Oddities

 Every Christmas I usually get 1 if not 2 or 3 calendars.  This year I didn't get any !!!


So during the Christmas break I went looking for a calendar.  Now you have to understand - W found an oriental calendar a few years back and now I can't have any other sort of calendar.  So after Christmas when I went out to get a 2011 calendar - I had quite a challenge....... there were no oriental ones that I could find.


Finally in the last shop - at the very back - buried under a pile of calendars was "my" calendar.  I quickly glanced at the pictures - not really seeing them - it was an oriental calendar and that was all that mattered!!!


So I brought it home and hung it proudly in my home office over my desk.  Now you have to understand - mostly I check outlook calendar for my appointments, tasks and dates.... I don't actually WRITE on the calendar on the wall.  It is more like a piece of artwork........ except this calendar...........

 

I noticed a month or so ago..... that for some stupid reason the weekend wasn't split with Saturday on the far right side and Sunday on the left side..,. with the days of the week filling in the middle.  NO no .. my calendar had the weekend days together on the far right side.  It was a bit confusing... but I didn't give it much thought.  


A week ago I realized that when I glance at the calendar (which I have discovered I do every morning) that I was getting confused.  My brain is used to the weekends being split up...... so when it was actually Tuesday I was thinking it was Monday...... which might explain some of my confusion over what day it was........ (that's my story and I am sticking to it !!)


Anyway - this morning I realized the little calendar hidden under a pile of other calendars is misprinted.  The numbers on the far right side and the left side are coloured red - to separate them from the rest of the numbers/days of the week.  Only thing is.. (are you following this??) The number on the far right side - is red - and is Sunday.  The number on the left side is red and is MONDAY.


So yeah I am sticking to my story that this calendar is causing my confusion over what damn day it is!!!  As you can see.. if you look closely at the picture at the top... I have written in the days of the week and separated the weekend from Monday - Friday - I love oddities until they start playing mind games on me!!!

RSVPing

The other day I made an off hand cheeky  comment about how clean my house is....... and it is ......... for the most part.

BUT ..........

I have a bathroom downstairs in the basement.  A bathroom that had been locked and inaccessible when W had his train setup in the basement.  A bathroom that has not been cleaned for years.......... YEARS!! 

When the train set got moved back to W's last spring..... I opened the door and nearly died - the spider webs were thick - just like in some horror film.  You had to brush them apart to even enter the room.  It was disgusting.

Now being the clean freak I am - you'd think I would have been in there with javel and rubber gloves scrubbing it from top to bottom.

You'd be wrong.

I just couldn't face the cobwebs - the dirt - and the fact the toilet never worked properly in there anyway.

So I closed the door on the dirt and webs and ......just let it go.

It has been another year of spiders spinning and dirt collecting.........

And then drakor invited dominants in the area to use his services for a 2 day period on his blog. 

I thought about it for a few days....... discussed it with W....... then emailed drakor to get some specifics. 

He is coming tomorrow to clean the downstairs bathroom - in slave mode.  (yeah yeah I can hear my frequent readers saying "oh no here we go again"! For those of you not in the know - so to speak - I did try domming drakor a few years back.  Let's just say it didn't turn out as well as any of us had hoped)

But I am thinking this is a bit different......... this isn't really for him........ I am just accepting his offer of service for 2 days (hopefully it won't take that long to get the bathroom cleaned) AND I certainly know what I want from him as far as cleaning goes. 

So all I have to do is add a little twist or two to make him feel in slave mode...... and I get a clean (and hopefully working) bathroom again! 

The only drawback I see - is what the hell do I DO while he is slaving away naked in the basement........ hopefully the sun will be out - then I think I will busy myself in the gardens.  Slaves really should be ignored - except when it is white glove inspection time........ right??

The ants go marching

OR 

All you ever needed to know about ants - but never bothered to ask............or truthfully never cared about

I googled (thank god for google) what to do about an ant invasion............. 

Find their entry point - well after hours of searching - I still have NO idea!!


Lay down poison ....... unless of course you have small children or pets - well no poison in my house.....


In lieu of poison - use all purpose spray cleaners (windex is what I used yesterday - when I found that yucky swarming mass of baby ants) 


First spray the ants - then clean up their carcasses - then re-spray the area and wipe - as ants leave a scent for their friends and family to follow.


