A Moment in Time (or two)

Sitting in the waiting area - divided into four corners - sick folks in each corner - waiting for their moment - their turn in the operating room.  W standing tall in front of me............ 

Then he came for me - for the long walk down the hall to my operating room  - it was my turn.  I stood up - gathering the blanket around me - fear rippling through my body making it shake - and I threw myself into W's arms - tears over flowing - and he held me close - he may have whispered in my ear - but all I know is that his strength flowed into my body and I felt safe

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3:00 am - the clock was flashing 3:00 am - their good drugs had worn off and my body was engulfed in pain - blinding pain.  I stumbled to the bathroom in the darkness of the night and the pain............ bright red blood flowed - the pain stabbed and made me gasp 

I stumbled back to bed - curled up in a ball - knees to my chest - my back to W - the pain clawing at my insides - 

And then his hand - gently, tenderly rubbing my back - and his strength flowed back into my body and my eyes closed and I drifted back off to sleep - knowing he was there - he was loving the pain away............. 

 

Today - updated

I am home.  The surgery went quicker than anticipated - which is a good thing.  I get the pathology report in 3 weeks.  For now - healing time...............

.

I got the call from the surgeon's office 2 weeks ago giving me my date for surgery.

On Friday, I had my pre-op tests -  I have to admit they went better/quicker/easier than other pre-op tests I have had.

And today - at 12:30 I am admitted to the Day Surgery ward.  My surgery to remove the tumour from my bladder will be approximately 2 hours later.  With any luck I should be home later this evening and can sleep in our bed........... with any luck.

I'll be back when I get here....................

Sunday Sentiments

This Sunday's Hallmark saying seemed a good bit of advice for yours truly .........

Wondering

I have felt like everything - my whole world - is in a holding pattern................

I wonder if things will ever return to normal...... spankings and serving and sex and enthusiasm......... 

OR

is this my new normal??? 

A day later...........

I get my haircut about every 4 - 5 weeks.  Normally it is shorter in the back and longer in the front - falling to about my chin.  It is in my opinion a style that suits me.

However - come the warmer weather I HATE hair on my neck.  In the summer I do NOT "glisten" .. I don't even "perspire".  I sweat - gallons!!!  and my hair always looks as though I just walked through a rain storm.  So in the summer I maintain the same style only much much shorter - no hair on my neck at all.

Ok - you following my train of thought here??   Well last week there was one warm spring day which immediately sent my mind rushing to heat waves and wet ugly hair.  And then I was thinking I am gonna have surgery - and I need my hair in a style that is easy to manage.... not a whole lot of fussing with hair dryers and curling irons

Then last week I was watching TV and saw someone with fine limp hair just like mine and she had this cute pixie cut (of course she was a tiny pixie sort of person, something I will never achieve and something I seldom notice until AFTER I copy the hair cut - or the clothing style - or the what evers) 

I booked an appointment with my hairdresser.  She picked up the scissors after my hair wash and was all set to start cutting when she said in passing "same style??" and I remembered - heat - pixie cuts - surgery...and said "noooooooooo I am sorta thinking shorter " mentioned the pixie cut - mentioned same style but shorter - mentioned heat and sweat.

She nodded and started cutting and I am watching - well watching as much as I can without my glasses (I am virtually blind without them) and opened my mouth and said "no I think you should go shorter".  The customer is always right - so she went back and cut the bit she had done shorter.

I realized I might be in trouble when she used the electric razor - NOT to trim the edges - BUT to actually cut the back of my head!!  She blew it dry - used the curling iron and her "hairdresser" magic, handed me the mirror and I swallowed hard.  She had cut my hair somewhere between my usual short summer cut and a pixie cut!!  

All I could think was 'W is gonna kill me!!'  

Bravely I came home........... before I even took my coat off I called down to the family room and said "it's really short".  W grunted.  I finally went down and showed him.  He didn't say much  - though later on he did demonstrate that he could still grab a handful if necessary!


