Monday, August 01, 2016

Emotions


Saturday was an awful day -- absolutely awful.  'Hands' had told me we would have private time on Sunday...... and all day Saturday I was sure something was going to happen to cancel our time together.  

Sunday morning I think I held my breath until I got the message that he was on the road heading my way.  I don't think I have ever been such a bundle of pent up emotions and need........... 

I have said before -- not long ago -- that I thought I was going to implode -- though I really didn't have any idea what that would look like.......... I think I do now.... 

At one point I just dissolved in tears -- my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest... there were so many emotions --  pain pleasure (of course) but also gratitude - huge amounts of gratitude and fear that I wouldn't "measure up" ........ 

Thankfully 'Hands' has big strong arms and no fear of melting from unexpected tears......

Today I am more focused -- and a whole lot less needy -- but still very very grateful for 'Hands' and his amazing sharing wife.

(oh and if anybody is wondering -- I did get to sit on 'Hands' lap  - cross #1 off the "to do list" )



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