For so many years I kept my life looking normal to anyone looking in.... my life wasn't 'normal' by society's standards - but it was my life and I loved it... craved it.
Then I moved here -- to Sir Steve and I wasn't gonna have to work so hard to keep it looking normal....... no one knew me here -- my kids already know about choice of lifestyle ..... things were gonna be easier.
There have been a lot of adjustments....... with the lil one ... then Sir Steve starting his company and then deciding to find full time work ...... I have been relying heavily on my service side....... cooking cleaning etc. to satisfy my submissive side. Stress and exhaustion has been high on everyone's agenda.
AND just when I think things are quietening down and maybe - just maybe - we can get back to some sort of BDSM normalcy around here something else pops up..... right now it's a leaky basement that threatens to turn the basement into an indoor swimming pool... I am tired of the musty wet smell ..... I am tired of dealing with the landlord and all the contractors and plumbers that come in with possible solutions.
I am tired of normalcy...... ya know?
Tonite we have 'meet the teacher'... this weekend is closing the trailer... next week I am busy planning a 6th birthday party for the lil one and her friends..... then it's Thanksgiving.. then it's my yearly cancer check ........... normalcy has taken over our lives..........
Maybe it's time to pack away the toys and my fantasies of BDSM and just love this man I call Sir Steve in the vanilla world......... nodding ... yeah maybe it's time.
It's complicated. It's all just complicated. But it's also just a part of who we are and even when we are in the vanilla world (where, to be honest, me and my love spend most of our time) there is an element of TTWD that is simply there. It's in a look, or a touch, or even a small action. It's mostly about the relationship and communication more than one big "thing" that happens. We all go through phases. Hang in there and be there in the moment and let life happen. Mostly, be well and be happy ;)
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