I thought what fun to take a picture of this haircut  --  a SELFIE -- just like everyone is doing and post it to Facebook!!  (le sigh) me taking a SELFIE!!  I HATE having my picture taken for heaven's sakes

* First I had to figure out how to turn the cell phone camera around (automatically) so I could actually take a selfie............... 
* Then I had to get over the shock of focusing on my own face
* Then I had to get over the shock of all the close up wrinkles
* Then I had to figure out how to hold the camera at the right distance, focus and find the damn button to actually take the shot...
(it was at this point that W  - who had been watching the whole rigamarole with exasperation asked if he should just take the damn pic!! to which I of course said "NO -- I am taking a SELFIE")
* Finally I snapped the shot - can I say UGLY!!!
*  Snapped a second shot ....... and a third and a fourth!!
*  Finally settled on the 5th shot and posted to Facebook
TA DA!  I had taken my first SELFIE - how cool was that??!!

I will ignore the snarky comments from friends and family about MY taking a SELFIE -  I will also probably never do it again......... but I will share with you the one and only selfie ............. for prosperity

Award Season

Back in the day - when I had a list of blogs I read as long as your arm - there were contests/memes/awards that would go around regularly.  I was thinking just the other day when I stumbled across a blog that had done a "meme" that I hadn't seen that in years!!

Then today I got a notification that I had been nominated by AtivaLuv for the Liebster Award.............

and like all awards it comes with a strict set of rules to follow........... 

As much as I am touched that a lurker finds my blog inspiring enough to nominate it for this award......... I am not inspired enough to follow the rules..........which is not to say that all of you who read here and have blogs shouldn't be nominated for such an award - it just says I am too lazy to post 11 things about myself - answer 11 questions and then come up with 11 blogs to nominate and 11 questions for you to answer........ you can consider yourselves all nominated if you wish...............

Though this award has saved you from reading a blog I was going to write about taking "selfies" and my new hair cut.......... you can all thank Atiya now :)

Another Monday??!!!

Yup it's Monday again........ boy time flies when you're having fun 

We had a good weekend - went to a munch on Saturday night - terrible food but good company and the company is more important than the food (or so we keep telling ourselves at munches)

Kingston shuts down completely over any and all holidays - including the bus service - which drives W nuts.  The city will hold all these free family events - but unless you drive you can't get to them.  (fortunately we drive - cheeky grin)

On Sunday we went downtown to an art gallery.  They were holding an exhibition of works by local photographers.  One of the exhibitors is a friend of ours.  W took an artsy fartsy photo of us ( I left my camera at home - wasn't sure I could take pics of pics in a gallery - I'll know for next time)

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy if you look close you can make out the photograph ( redish birds flying across a blue horizon,  You think *I* am arty farty this photographer has me beat hands down!!) You can sorta/kinda make out W and I in the reflection and the rest of the gallery in the reflection.......... a lot to see crammed into one little pic :) :)

No Easter chocolate in this house - but I did make a special dinner last night for W and myself - barbequed steak (first barbeque of the season) with baked potatoes and  veggies.  Not exactly your traditional Easter dinner - but then we're not exactly very traditional folks (cheeky grin)

Hope you all had a good Easter - traditional or otherwise,

Sunday Sentiments

I warn you all now - today's piece is rather irreverent for Easter Sunday.............. 

Happy Easter Everyone !!!

Bright Idea

I had a bright idea this morning - well  - I think it is a bright idea!!! You probably won't be as impressed - and will probably not participate - BUT - me - the eternal optimist honestly believes that some of you will "play along".

I have always wondered about the folks who stop by here to read (and sometimes comment) It started off with wondering how come folks leave comments in the middle of the night (well middle of MY night).  Yeah that was obviously a "duh" moment - anyone from the other side of the ocean - OR for that matter - the other side of this continent - would comment then.  

Then I wondered a little about who you are - are you just curious about BDSM or do you participate at some level - are you ever shocked by what I post - do you work in an office - in a school - are you single - married - gay - hetero - my mind just wonders WHO you are behind the words.

So I decided I would ask - cause the worst that can happen is you all disappear and never return.  (cheeky grin)

I am not looking for personal information that will allow someone to find out WHO you are in the real world............. I am just asking for a little information to flesh out the picture I have of each of you. You don't have to give me your "real" name and address and telephone number - no no no - that's not what I mean.....you could leave the country you live in - or the state you hail from - you can give me any information you are comfortable sharing.............. 

I think  I will leave this post up (front and center) for a couple of days - give you all time to read and hopefully comment....................
 

Not much......

Haven't got a whole lot of news today ............. We went to house sit for our friend while she was at her dad's funeral.  Her parents live way out in the country on acres of land! All I kept thinking was - what a lot of grass to cut!!!  (and snow to shovel in the winter!!)  But there was a quiet peace standing out on the deck looking over flat farm fields listening to the birds singing.....

