Half 'n Half

ok......... so i have been doing battle with some ........ ummm.. demons? Yay - that's a good word for it........ demons.

Most of the demons were brought on by winter blahs....... i absolutely hate winter!! i should have been born in a warm southern climate where i never have to face a day below 30C. But i wasn't.....i was born in the Great White North and should have adjusted by now....... but i haven't. Come end of January beginning of February i fluctuate between wanting to chew my own limbs off ........ to wanting to (and sometimes actually doing it) chewing someone's head off.

Then March arrives - like a lion or a lamb - i don't much care. First off i get a whole week off from work .......and March is.. in my mind anyway ........ the beginning of the end to another long dreary dark winter.

Two weeks ago - when i was smack dab in the deepest bit of the darkness of the winter blahs......... Sir - sitting across from me at dinner - says innocently........ "Best friend's birthday party is March 1st. I know you can't come cause you have work the next day........." and i replied - "ohhhhhhhhhh i am on break - i can come!!"

The rest of that conversation is a bit of a blur.......... but it was something about the Best Friend having this 'crush' on this woman......... and how Best Friend suggested that seeing as i couldn't go to the birthday party - Sir might bring another "date" - the date being this woman Best Friend has a crush on. (ok ok so are you all confused yet??)

My urge to chew something off came raging to the forefront. Sir ducked skillfully and just managed to save His head - though there were a few nips and scratches and bruises.

The words that kept (keep) going round in my head ...... "another date"...... HUH?? a DATE?? what does that make me ??? a casual date that can be replaced at a moment's notice??? After almost nine years i am still a DATE???

Now i realize all of this was not Sir's fault.......... He didn't suggest it.. Best Friend did.......... and i also realize that men do not see things or feel things the same way a woman does.............. and .. now this incident is really all water under the bridge..... cause i had my fit......... wrote long emotional emails to Sir... most of it emotional garbage ........ but Sir kept murmuring all the right words and eventually my blood lust subsided and things were ok ...... again.

But it conflicted badly with my belief system ...... my BDSM belief system. i am sub.... do i or don't i get a say in who Sir sees or doesn't see.. etc etc..... does the vanilla half of our life together have anything to do with the BDSM half?? and how in god's name does one separate the two???

Anyway.... i really didn't want to get into all that....... what i set out to talk about was the task Sir set for me last night while he was off at Best Friend's birthday party. (ok ok.. yes i am on March break.. and yes i could have gone..... but way back when i was in the deep end of the winter blahs..... i decided i needed to clean up some rooms around here - and i did need to !!! - and i would stay home - and yeah yeah.. a part of that rational was because i was hurt and angry with Best Friend and didn't want to have to see him never mind wish him a Happy Birthday)

So - the task.

It was to put the clamps on my pussy ........ masturbate and cum 2 times ...... and text message Sir that it was done.

In no way did i feel the least bit like masturbating last night after i had finished all the cleaning.... from waxing floors to washing clothes to washing ceiling and walls in the bathroom and finishing up the reading room...... no way no how !! For all of 2 seconds i contemplated texting Sir and saying i had done it...... "liar liar pants on fire" !!! 2 seconds......... that's all it took ......... cause i don't lie.........

So sometime after i had had my dinner and rested up... i went upstairs and found the damn clamps and the wonderful amazing spectacular hitachi with attachments... and settled down on the bed for my task.

For whatever reason i had a devil of a time getting the clamps on....... and ..... getting them to stay on......i almost .... ALMOST ....... gave in and went to find the clovers when they clamped on and stayed...... (thank god ...... cause i am not sure i am ready for the clovers !! it has been way too long)

And then i started with the hitachi....... my pussy burned hot from the clamps.. which is kinda / sorta weird.......... sorta makes my pussy feel like it feels when i am (way back when - doesn't happen anymore) so horny i am climbing the walls. Must be all the blood collecting there around the clamps.

And then it was .... off to the races so to speak. i am enjoying the vibrations from the hitachi...... really getting into it.. almost forgot the damn clamps.. until i moved..... lifted my hips slightly to get a better angle with the hitachi......... and the chain from the clamps swung ever so slightly and hit my ass..... and oh dear god !!! cum???? there has to be a better word for it.......... yeah i came....... gushing and squirting...... from the light touch of a chain tickling my ass............ i could "see" what it looked like from the bottom of the bed....... and it was HOT !! The second orgasm came quickly on the heels of the first.....

And when it was over and the clamps were off and i was lying there on the bed all hot and sweaty and drippy i thought how much better this had been ...... then sitting around a table with people who don't GET the half n'half life i live and making small talk .