Stay alert and do this every time you see an ant marching through the house... because as the song goes - the ants go marching one by one hurray hurray  - the ants go marching two by two hurray hurray - the ants go marching three by three - well you get the idea!

Keep your house clean - ants love a dirty house....... sheesh - I think my ants took a wrong turn somewhere cause honestly I don't know how much cleaner I can keep my house !!

Find their ant hill outside - which I will do just as soon as it stops raining long enough to stick my nose out the door !!!! and poison the ant hill (have done that many many times - every spring I think - and they just keep rebuilding.  Industrious stupid lil buggers !!!


So I have been spraying and wiping and spraying some more this morning... found one cheeky bugger climbing up my arm - he's dead trust me!!  Miss Ashes - unlike her brother Squirt - sits perched on the top of the wing back chair in the living room yelping at me to get rid of the monster invasion!!! (Squirt used to eat anything that moved in the house - and stuff that didn't)

My Sunday morning news show gave me a reason to be thankful though...... next week they are discussing bed bugs........ I guess my ant invasion isn't so bad in comparison.........

AND 

thanks to google I even found a recipe for chocolate covered ants IF I feel so inclined:

Ingredients:

Servings: 8

• 1742 large ants (if they are small, use 2,044)
• 3 cups melted chocolate

Directions:

Prep Time: 16 1/2 days
Total Time: 16 1/2 days

1. Catch ants at a picnic site and keep them in a glass jar to which you have added a teaspoon of sugar to keep them happy.
2. (Unhappy ants are liable to go sour before processing.) At home, pick up each ant with tweezers and remove entrails with a small, very sharp knife edge.
3.  This will take about 400 hours.
4. If you are in a hurry, eliminate this step; you'll never know the difference.
5. Dip each ant into melted chocolate and place to drain on waxed paper.
6. If any of them are still able to crawl off the paper, let them go-- be a good sport

Chocolate anyone???

Big Yuck

All spring I have seen these bits of dirt in corners around the house.... especially in the guest bathroom on the main level.  I kept sweeping them up .. or mopping them up... or just swiping at it with my stocking feet.

Today I walked into the living room and saw this mound in the middle of the floor between the living room and the dining room.  I thought cat puke or something similar but when I went to look it was moving!!!!  YUCK!!!!!!!!!  

It was a mound of swarming baby ants!!!

Now how did I manage to get a swarming bunch of baby ants in the middle of my house...... not near a window or door.  YUCK!

So I grabbed the window cleaner - cause honestly I didn't have a clue what else to grab and sprayed and wiped.  Then I looked around and there were ants all over the damn place.  They all got sprayed and wiped.  

I checked the kitchen....... nothing.  I checked the pantry .......nothing.  I checked window ledges and doors.......nothing.   Just in the living room.  In the middle of the house.  YUCK!!!

Now my skin is itchy and I swear I feel ants running over my body...... I HATE bugs.  They are ok outside..... but not EVER in my house.  

I am now officially neurotic.

Feeling Good

When I first recovered from the surgery and all the damn complications....... everyone that saw me kept saying how good I looked - how skinny.  It felt really good - for once in my life I was actually flattered,

Well it has been 2 months since those days,  I am still measuring myself once a week (don't weigh myself - haven't got a set of scales - because I obsess over the numbers on the scale) and the inches are still slowly disappearing ( a quarter of an inch at a time) But the complements have stopped - and so they should.  I am thinner it is a fact and no longer necessary to tell me.

But yesterday I went shopping for a pair of pants.  (Because the pair I bought somehow got ruined with bleach like spots).  While I was at the shop I saw a cute - really cute - lil black strapless dress.  AND everyone knows that every woman should have at least one cute lil black dress.  So I decided to try it on.

When I came out of the changing room the clerk said to me 'you need a smaller size' !!!  I thought I was walking on air........ those were the nicest words anyone could say to me.. a smaller size..... wow !!!

The other amazing thing...... if you can follow this bouncing ball....... W loved me in dresses - but the bigger I got - the less I wore dresses, until  I didn't wear one ever.  Yesterday when I put the dress on....... I realized it did look good on me ..... and it isn't long .. and it isn't big and flowing - it is actually fitted..... and it looked good on me.