Of course I took some arty farty pictures - and thanks to W can actually share with them with you.  See I managed to leave my memory card for the camera in my pc - ooooooooops!!  So W loaned me the card from his camera.... cause I just know how disappointed you all would have been if you couldn't see my pictures (cheeky grin)

 

  

anyone want to venture a guess what this "out" building is??

Then when we got home we headed out to a munch - where I had an artery blocking poutine called Chicken Fajita poutine................ it involved a mess of french fries, gravy, cheese curds, salsa, onions, chicken and sour cream - absolutely to die for (literally and figuratively!!)

New Day

A new day has dawned ..... the sun is shining .. the robins are pulling worms out of the front lawn ... the (damn) rabbits are eating my baby bulb shoots......... and I have a list of things to get done today................

BUT 

First I do have to thank you all for your support, your encouragement, your prayers.  I still have to face the bladder cancer - the surgery and everything else that follows that - but I have faith I will beat this one.  One is so much easier to face than two!!

Today we are off to house sit for a friend who lost her dad last week to cancer.  The funeral is today and they needed a house sitter while they are out at the funeral.  

Then - depending on when we get "off duty" from that we will head back here and maybe squeeze in a munch tonite.

Life is so good !
 

Good Vibes ??

 I am back from the doctor's -  the uterine biopsy came back BENIGN!!!!   See me do the happy dance????




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Today - at 10:30 to be exact - I will be sitting in the doctor's office - yet again - getting the results from the uterine biopsy.

I could sure use all the support I can get ............ I am not doing very well right now.

Adventure

Saturday I was having a lazy day................ just couldn't seem to get in gear.  So I spent the morning curled up in my lil corner of the sofa not doing much of anything......... 

After lunch W asked what I had planned for the afternoon.  Initially I thought ' a nice lil nap seems like a good idea'  BUT instead I asked him what he was thinking of........

W said he was thinking of checking off another thing on his bucket list - a trip to Westport.  Westport is a small summer community about a 30 minute drive north  of Kingston.  We keep seeing an advert on television for a shop called Rosie Yumski's Fine Foods. I knew as much as W said Westport - he was really thinking Rosie's.  I grabbed my camera - cause ya never know what lil arty farty things you might see on an adventure.

It was a pretty drive up.  One tricky part though, was driving through a portion of the road that was flooded.  I keep thinking how you hear you should never drive through a flooded road as you don't know what will happen............ but W went slower than slow and we made it through.  (obviously or I wouldn't be on here posting this morning!)  And we made it safe and sound to Westport.

It is obviously a summer resort as a lot of the boutique type shops weren't open - like the ice cream shop.  I had thought I might like some of their homemade fudge - but that will have to go on my bucket list.

We wandered around town - and I took pictures ............... 

We had spotted Rosie's as we drove into town and parked just down from it.... but I spotted this view down a side street and asked W if we could wander down there first ....

It was their marina....

 water levels are unbelievable high in all areas - so I took a few shots to try and show the high water levels and the seriousness of it... 

 I absolutely LOVED the foot bridge and took so many shots of it - different angles - different lighting.... here's just a couple of them.........

then I took shots of some of the shops and buildings - but believe it or not - never did take one of Rosie Yumski's shop - the main reason for our trip - le sigh 

can you imagine motoring up in your boat for a fill up - and buying your fish and chips out of the "gas station"???  

Rustic Oven????  My lord the building is rustic enough - I can't imagine how "rustic" the oven must be.  AND that picture shows the entire restaurant!!  I didn't cut the left side off - that's it - one lil boxy building set back from the road.............

 that is NOT a church believe it or not.......... it is the post office!! 

 I have to assume this must be a summer cottage - built on top of the boat house right on the water....

we saw a number of folks making their way to this bakery so we followed along - expecting ?? I am not sure - but some sweet treat for sure.  It was a bit disappointing to us city slickers - though it might have more treats in tourist season.. 

I did love the brooms that were hanging in the stairwell - and thought them definitely worthy of a picture ..................

And then there were the crocuses peeking through - reminding everyone that spring is indeed here!! 

All in all a great Saturday afternoon adventure!!!!   

