Once upon a time .......... a long long time ago.......... I left everything I knew to start a new life. At that time I believed the fairy tale that we would live happily ever after. But the wicked witch kicked me to the street and left me shivering in the cold of the harsh real world...
Twenty years later and I still haven't fully recovered financially (or it would seem emotionally) from that fairy tale.
And I am so scared - it frightens me (does that make sense?) All the what if's keep running through my mind....... waking me up at night in cold sweats... my world as I know it is coming to an end....... by my hand... my planning...and I am gonna step off the edge of my world and hope against hope that there will be something to catch me when I land...........i will be basically penniless and homeless....... nothing to fall back on.........
and that is very scary indeed.
Not "something" to catch you but "someone" Your Sir.
ReplyDeletePS: Always have a backup plan in the deepest recesses of your mind. It will cancel out the scary thoughts.
Joyce
"i will be basically penniless and homeless....... nothing to fall back on........."
ReplyDeleteIt seems something drastic and terrifying has happened over the last few days. What is it?
Once upon a time a White Knight in a red car ( hey this is the 21st Century ) came driving along and took this fair damsel to a safe place ( even with a small kitchen ) where they lived happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteWell that is what He is hoping for too as He too stepped off His world of certainty...
W
It leaves you with a cold, twisted, lonely feeling in the pit of your stomach - and knowing thousands of others share the same feeling. When the economy crashed the preparations and plans of so many went up in smoke.
ReplyDeleteAbout all you can do is try to minimize the damage, do what you can do to prepare it and not panic. There's nothing gained from crossing bridges you may never have to cross.
A very long time ago, I had the home that I loved foreclosed out from under me. I landed, after it was all over and done with, in a nasty, cramped, ugly, sad little rental with my two young kids, and the hubby (who was good hearted but not much help). One night, overwhelmed by it all, I sat alone with tears running down my cheeks. Suddenly, my young son, just 6 years old, came out of his bedroom and caught me crying. He asked me why I was sad, and I told him that I felt bad that we didn't have our nice house anymore. He looked at me with his serious, little boy eyes, and said, "Anywhere we are together, we are at home, Mommy." He nodded sagely and padded back to bed. I just sat there holding my breath. Magic like that needs to be honored and valued.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that you and W have exactly what you need to be "at home." Go and live the dream you have held onto for so long. Your worries won't protect you from disaster if it is stalking you. They might, however, keep you from enjoying the joys that ought to be yours in this adventure.
All the best,
swan
Well said Buffalo, better than how I said it :-((
ReplyDeleteactually Sir i think you said it very well indeed - romantically too :) White Knight in a red car - made me giggle.............
ReplyDeleteto everyone else - thank you for your support and caring....... i just find it very difficult to be one of the "statistics" that i read about in the papers............
ReplyDeleteIt feels impossible to not think that way in order to make yourself feel safe or at least realistic but I can see through my own recent doings that when you think like that all the time you are inviting it in. I sure hope things turn around. :)
ReplyDelete