I was thinking on my way home that I don't need any other incentive to keep the weight off - or to lose the last 20 pounds - just feeling good in my clothes is enough.. just being able to buy clothes off the rack ...... being able to wear a fitted dress knowing how much it will please W ......... all internal personal reasons.  No more trying to lose weight for someone else.. the feelings inside me are all the drive I need..... and boy does that feel good !!! 

Issues

I know this isn't a new topic around here.......... but obviously it is one that really "frosts my britches" !!!  It happened Saturday evening at the event W and I were at....... and I thought if I just ignored the whole episode - I would calm down.

BUT it is Thursday - and it is still rankling me.

This domme that I know came over to say her "hellos" ........ and chat a bit.  The conversation soon got around to ......... "Did you know??" (she asked) " That there are 3 fractures happening in the community?"

Oh Wow !!!  Imagine that........... fractures in our lil community???!!!  Who would have thunk it???

No one except me.  (it would seem)

I smiled and nodded a lot.  Some people just like to look/feel/be at the center of the politics ...... I am definitely not one of them.

These fractures have been going on since Jesus walked on earth for god's sakes.  They happen in the work place...... they happen in vanilla social circles ....... they ...... just... happen!!!  get over it........ get over yourself.  You aren't gonna fix them.... Just leave well enough alone. 

I managed to steer the conversation away from the infighting and onto "well W and I don't go out to all the events - we pick and chose our favourites"  She jumped right in and said that the V club was gone........... and I answered "yes .......but they are just moving (so I read) and will be back in September" (not that I much cared - as it has turned into a sex everywhere type of club and I told her so ..............and said that W and I were not interested in participating in that aspect of BDSM or in being (feeling like) peeping Toms)  She then nodded sagely - and hinted it might not be back.  I did an internal shrug but asked the question I thought she was dying for me to ask...... "Why not!!"  Well then the conversation got all vague and secretive... "she has a child you know.. it is so much like my situation" blah blah blah.........

Now I am not saying I don't like this domme.....cause I do !!!....... I know she is very political .. and wants to be very involved in the community.......... But years of experience have taught me that I am not that sort of person.  I have seen leaders (and wannabe leaders) come and go..... I am still here... still playing... still having fun...... I try to be friendly to everyone on every side of the fractured community..... I try not to pick sides.. I try to be very a-political.  (politely put....... really I couldn't give a damn about the politics)

One other issue I have ..... and as I am on a roll here...... I might as well keep going.

Since when did it become OK to bring your camera to a public event and snap pictures whenever your lil heart feels like it???   Oh you may be only taking a picture of so and so's ass or crotch or rope work ........ good for you....... BUT ........ did you check the faces exposed in the background of that shot???!!!  No?? You should.  I know W never ever takes a picture of anyone without checking the faces in the background... without erasing any picture that exposes some unsuspecting subject.  I don't trust everyone else to be so cautious.  AND the only time W takes pictures is most often at the very beginning of an event..... and they are posed ....... and everyone is more or less informed to stay out of the way !!!  Very unlike the photographer on Saturday evening who wandered around snapping shots here there and everywhere.

So...... I have issues.  They won't disappear.  They haven't in the 20+ plus years I have been involved here in the Great White North.  Just every once in a long while I feel the need to bitch about them.

take me there......

The wood was strong and welcoming as I pressed my body against it.... my hands grasped the rungs of the suspended wooden ladder.....there were no restraints - haven't been for a very long time - I know not to move my body away..... my eyes flew around the room looking for something to anchor myself to...........

The leather strap started its warm up on my ass....... and it hurt........ and I scrambled to find some anchor - any anchor - tried to slow my breathing down....... reminded myself I wanted this ...... no ....... needed this.....

Slowing my breathing down....... slower and slower - even as the leather strap was going faster and harder..... slow down the breathing... focus on the sparkly lights..... ignore the room......... ignore the people......ignore the noise......... ride the waves of pain... ride them higher and higher...... take me there.. take me there.......

Suddenly a bitter cold bites into my warm body......... it slides over my back .... over my ass.. down my legs...... I struggle to stay there.. high on top of the pain........ but the cold begs me to look...... I turn ..... W laughs and hides the cold ....... I want to know .. I need to know..... a small stamp of my foot...... I shiver and close my eyes trying to feel the shape  of this cold.... I turn suddenly and catch a glimpse of the cold........... and yes it IS cold.........

the cold looks like a long icicle to my clouded eyes...... a long icicle with a silver handle..... it burns ......... I close my eyes again and ride the pain higher and higher ...... take me there...... take me there.........

