Monday, October 18, 2010

Fevered thoughts

Ok so this weekend I over ate .. and over ate spicy foods.... this does not make for a happy stomach. So I am home with a low grade fever and feverish thoughts rolling round and round..

On Saturday night Warren and I went out to a munch and play party. I was asked if I was submissive. I said no.. I was a masochist. I was a little surprised at the reaction around the table. One male slave finally said (as though he really needed to define me) "So you are a masochist bottom" ok.. if that makes you happy I am a masochist bottom.........

He was an uncollared slave... Warren and I drove him to the play party. He carried the toy bags out of the car for Warren and once inside opened up the bags and hung the toys for easy reach. Warren mumbled that he missed having a submissive/slave. That kind of tugged at my heart strings..... and I am not so stupid to think that the day won't come when Warren will go looking for a submissive/slave.

But then yesterday in one of my more cognitive moments I went on line to read my blogs. And swan wrote a blog entry that was right up there with my questioning all this D/s M/s stuff.. she ended her writing with a very sad "I just don't know. I just do not know."

It made me feel sad.. for swan and for Warren. They both believed - really believed... in the M/s D/s dynamic. And now they are trying to re-invent how life will be.

I am at a point that I think there may be a mid way of doing things. Warren and I were discussing it (at least I think we were discussing it yesterday - honestly everything is a little hazy) and Warren pointed out that there are all sorts of folks out there in the big wide world who do it 24/7 ....... and we know some of them in real life.

Why does it work so well for some folks and not so well for others???? I am thinking some of it has to do with the power dynamics... if the submissive stays home and relies on the Master for everything.. that it is a little easier to do the M/s D/s all the time...

For me .. the D/s didn't work (I think) because I went out to work every single day. I have a position of some authority. It got more and more difficult to leave that persona at work ..........

I am wondering if there can be some sort of half way D/s relationship.... I am wondering if there is a way to please everyone. It's called compromise... and I always thought it was a very important part of every relationship........

stay tuned..... who knows I may just come up with something.......... after the fever subsides - or not.. LOL


  1. I am KNOT unhappy with not having you as a submissive/slave!! I can't and won't talk for swan ( I too feel sorry for her right now ) but I am KNOT looking for a submissive/slave now or in the future unless you are planning on leaving permanently!!

    I was just saying I enjoyed someone else (BDSM or Vanilla) carrying the toy bags instead of Me.


  2. The only people who need to be pleased are yourself and Warren.
    The two of you will figure it all out.
    I believe in you. :)


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