In ten days I will get my biopsy results. My stomach has been in knots since I got home from Kingston. It's more than stomach knots - my body is cold - I run home between shifts and lock the door - like I am gonna lock the fear outside - stupid me! My muscles are tight and tensed - my blood pressure is elevated - I can barely eat - I cry at the slightest thing. oh yeah - I am living in fear.
AND I am angry - life is finally turning around for me - and now this!!!??? It makes me bloody angry...............
I have tried all the tricks to cope with this fear - and nothing is working - nothing!
I just have to hang on for 10 days and hope that whatever comes I will find the strength to deal with it
I feel so useless that I can't help you in your time of stress..
ReplyDeleteAll the words in the world can't/won't help you.
Just know that you aren't alone in this.
W
HUGS...you are not alone, although I do realize it very much feels like it. IF you can. write here. lose your self in a movie or good book.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
Hang in there morningstar. You have many friends and readers who are sending good positive thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteI can emphathize with your feelings. A biopsy on my mole come back as a stage 2 malignant melanoma. The 3 weeks I had to wait for surgery to remove it was simply awful. No words can describe the fear and anxiety I felt during that time. I did practice deep breathing to calm myself and then visualized the bad skin cancer cells being attacked and eaten up by good 'protector' cells. Itfelt like I was doing something proactive while waiting for surgery. I tried not to think about how bad it might be or that it might still be growing. Was afraid those negative thoughts would make things worse.
As your Sir W said all the words in the world may not help, just know you are not alone.
Joyce
Just sending hugs...
ReplyDeleteswan
Anything I say sounds trite ..... but just know that there's many people here who care and worry.
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
Thinking of you .....
Thinking of you and sending as much strength as I can. You WILL get through these days, it's the waiting that is so difficult. In my experience we can deal with concrete things we can't deal with unknowns. I hope tomorrow is a reasonable day - it will at least be one less to wait.
ReplyDeleteAna
Hoping for the best, hang in there.
ReplyDeletePrefectdt
Hugs and good thoughts - I hope things go well.
ReplyDeleteSending positive energy your way!
ReplyDelete