The natural rhythm returns .... leather and whips..... and I am going there... I am going there...........

And then - the biting searing pain ...... feels like wire cutting across my ass.... tearing me open......... I need to know ...... I can't picture a wire toy I want ...... no I NEED..... to see this wire toy.......... I turn and W smiles at me.. I can see it - the smile - and I know all is well.......... the familiar blue whip comes into view.......

and I marvel that it now feels like wire....... when did the blue soft whip turn into a wire cutting tool.... I must be cut and bleeding....... but I no longer care...

I am there.

ughhhh - UPDATED

 I am almost afraid to say it.......... but I think I may have figured out my problem.  I let Firefox upgrade itself.......... in frustration tonite I took the upgrade off and put back the old version........ et voila .. here I am .. on firefox writing in my blog.... 


Save the cheers until I am sure it lasts......... but I am doing a semi happy dance around the house !!!!


 Ok .. so I am having all sorts of trouble logging into my blog - even with Internet Explorer........

So if I disappear for a bit ...... it's because I am having blogger issues........

Lost my mojo

Ok so I had this reasonably good blog entry today based on Saturday's night event.  

I was gonna show you this pic........

and this pic,,,,,,,,

BUT for some reason this morning - when I went to the blogger dashboard - the damn thing didn't recognise me... said my blog didn't exist.  WTF??!!!

I sent an emergency email to W and asked him if he could log on to my blog..... 
and he could.

Then I took a breath and realized I had a lap top I could try...... 

Et voila - blogger dashboard was there ......... my blog was there............. 

So the problem lies not with blogger - but my pc.

Now I am pissed at my pc.......... running all sorts of scans - every scan they invented to see if it can find the problem...... hopefully ........ cause the pc has all the pics .., and for some reason all my inspiration........ my mojo.,

Anyway - all this confusion - stress - has dashed the inspirational blog I had planned.... 

Hopefully tomorrow the inspiration will be back ......... my mojo will be back.,.......

Vanilla with a side order of kink........

 

I was thinking how our weekend was a mixture of vanilla with a side order of kinky fun..... 

On Saturday - just after lunch - I met W at our favourite BDSM shop because I really needed a new pair of plain black thongs.  BUT I have had my eye on an oriental corset they have............ secretly coveting it ........... but afraid it was way out of my price range.  The owners wife helped me find a nice sexy black pair of thongs - and then I let my secret out - Could she show me the oriental corsets - and I quickly explained that I wasn't sure it was slated into my budget right now.............. She pulled out 3 or 4 absolutely gorgeous oriental corsets.  My coveting level topped the all time chart of covetousness.  I let her try a corset on me to find my size ........ and then I asked the price...... (expecting it to be sky high as they only do custom fit oriental corsets).  Imagine my surprise .. delight.. and sheer joy when it was half the price I had figured in my head.  It is on order......... a gorgeous red with black pattern oriental corset.  I also took in my new leather backless dress that is way too big so they can take it in for me.  Two weeks or so and I should have my latest fet wear acquisitions back.

Then Saturday night we got all dressed up (and yes dear Buffalo - I did manage to decide on what to wear!!)and headed off to the play party.  We had great fun!!  It helps when I am feeling confident and sexy in my outfit....... We played for I don't know how long...... and god it was good!!!  Especially when W brought out the gorean whip - I haven't felt that particular whip in ...... for ever !!!!  W did have to ice down my ass when we were finished as I had two particularly hard lumps in each ass cheek (that are still tender today). I would say I am back in top play mode (though I still probably don't go as long - or take quite as much as I used to)  It is nevertheless a big improvement on just over a couple of months ago !!!

Sunday W had a wedding to do (delivering the flowers - not participating per say ) and while he was gone I got busy (being the family gardener that I am) I planted some rather nice pots (if I do say so myself) and positioned them at the bottom of the stairs to the front door.  Then I spread some grass seed and earth on the bare patches of lawn....... and just got finished up when W arrived home.

There was an antique car show in the center of town that we had planned to head down to ........ so off we went.  

Here are just a few of the "arty farty" shots I took of the cars......

 Fire bell on the old fire truck 

                                                                         fuzzy red dice

and no antique car show would be complete without period costumes

Sunday evening we had our first barbeque of the season - steak and baked potatoes - with a side order of spanked ass (with the metal meat flipper) for good measure!!


