Saturday was an awful day -- absolutely awful. 'Hands' had told me we would have private time on Sunday...... and all day Saturday I was sure something was going to happen to cancel our time together.
Sunday morning I think I held my breath until I got the message that he was on the road heading my way. I don't think I have ever been such a bundle of pent up emotions and need...........
I have said before -- not long ago -- that I thought I was going to implode -- though I really didn't have any idea what that would look like.......... I think I do now....
At one point I just dissolved in tears -- my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest... there were so many emotions -- pain pleasure (of course) but also gratitude - huge amounts of gratitude and fear that I wouldn't "measure up" ........
Thankfully 'Hands' has big strong arms and no fear of melting from unexpected tears......
Today I am more focused -- and a whole lot less needy -- but still very very grateful for 'Hands' and his amazing sharing wife.
(oh and if anybody is wondering -- I did get to sit on 'Hands' lap - cross #1 off the "to do list" )
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