one has been lying to both mom and dad....... manipulating all of us. and because no one was talking to the other one ...... she has gotten away with it for a couple of years at least.
AND she doesn't seem the least bit phased by the whole situation.... I have removed some privileges (like using my computer) and she just shrugged her shoulders and went off to play in her room.
Believe you me -- over these last few days I have questioned how... why... I thought I could be a 'step mom'. I feel like I have failed. I thought I had reached her -- made an impression ya know? ........ turns out she was playing me -- I haven't touched her at all.......
And now I feel -- I'm not sure what I feel -- hurt ... angry..... sad...... a failure. And I have no idea where I go from here.............
I hope so.....
Wow.. I wonder how she manipulated all the adults. Sorry that you feel hurt. Definitely not easy being a step mom.
ReplyDeleteit's tough I am sure, Morniingstar ... it's also tough to be the child ... that's the side of the story I know. You might want to suggest some child counselling to get to the root of why. I'm sure the stability you provide will be important to her ... even if she doesn't recognize it now, she will later. Hugs! ... nj
ReplyDeleteOh Morningstar,
ReplyDeleteHow awful! Especially that little one shrugged it off without a care. That hurts! Being an adult sucks sometimes, but I am sure you will reach her. The fact that you stepped up and took away privileges shows how much you are invested.
I believe in you. You can do this!
Boo
OK, I'm sure it was painful as we all know here how hard you've tried to make life stable and fun for this little girl. But she IS a little girl. One, moreover, who has been dealt a pretty crappy hand - parents broken up- acrimony and anger - while you and your Sir have done your best to protect her and shield her, I can only imagine what she has got from the other side. Further, regardless of either parent's (and stepparent's) efforts, she is still a child - one who is no doubt confused, angry, hurt, torn - I know you have dealt with these hurt children your entire teaching career. While you have invested far more in this little one, don't give up yet -she is not a lying, scheming ADULT- she is a baby who is trying to do the best as she tries to figure out her world. Continue as you and your Sir have been doing, calmly explain to her what is unaccepetable behavour and continue to be the calm in the storm, the place of safety for her.
ReplyDeleteAre you really sure the mom was not just false blaming the little one? That the mom was not lying to make herself look better? I've been there, and am guessing some of this is directly related to the mom's coaching. Be strong!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are feeling hurt Morningstar. It is such a difficult situation for everyone, and especially for lil one in the middle of it all trying to make sense of her world.
ReplyDeleteYou give you all to her and together you and Sir Steve provide stability, you have not failed. I also believe you have reached her. Hang in there!
(((Hugs)))
Roz