Sunday Sentiments

Shocking and Offensive

Now that I have your attention (cheeky grin)

I was over on Heart and Soul this morning............ and for some reason I read the "warnings" - you know what I mean - all of us who write "adult only" blogs tend to have some form of warning in the heading.  Ronnie has these words in her warning "but will never intentionally offend or shock"

Those words got me thinking........... have I ever shocked or offended?? And I suspect at one time or another I have shocked or offended someone........... that's just the nature of the beast right??? What is ok for one may not be ok for another.  

I remember having dinner with some "lifestyle" friends one evening eons ago and the discussion came round to our newest toys - newest kinks.  And W and I were sharing - quite animatedly - I must admit - our love of needle play.  Neither of us noticed the other sub going a bit pale until she stood up from the table and flew to the bathroom.  (and no it wasn't my cooking that had brought about her quick departure)  It turned out she has a massive aversion to needles  -  any type of needles - medical - play.......... 

W and I apologised when she came back and of course changed the topic.  She apologised for rushing from the table and "ruining" the happy discussion.  BUT we did not intentionally set out to shock or offend.

I believe this happens more than we know........ at play parties.. at munches... over coffee and dinner.  As the expression goes "shit happens".  I don't like to think that anyone sets out with the intention of shocking or offending (well most civilized people that is) which sort of/kind of brings us back to the post I wrote earlier this week "Cheeky".  

Have we become a society that feels the need to take responsibility for everyone's feelings???  Will we start watering down everything - censoring everything - for fear of offending or shocking someone??? IF it is an adult activity - or adult content - why must we have watch dogs to protect the easily offended??? Why can't we each make our own decisions about what we wish to view / listen to ???

I don't set out to offend or shock - BUT  - I don't do anything to prevent it either.

MY Journey

I was trying to come up with a post for The Journey this morning.......... and to be honest I have felt for a long time now that for the most part my writing has deviated away from BDSM and is more along the lines of some vanilla house wife's bitching about life.  There just isn't (hasn't been) a whole lot of BDSM going on in this house these days.

BUT then I thought - originally this blog was really just my way of documenting my life - all my life - which means more than BDSM.  Yeah my readership has dropped off - but the main purpose is still MY writing about MY life - whatever that may be on any given day.

Today I need to document my efforts to stop smoking.  "They" say the more people who know you are trying to stop the better it is.  Now I am not too sure I totally agree with that philosophy - since I really must do this for ME.    I have found in the last week (especially) that every time I go to have a cigarette I feel guilty - guilty because I know W is aware I am smoking and I feel like I am letting him down (yet again)  But that's when I have to remind myself I am NOT doing this for him - I am doing it for ME - for MY health.............. because unlike a lot of people - I do not function well working from guilt.  It tends to make me angry and take a "who are you to tell me what I should or shouldn't do" attitude.  Yup - it's much better if I do this for me 

 I found the above poster and read it / studied it carefully.  OH I have always known that there were all these nasty poisonous chemicals in my beloved cigarettes - but I always rationalized smoking by saying my grandfather smoked till the day he died (at 90 something) and he died from old age.  I had someone - once upon a time - point out that the cigarettes my grandfather smoked were probably pretty much pure tobacco - not full of the chemicals we find today.  BUT I didn't listen - I believed I had good 'genes' and could smoke without fear.

Of course I learned last week - that just isn't true.   And so I made my decision to end this lifetime bad habit......... NOW.  (ok ok - as soon as I can)

When I came to Kingston in July I was smoking an unbelievable pack and half a day.  In September with the urging of my new doctor I made a conscious decision to stop.  Last Thursday when I got the diagnosis of bladder cancer I was smoking 7 cigarettes a day.  AND I was quite pleased with my progress - hell I was so pleased that I had stayed at 7 per day for about 2 months!!! (le sigh)

Now I am back on the wagon - working hard to drop the last 7 without any nicotine patches or fixes.  As of yesterday I was down to 4 1/2  a day.

Then I saw / studied this new poster................

And I was shocked.  I guess I figured once I had stopped, within a month or so my body would be clear of all the toxins.  But if you look closely it takes 5 years - 5 YEARS!!! - to lower the risk of bladder of cancer......... and I couldn't help but think do I  have 5 years???

It made me a little discouraged - but I sucked it up and am fighting on..........
 