It was a GREAT weekend !!!

Clothes

Yesterday's post brought an email from a friend teasing me about the "what to wear ... what to wear?" lament.  

And I guess ........ considering how the world is supposed to come to an abrupt end today... stop spinning on its axis and just POOF disappear...... I could have other more serious things on my mind (like praying for forgiveness??)

But I am not............. considering things more serious - OR - praying for anything........

I am organizing my clothes - fet wear and regular - to take to W's today.

But my friend was right - to a certain degree.  Why worry about what I wear to a play party?  Certainly W doesn't much care - he tends to adopt the attitude - wear what you want as long as I get access to the ass (and on occasion the tits) 

Shrug

So why I am fussing?  Especially since fet wear is not exactly my fetish....... don't much like leather - especially the smell!!  don't much like high heels (they make my feet hurt in a matter of minutes !!) don't much like black........ so why am I fussing??

Because in the old days (yeah yeah I know I am sounding like your grandmother!!!)  What you wore to an event  got you in or didn't.  Back in the day I would really bitch - cause the men could get in if they simply wore all black.  Women were expected to be dressed to the nines - in fet wear - from leather to lingerie to corsets....... expensive uncomfortable (for the most part) fet wear........... and I think - back in the days - one could tell just by looking who was the Dominant and who was the sub.  A good example is the slave ring I wear........ back in the day only a sub/slave would wear it..... now it doesn't seem to matter.  And I remember when I was first learning about this lifestyle - I was told "you see a body pierced - be it nipples or clit or penis - that person is a sub.  No Dominant would ever pierce his/her body".  

Well those days are gone.  It would seem Doms get pierced, even wear collars for god's sakes!!  It has gotten to the point you have to ask "Dom or sub??" when you meet someone new cause there are few if any outward signs. 

Which is probably why - from time to time - I have a sub approach me - because despite my obvious sub wear - they just don't know the difference !!!  Hell I have even had a Dominate kneel at my feet - oh my god !!!  that was the most uncomfortable time I have had in a long long time at a public event.   AND he was definitely dressed (in my opinion) the part of Dominant.  

Clothes used to "make the man (or woman)" But now in my humble opinion they just make it harder to separate the village idiots from the rest of the village............. 

Weekend

 

Well despite my ability to lose track of the days from time to time...... I do know that it is Friday today.  And the reason I know that ........ is ....... because I am going to W's this weekend..... and tomorrow we are going to a play party.

I love the venue of this play party.  The couple that organizes these parties hold them in their home.  Except it isn't your usual home - home.  He is an artist and their home is in a  converted garage - which means there is a huge amount of room to play..,.,. and high ceilings so whips can be used,  He also has some of the most original large equipment I have ever seen.  Not your usual stale spanking benches or St Andrew's crosses (oh he has those too but............ ) he also has a huge tree trunk in the area - with eye bolts attached to hang your sub from.  He has what I call a "ladder" that is suspended from the ceiling by chains and fastened to the floor at just the right angle - so one can sort of lie against it and it supports your entire body.    He has a rope ladder thingy that goes from floor to ceiling and always makes me think I am on a pirate ship when I see it.  It can hold at least two subbies comfortably - leaving room for the Doms to play.  

There are loads of seating areas - and an eating area - and no one seems to worry too much about protocols or DM's or rules  (only if you really want them) He and his wife go out of their way to make sure everyone is comfortable and having fun - and check in with everyone throughout the evening.

I spent this morning fussing over what I will wear tomorrow evening.  My "fet wear" is limited at best - and summer fet wear is nearly non-existent.  I have settled on a white corset with white lacy stockings and a white thong and my new white open toed heels.  

Of course I do have two black corsets and black stockings - but i don't have a pair of  plain black thongs. Honestly I don't know what I was thinking when I bought the 3 pairs I have - one pair has multi coloured butterflies on them - another has a rainbow pattern on them and the other has white polka dots.  Not a plain black one in the lot.  I really need to get out and find a pair of plain sexy black thongs.

Despite everything I DO know about the event tomorrow evening - from clothes to venue to guests - there is still a HUGE sense of the unknown.  And that sense of unknown gives me butterflies and makes me edgy ........ and excited.  That is just part of the thrill of playing..... the unknown.   

