Slice and Dice

I must be a masochist -- who loves knife play -- I must be!!!

Once a month I take a knife and slice another little piece of myself  and lay it on the table and poke it and prod it and sometimes even dice it into smaller bits.

Sometimes it fucking hurts ya know?

And then I drive home shaking and sometimes crying and I sleep most of the afternoon 

and then I go back next month

Today I asked why ?? why do I keep going back ?? why do I keep slicing myself up for inspection?? 

And the answer is simple really

because I will NOT let the bastards win !