Cheeky

Ok I had this blog post - just a small one - in my head this morning.  Then - as is the norm with my brain - it took the one lil idea and started bouncing all over the place with it.....


 As I haven't posted a bouncing ball post in like FOREVER - I thought I would post my bouncing thoughts and see if you can follow along,..........

W was making his breakfast and I wondered into the kitchen - not even sure what we talked about - but the lil cheeky subbie came out........ I was all but wiggling my ass at him (trying to provoke him??? nah I don't think so - just doing what has always come naturally to me.  And what makes me a one of kind - delightfully challenging - cheeky sub)

But it was breakfast time and god forbid anything stands between W and his breakfast - including a cheeky ass sub...............

So then I came back to the computer and thought I would share the almost normal interaction - and started looking up pics under the theme "cheeky"......... which didn't really get me what I was looking for .......... so I switched the search to "bare ass" and oh yeah that got me a whack of bare bottoms!!

I don't think my ass ever looked that good!!  not even 30 years ago!! BUT yummy I do love that shape - would love to sink my teeth in................ 

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy ................. before I get any more distracted...............

That got me to thinking how I personally much prefer a nice rounded female ass to a male ass.  (which shouldn't surprise those of you who know my back history) 

Then that sent my brain looping back to last night's Entertainment Tonight Show (one of W's can't miss shows) and how they showed some pic of Kim Kardashian's bikini clad ass with a suitably placed yellow banner to hide the  crack.  Good lord!!!  And then they went on and on about how it isn't appropriate to show that much!!!  and I sat there grinding my teeth thinking - 'as long as TV shows and magazines are gonna take those sorts of pictures and publish them then the Kim Kardashians and Miley Cyrus's  of the world are gonna dress (or undress) to shock.'  Ignore them - don't take the shot - don't buy the shot - don't publish the shot and then you don't have to be shocked - you don't have to be offended  and you don't have to censor what you think I don't want to see.

I can find the naked ass shots quite well on my own (cheeky grin) and I don't personallly care who the ass belongs to - I can close my eyes and imagine sinking my teeth into that nice round ass cheek!

Jumbled and tangled

 

I saw the therapist yesterday - again - and probably will for a while.  My emotions and thoughts were pretty jumbled and when I opened my mouth they just all poured out.... didn't make much sense to me actually.

How I still have another biopsy to hear from and god what do I do if that's cancer too - and how I had to phone the family and tell them I had cancer and how I had nothing in me to help them - and how I felt guilty - and how I expected them all to blame me - and they didn't and I couldn't understand why they didn't blame me - and how I intended to stop smoking NOW and I hadn't though I was down to 5 cigarettes a day (versus a pack in Sept) and how I didn't understand why all these people I hardly know - and some I don't know at all - are reaching out to me - offering support and hugs

And when the jumbled tangled emotions finally stopped spilling out of me and when the tears finally stopped streaming down my face she started to talk quietly and soothingly to me.......... 

WHY would I feel like it was all my fault???? where did that come from??? Had I wanted to have cancer??? and that cancer wasn't a death sentence - and how kidney failure and dialysis is palliative care - had I thought about that?? and why should I be surprised by folks reaching out to me - didn't I think I deserved people's help/support??  And she pointed out I DID have cancer and I needed to give myself time to deal with that - to cry over it - to yell at it -  to expect I would have bad days - but the bad days would get fewer - and I would indeed be strong again - one day soon.

And so when the hour was over I had much to process - the jumbled tangled mess was sorted out better - allowing me to look at what is inside my head -

Lazy Sunday

I don't what has happened to my "work ethic" these days - but I seem to be having more lazy days than productive ones.

After lunch yesterday W told me he was going off to the hobby shop - then off to a little town near us to photograph their ferry.  He suggested that I go out and do some photography too.  I must admit when he left I felt a little blue.... I could have asked if I could go with him to photograph the ferry - but I thought maybe he just needed some alone time, so I kept my mouth shut.

Shortly after he left I gave myself a kick in the pants - gathered up my camera paraphernalia and headed downtown to see what - if anything - was going on.  Nothing.

But I remembered that I had "googled" deserted buildings in Kingston - and there was a barn on Hwy 2 in the east end of the city.  I took a deep breath and decided to head out over the causeway bridge and see if I could find it.