So I am off to have a wicked weekend - and I wish for all of you as wicked a weekend as fits your life.............

 

More This 'n That

Ok..... because I am SO nice I thought I would update you all on my "yesterday's This 'n That" 

The optician finally called me at 10:30  and told me I could come in any time.. so off I went.. They replaced the nose piece and the pads and scolded me cause the nose piece was dirty........ excuse me ??!!!  I am now wearing make up - cause everyone says I look so much better when I wear make up.. now I am supposed to apply make up remover to my glasses..... sigh...... sometimes life can get so damn complicated.

Then I went to the hardware store to get something to stick down those damn recycled patio stones...... I actually found a knowledgeable sympathic young guy... who got me some stuff that works like caulking (thank god - I don't think I could face more of the glue stuff we used the last time) and said it was contractor grade "glue".  I want to believe him I really really do!!!!  Only next spring will tell how right he was.  Of course he added I couldn't use the stuff until it stops raining and everything dries up........ so maybe it will be next spring before I get to use it..... (see me sigh??)

Then because I felt like I was on a roll.. I went to the grocery store to pick up some coffee then the drugstore to pick up my fiber pills......... and discovered at the drugstore I no longer had my interact card.  Dear god in heaven!!!!  that is my life line.... I never carry cash.  So I flew back to the grocery store - they didn't have it.. searched the parking lot (in the rain of course) and didn't find it.. and had to make a trip to the bank to cancel it......... where I sat for 30 minutes waiting to see someone......... I HATE waiting.


Once that was taken care of I came home...... pooped...... had lunch .,., had a nap.. then came on line to surf and read blogs and just wake up (I HATE napping in the afternoon)
That's when I discovered that the nose piece on my glasses was now way too tight.. and my poor nose is bruising again.  Honestly !!!  I am about ready to buy a white cane and throw the damn glasses out.  In frustration I bent the nose piece myself and I think I may have fixed the problem myself........ I hope so....... cause a bruised nose is no fun.

DAMN


Now for some reason I can`t get that cute curly-cue line to separate the page....... 


Anyway........... 


Today W and I are supposed to be going out to the Island for the 4 year olds graduation from Prek - go figure - graduation from Prek!!  I have the pizza and the banana crumb cake ready to go... .as well as promised lawn chairs, empty flower pots and a small garden table.

So I am off to wash the hair and scowl at the crappy poofy hair cut.. put on make up and try and remember to wash the nose piece at the end of the day.

Life is full of ``this `n that``

This 'n That

I think truthfully I have more fun finding illustrations for my blog - than I do actually writing one.  It always amazes me how many pictures are out there on the web...... on every topic one can think of!!!   Amazing.


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I saw the most amazing outfit yesterday.  Honestly I didn't know if I was going to laugh or cry.  Tuesday's have become coffee days with drakor.  He has been showing off his new female garb each time we go over.  Yesterday there was nothing set in stone.  W had a lunch meeting and probably wouldn't make it.  I was going shopping to a big box store with eldest daughter - and big box stores tend to exhaust me - even on good days... the noise .... the bright lights.. the confusion.  BUT drakor tempted us with a description of his outfit for the day.  (Now I should tell you - he dresses in female garb even if we aren't coming to visit )  His description was - I will be wearing a bright pink bra with a grass skirt.  


Well when I got home from shopping I sat down to have lunch - and oh let me tell you that chair felt ohhhhhhhhh so good.  But then I thought to myself - get your ass out of the chair and go have coffee with drakor.  So I went.  Truthfully I had completely forgotten the wardrobe description or I swear !!  I would have brought my camera.  When he opened the door - he was indeed wearing a bright pink bra (maybe a training bra??  All I know is it fit perfectly !!!


The grass skirt ......... well what can be said about it... it was a yellowy green grass skirt.  And I have to say - drakor's body did the outfit justice.  I don't know too many women - never mind men - who could pull it off.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am really fed up with poor workmanship.  I bought new glasses about 18 months ago.  I have been back to the optician's office at least 4 times because the nose piece was too tight and digging into my nose........... and god it hurt.  At one point the bridge of my nose was actually bruised from the damn thing. 

Then about a week ago the cushion thing on the nose piece fell off.  Now granted I should have gone right back in...... so yes it is my fault...... but I have been wearing glasses that now has a metal piece biting into my nose.  ughhhhhhhhhh

Well I reached my breaking point...... I have a feeling because one side is broken and the other one isn't...... my glasses are off kilter and therefore make reading or writing..... hell SEEING........ very difficult.  And I am wondering if that is why I have been having headaches.  

