Friday, April 06, 2012

Communicate communicate communicate.

We are always saying that communication is SO important in BDSM relationships...... but ya know... good communication skills are important in all walks of life - in all types of relationships.  (hell forget GOOD communication - any communication is better than none !!)

I have been following my new work to rule this past week.......... and as much as I have been doing JUST my job - things have not gone all that well........... 

Let's take a wee look at my week........ 
1)  a child took a small fall in the school yard - I patched him up and sent him to class - ONLY to get called into the principal's office and get reamed for not calling his mother - informing the main office and his teacher.  WHY - because he is epileptic oh yeah?? no one thought to tell me - first example of lack of communication
2) Parent comes to pick up child - throws a hissy fit at my staff because he is outside playing - turns out he had split his head open in class - his mother explained she was on the way - but as she was in town - wouldn't make it before the bell - asked the office to inform me and for me to keep him inside until she could get there - they "forgot" to tell me - second example of lack of communication
3)  An hysterical mother showed up in my office at 4:30 because her 5 year old didn't get off the bus.......... she had called the main office but no one had answered - they had left early that day - BEFORE the buses had finished their routes (against the rules) so she had no one to turn to but me............ turns out - for some unknown reason his teacher decided to send him to daycare for the afternoon !!!  third example of lack of communication and total stupidity.
4)Two children were sent into me for a scuffle during a game of soccer - they told me that they had really been playing rugby (against the rules as no contact is allowed in any games!)  I put ice on the child's head and had them eat lunch with me - together.  I called the mom (cause we have to call for all head injuries) and she came to get him.  Turns out that it was not a soccer or rugby scuffle - but a down and dirty fight - where the injured child had gotten the shit beat out of him - my staff didn't think to mention that to me until AFTER the mother's irate phone call - fourth example of lack of communication skills
5)One of my employees walked in on Thursday afternoon handed me a doctor's note and is now off on long term sick leave - starting immediately - I have to find a replacement NOW - she didn't think to even hint there was something wrong - fifth example of poor communication skills

My principal took me to task on Thursday afternoon - about the foul ups this week...... I sat there with my mouth open ........... then closed my mouth and bit my tongue I was so close to losing it....... totally and completely losing it........ and that wouldn't accomplish anything.  When she was finished blowing off steam - I pointed out to her that not ONE of the incidents was because I didn't do my job the way I am supposed to...... that all of the incidents were due to lack of proper communication between her staff and myself.. and my staff and myself................. 

Which leaves me wondering if I am difficult to talk to ????  My mother drummed into me the whole world can't be wrong and me be right........... so I am left wondering what is wrong with ME....... that no one is telling me stuff.......... am I not a good listener?? I always thought that was the one thing I did do well......... but this new work to rule campaign of mine seems to have made me a whole lot less accessible to folks.......

Whatever the cause - whoever is to blame - the thing that gets me the most - hurts me the most - is in the end - the children are the ones who are getting hurt ........... and I have vowed (in my heart) to always - no matter what !!! - put the kiddies first. And I have failed.  And that breaks my heart.  


  1. It would seem to Me ( and I am very sure others too ) that you haven't forgotten the kids and maybe it is about time a Certain person have a LONG talk to someone's Boss about things!!!

    So you HAVEN'T failed the kids, but the system you work for HAS!!


  2. Anonymous8:57 am

    Please listen to what W communicated to you...not your failure. God, I'm so happy to be out of the educational system. Appears a staff meeting would be in order to review expected behaviors when 'things' such as you described happen. Never hurts to remind them. These are just a few of the reasons I NEVER had ambition to become a principal. Curriculm resource teacher/asst principal was more than enough stress.

    Again morningstar, you communicate quite well in your blog so I can't imagine you don't communicate well orally! Hang in there.


  3. Communcation has to be a 2 way street, you are not to blame. Warren gives good advice. abby

  4. lol i think we were having the same week, though most of my miscommunications were with my supervisor. i don't understand why people do not think to convey some things. my supervisor largely believs that "perception" is everything....which makes me laugh becuase she only values her own perception. We all have them and need to share them, so that we get somewhere near the truth :)

    And my two cents on the Dr. Note empolyee? This is treacherous ground, on many levels, and some things are not easier to share. i don't know the situation though, just food for thought....feel free to yell me, oh cheeky one :)

  5. newgirl - i think i was most upset that she didn't feel comfortable enough to come to me... it's like i failed her somehow.. though that is an emotional response and i know a silly one.... it's just how i feel and i can't shake it..

  6. alyson8:55 am

    I'm in agreement with Warren. None of the communication issues were on your side. In fact, with the exception of the last one which might have an actual reason (I'll get into my view on that one below), they involve people withholding important information from you for no reason. Even if you were difficult to talk to (and I doubt you are), the first 4 communication fails are not things where "easy to talk to" should have any baring on the facts being told. I don't see why your "working to rule" plan should have factored in at all, either. I think it's worth it for your staff to get used to standing on their own feet. It should make them better at their jobs in the long run.

    As far as the woman with the note from her doctor:
    As someone who worked while having serious health problems I know I was always very reticent to tell my employers or superiors anything before I absolutely had to. This wasn't a matter of being comfortable, it was a matter of not opening myself up for being fired. It may be illegal to fire someone due to disability or illness (in the US), but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen in ways where it's impossible to prove that was the reason. While I highly doubt that any of my bosses would have actually done so, I always felt like it was better to play it safe, especially if I didn't have medical documentation yet. I did disclose anything that might directly impact my job, as long as I knew I had a doctor who would back me up. It's also completely possible that with whatever is going on with your employee, she didn't know the doctor would want her to go on long-term sick leave and she thought she was fine working. I don't think it has anything to do with you personally, but I'd say of the communication problems, it's the one I most understand.

  7. @alyson - good last point about health issues - except this woman is retiring in June and doesn't need to worry about being fired.. (hell if it comes down to it - after all these years with this Board - I am under the impression that it would take killing a kid to get fired!! - just my jaded point of view of course )


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