Tuesday, September 29, 2009

angry


Ever have one of those days when you are so angry your emotions just spill over ... in inappropriate ways???

i get angry and i cry........ how dumb is that??!! And it makes it really difficult for people to understand that i am angry.. it "looks" like i am sad. Maybe it would be better if my face got red and i balled up my fists and yelled.. (much like my lil Christopher Robin did last week)

yeah i am angry today..........

i am angry over work.. over a stupid useless employee who is getting away with murder.. and there is no immediate recourse... i like "immediate".. i like instantaneous !! i want results YESTERDAY .........

But no............ we have to be civilized about this.. we have to try and reason with this person.. we have to write letters.. we have to smile and nod.. and listen to her promise to behave herself.. like she did last year.

i get to do damage control every time she makes a mistake...... mistake my ass !!! Deliberate undermining of my authority is what it is !!

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And i am angry over people's impressions of what i want / need. i am fed up .. to the eye teeth with people accusing me (well that's how i take it !!) of moving on and leaving the BDSM community here in our lil city .. and going further afield. YAY?? so bite me !! Tell me why Sir and i shouldn't go where we are welcomed and be with people who have the same mind set...... huh?? why shouldn't we???

i am tired of people analyzing the way we "do" what it is we do. i am sick to death of subs trying to top from the bottom and telling Sir what He should or should not do. i am sick to death of people saying mean spirited things about our relationship. i am sick to death of people thinking they can do it so much better than WE do it !! i am sick to death of people thinking that i am unhappy .. or settling.. or whatever it is they think i am doing.

i am angry.........

and i am crying..........

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

{{{HUGSSSSS}}}....i read many blogs..yours is one of the few i occasionally post on....you and your Sir, are such an inspiration and ray of hope for me..when i start to get angry and cry..i reread some of your blogs...remember...the only thing that counts...is you and your Sir,,,abby

selkie said...

tell ya what, when I get into town we'll go and beat up some wanna'be's ... are we on?

seriously though, another thing in common. When I get pissed I cry - and yeah, people then do NOT take you seriously. It is an involuntary physical reaction to anger and rage damn it - I would control it if I could.

Screw those people who say mean thing s- ultimately it often comes down, quite simply, to ENVY and JEALOUSY.

xoxoxo

BlazngScarlet said...

*sigh*
I too cry when I'm pissed off.
I hate it.

As for anyone elses opinion of you, your life or you and Sir ... well, I won't sully your lovely blog with the words I have for those people.

I have learned so much from you over the last couple years, and as Abby said, you're an inspiration.

Chin up darl!

Florida Dom said...

There's nothing wrong with crying if it makes you feel better. It may even be good for you. Let it all out. And don't worry about other people think or say. Do what's good for you and your Sir.

FD

Andrew said...

Anything I can do?

butterfly said...

I'm with everyone else: The madder I get, the worse I cry. I hate it, though I guess it's better than the alternative - uncontrollable rage.

The best thing to do with people is to ignore them. You two have an awesome relationship and you both seem very happy with it. And that's all that matters.

I'm sure time will take care of your issues at work...probably not as fast as you'd like, but eventually. (Not much help, is it? I'm sorry.)

Hugs to you.
butterfly

swan said...

Awwwwwe... It is easy to know how you are feeling -- that "why the heck can't people just leave us alone if they can't understand and celebrate us?" feeling. I hope it will end up being enough that some of us do get it and some of us do value the friendship of you and your Sir. For all the others, whatever else they may be, they are truly of no consequence in your life or on your blog.

hugs, swan

Dae said...

/hugs
If you need to vent remember you can always call.

Lypiphera said...

Hope you don't mind me leaving a comment here I've read a little bit of your blog and felt the need to comment.

I'm also a cryer and it drives me mad no end! I sometimes wish I could let out the anger in a way people would understand because somehow I think that would make it feel more justified?

But instead I find myself in hopeless tears! Silly as it sounds I don't think I actually know how to be angry and the one time I managed to hold it together enough to get the screaming out I startled myself so much I shut up and hurled some washing pegs about instead.... and then burst into tears... bravo me *blush*!

Anyho I just wanted to post because although your later posts are calmer I wanted to say that from what I have read I think that your relationship is a beautiful, wonderful thing and people who say otherwise are so wrapped up in their own self hate and so tied down by society's expectants I doubt they will ever know the true deep abiding love you have, which is terrible thing.

So I pity them, on your behalf for not being better people and I hope your tears helped a little. (Although by the looks of it those lovely flowers a few posts above certainly might have, lucky gal :P!)

xxx