Sometimes we submissives believe the hype - lock stock and barrel. The Dom announces (at one point - or every day - or occasionally) that he is GOD and we must obey
At first it is fun - teasing - and laughter and challenging. BUT if you really want to be a good submissive - and if you are
You (hopefully) have done everything right up to this point. You have vetted this man (ok could be a woman) and you have had gallons of coffee with him and you have even played occasionally with him. He makes your heart skip a beat. He makes you tingle. You get butterflies every time you are going to see him.
Then it starts to get more serious - and you even do the negotiations and the check lists. And then you give him "the gift of your submission"....... (gag me) and now there are no more negotiations. Now it is REAL.
And you slip further and further into your submission. And he slips further and further into his Dominance.
And then one day you wake up and you don't recognise who you are anymore... and you don't much recognise him either.
And when you try and question - when you try to sort out the relationship - you are accused of being a bad submissive. You are accused of not following the rules. You feel like a failure. And you promise to work harder - you BEG to be allowed to try again.
And again
And again.
And then it happens. You realize your limits have been pushed beyond your comfort zone. You are where you never dreamed you would be - and never wanted to be. You don't feel valued. You don't feel listened to. You don't feel respected.
Now you can just walk away - turn your back and walk away - BECAUSE folks - believe it or not - good submissive or not - you do still have free will....... and if it isn't working you CAN just walk away.
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And it can end there..... it can. Or you both can sit down and rationally talk out what went wrong...... and where it went wrong........... and maybe just maybe he will get he is NOT God. And maybe ......just maybe ..... you will stop being a mindless drone........ And maybe just maybe you will both be ready to forget the hype - forget the fairy tale you read on line or in a book and maybe you are both willing to try again - in real life!!
And then real trust and respect will grow. And you will notice a big difference in his mannerisms and demands and you will feel loved and cared for. And hopefully while you are feeling safe and loved and respected you will be giving it back to him 10 fold.
And the foundation that was never very solid before will be reinforced and strong - strong enough to weather the good and the bad. And together you will grow tall and strong in your love and in the Dominance and in the submission.
And then your relationship will be something that makes you both glow from the inside out.
Yes, and sometimes you fall upon a would-be master who follows his own rules and finally you get sick of it all.
ReplyDeleteDo you understand French, Morningstar? In which cas I could give you a very good link about that.
yes ordalie - i speak french
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