Thursday, July 24, 2008

done to death

i do believe i have done "cunts" to death.. and yeah yeah i know i only did 2 posts - but it seems to be one more post than was needed.. i should have stuck with my original proclamation of "Celebrate Cunt Day"

Though... to be honest... there appears to be a whole mess of folks out there that want to read about cunts cause my numbers went through the roof the last couple of days... or maybe it was just the juicy pictures i posted of cunts that brought in the readership..... who knows??

i do know though that now cunt day / week is over around here the numbers will go back down.. and thank the lord for that !!! The responsibility of keeping that many people entertained.. amused and aroused was getting to me !!!

So on to more mundane things.... like geez i have to clean the house today rather than spend my day drooling over naked cunts.. (oooooops right i wasn't gonna mention cunts today)

Yeah i have to clean - which explains why i am on here rambling about nothing much at all.. i don't much like cleaning.. though i do like it cleaned.. (ok ok this is sounding more and more like a summer rerun)

i have been thinking about stuff recently...... a whole mess of stuff.. mostly work based.. which probably means "my" summer vacation is drawing to a close - 3 more weeks then back i go.......

swan, Buffalo and i have talked more than once about friendships.. especially on line friendships and how the word "friend" is bandied about..... what makes a friend?? Does it happen overnight?? ever had someone walk into your life and you just know that person is gonna be your friend forever???

Lucky you.

i am not like that.. not even close.. i am selfish and eccentric - i like my alone time... i like my space. i am verging on being reclusive and i know it.. and i embrace it.. it is a choice i make. i am pretty damn sure when the day finally comes that i can retire.. i will be the happiest person on earth - because i can come home .. close the door.. and be by myself.

i have thought about this for some time now.. why is it i don't feel the need to have people around me.. have friends calling .. going out for coffee and dinner and social events with friends?? Maybe the reason is i spend much of my year surrounded by people.. chattering, nagging, crying, whining, begging, pouting people....... and it exhausts me.

Twenty some years ago when i first started out in the public school system.. i had a principal who was doing the yearly evaluation ... and i got high marks on everything except one thing......... diplomacy. He and i talked about that a lot.. and yeah i have improved vastly with my diplomacy skills - otherwise i probably wouldn't be doing the job i do today.......... BUT........ inside?? i am so not diplomatic. You beat your kid?? well stop it damn it.. just stop it.. You are the adult You make the choices .. so stop it !!! (i wouldn't get very far with that attitude would i?? )

Anyway.. getting back to friends.. they take work ..and i am lazy.. i don't like talking on the phone unless there is something to say.. i don't like writing emails for much the same reason.. i have something to say and you need to hear it.. i will write or call...

A friend for me is someone who knows all my faults and likes me because of them... and despite of them. A friend for me is someone who understands my reclusive nature and accepts it.. A friend for me is someone i can turn to when i really need to talk and know they will be there.. much the same as if they really needed to talk i would be there.. but all the crap in between?? not my style...

And so it is that i do not have a lot of friends.. i could probably count them on .. ummm.. 2 fingers.

Today i am asking myself why i feel the need to apologize for not having masses of friends or welcoming masses of people as my friend...... these web sites that allow you to add a friend........ add a friend?? half the people who make that request of me i don't even know !!! geeeeez.. couldn't they find a better term than 'friend'??

Someone told me the other day that i was fun.. care free.. self confident.. and i honestly wondered who they were describing... cause you know what?? that just isn't me. Oh i can be a damn good hostess when i need to be.. i can laugh and play with the best of them.. and then can't wait to run home .. close the door.. and shut the world out.

i want / need to set the record straight here.. i am just like everyone else out there.. i have my doubts.. my insecurities.. my 'baggage'.. my crap from childhood.. just like everyone else....... BUT i made a deal with myself a long long time ago that i was gonna be this tough old bird....... who faced life head on.. cause i learned at a really young age.. ain't no one gonna be there forever for you....... only you......... so you had better become best friends with yourself.

And so i became my best friend........... and (you gotta know this one is coming) my cunt is my best friend too.. we share so much together... intimate moments with the vibrator that no one else can equal (well ok ok.. Sir can not only equal it but surpass it - but that doesn't count) i once told my daughter to forget about men pleasing her sexually - she should learn to please herself first.. get to know her cunt !!! i did.. and it was the best damn friend i ever made.......

And now for sure. .cunt week is done to death...... for me.........

1 comment:

  1. Excellent essay. Both thoughtful and thought provoking.


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