It didn't take long to find it.............. but unfortunately the winter took it's toll on the old building and it had imploded in on itself.  I drove past weighing my options..... I could take shots of it as is.........there might be some interesting artsy fartsy shots to be found in the ruble.  So I turned around and headed back ..................

On the way back I saw these cows standing around in the field........... It was humorous - well to me it was.  I pulled the car off Hwy 2 at the driveway to the farm........... put the emergency flashers on - changed lens and climbed out of the car.  As I started to walk up the driveway a short distance, I looked over at the cows.  They had been statues when I drove past - ignoring the world around them....... but as I walked up the driveway all heads turned to survey me.  Talk about feeling like I was under a microscope.  They didn't even blink.  I wonder why folks would raise long haired cows - seems to me they would need brushing and trimming???? but they were interesting to see - nice change from the ordinary cows one sees all the time.............

I shot a couple of shots then climbed back in the car to head back to my imploded barn.  When I arrived at the driveway to the barn I noticed two things right off - 1) there was a huge load of new wood just off the driveway close to the barn (so - not deserted anymore) and 2) that there was a car in the driveway.  

I slowed to a crawl hoping to see the driver of the car around and find my courage and ask permission to shoot the barn.  Unfortunately no driver - but I did see posted "No trespassing - private property" signs.  I turned the car westward.

Ok so no barn a couple of shots of some long haired cows - hardly worth the trip.  Right then!!  Let's not waste the effort/trip....I would go to Portsmouth Harbour and see if there was any action going on there... even just some birds/ducks.

BUT the harbour was empty of life........ cold and frozen............. I shot a couple of shots

 and headed off again......... thinking I would make one last stop at Lake Ontario park.  Why I thought I would find something interesting to shoot there is beyond me... you can see from the above shots the lake is still pretty well frozen......... and the 10 minutes or so I was there *I* was pretty well frozen too.................. 


Lake Ontario Park was worse than Portsmouth Harbour - as there were only about a half dozen parking spots - and rivers of  winter run off to forge through to get to the lake...... never mind the icy cold wind blowing off the lake............

Not to  be put off by rivers of water or icy cold winds I made my way down to the shore to snap some pics................ 

good lord - just 7 months ago W and I sat here while the grandboys skipped rocks in the water - and walked along the stone "wharf" for lack of a better term..............

That was it for me... with icy fingers and frozen feet I plodded back to the car - eased it out of the parking lot and headed home........... vowing NOT to venture out again until the snow is gone - the ice has melted and the temps are well above 10C.
 

Sunday Sentiments

Spring has Sprung?

For any number of reasons I have not ventured out to the gardens yet this spring... main reason being - they were all still covered in SNOW (which is now a four letter word in this house!!)

BUT baby daughter posted some pics on Facebook of her spring bulbs sprouting through the snow which made me wonder about our bulbs.

Last fall W and I were out shopping at Costco and they had bags and bags filled with bulbs and more bulbs.  So we bought 3 bags (what the HELL was I thinking buying 3 bags??!!)

Anyway................ last fall I planted (squeezed in) all the bulbs we had bought.  Please note that clearly written on the bags (which of course I didn't keep) were the words "squirrel repellant".  So I planted 'em all and smiled smugly knowing that the squirrels wouldn't like them.

Fast forward one day - yeah only one day.  The word was out.  The crazy lady had opened a buffet for squirrels.. rabbits.. and the occasional small raccoon.

As the animals lined up to take their turn digging these delicious delicacies out of the dark earth I stood in the window grinding my teeth and cursing.

I dashed outside and chased them away.  As I turned to walk back in the house I swore I heard them laughing at me - I turned and they were back!!  


I would stand in the front window and bang on the glass trying to scare the squirrels out of my front gardens.  I would run around the back gardens frantically waving my arms like a madwoman to try and keep them out of the gardens and save my bulbs.  

Finally I just collapsed in total defeat and let them eat / devour my "squirrel repellant" bulbs.

So venturing outside this spring to see my bulbs was - I assumed - going to be a lesson in defeat.  BUT curiosity got the better of me.  And  yesterday afternoon - during an April shower (monsoon) I walked around to the front gardens 

Imagine my shock and surprise when I saw this................. 

and this..................

I do believe the secret is planting SO many bulbs the squirrels lose track of them - or some such thing.  Now if these poor baby bulbs can survive the ravishing stampeding herds of starving bunnies  - I may actually get a spring flower or two.