I just called them and guess what ??!! they aren't open yet.  BUT I want to go in NOW.  It is 9:30, it's not like it is 5:00am when I hit that wall of "I can't take this anymore!!"........ sigh....... Hopefully they will get fixed today.... I have reached my limit.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And talking about workmanship.......... a couple of summers ago I bought new patio tiles for my secret garden.  They were made from recycled rubber (mainly car tires apparently) and supposedly you just plunked them down and they were good to go - for like - forever.  


The next summer they had all curled up at the corners.  So W and I went and bought some sort of glue stuff and relaid them all - with glue.


Last summer the corners had started to lift and curl again.


This summer they are worse............ and I am going to have to figure out what to use to get them to lie down flat and last forever as advertised.  sighhhhhhhhhh


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Eldest daughter who got laid off from her career in March and whose loving (tongue in cheek adjective) husband walked out on her May 1st has found part time work.  She is working in a local sex shop.  Her first day was yesterday and I just got off the phone with her.  She loves it !!!  It is "amazing" It is "fun" It is "exciting" 


Lucky mom got a run down on the products they sell..... and she is already talking about which toys she wants to buy.......... and god what her hubbie is missing out on....... and god how she wishes she had a "guinea pig" Doesn't want a relationship....... just wants someone to try out all these toys and ideas on.  

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And have I told you all I HATE my new haircut??!!!  Why can't hairdressers just do what you ask them to??? I wanted a summer cut.  Basically one length - but layered in the back and slanted towards my face (hard to explain in words - I gave her a picture!)  And instead she sectioned/layered/whatever the hell you call it all my hair so now when I wash and dry I bloody look like my mother....... and it doesn't move.... it just sits there on top of my head looking poofy ......... and I HATE POOFY!!!

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We have had so much rain this spring that most of us here in the Great White North are seriously considering building an Ark.  Now I really shouldn't complain and have tried very hard not to.... there are so many that have been flooded out.. lost their homes to these rainy days and rising river levels ....... but honestly Mother Nature ....... we need some sun.... and more than just a couple of days of it... and then a week or so of more rain.........


And this it I think for my "this 'n that" ........ just wanted to bring you all up to date.

Kinky sex

No that title is not just a grabber............ I really do intend to talk about kinky sex...... At least that is my plan.

This past summer I learned something about me....... besides the fact I am a bit off center that is... I learned that pain without sex is a downer for me.  And I am not just throwing out the word "downer".  It makes me crash.. it makes me depressed.  Pain in all it's glory is really foreplay for me.  And if sex doesn't follow ............. well it is a bit like having a bucket of cold water thrown on you when you are THIS close to cumming.

And yes yes I can and do have orgasms from the pain...... but as I have discussed here before - it is not the same kind of orgasm as the orgasm from penetration... from fucking........... my whole body doesn't seem to get involved in the process....... just my innards.  And I know I need my whole body involved (I have never done anything half way - cheeky grin)

Ok.......... so all that being said...... 


After the operation...... I have bemoaned more than once my lack of desire for pain or sex or anything kinky.  I bemoaned the fact the damn surgeon removed my kink along with the gall bladder - left the dark shadow on the Xray and took all the good stuff!!

Then I decided that the endorphins I get from pain were missing....... gone ... the addiction to the endorphins was gone.  I had gone through a rehab clinic of sorts and had cured my need/my craving for endorphins.

So I figured the only way to fix that was to get back on that cross / or spanking bench / or bend over the nearest table and take it like a masochist - suck it up until the endorphins were flowing and everything was back like it was.


The only problem with that plan - that I can see - is that there just hasn't been enough opportunity to work on my addiction......... between vanilla stuff and topsy turvey tummies........ there just hasn't been enough time.


Yesterday I was a busy lil bee - cleaning the office - doing paper work - paying bills - then cleaning my bedroom and changing the bed linens...... Oh I was a good lil house frau.


And in the midst of all that cleaning - two things happened.


First I found - by accident - the eye bolts in the back of the headboard ( my duster got caught on one and I couldn't figure out what it was - had to move the bed to discover the old eye bolts from - what ?? 7 or 8 years ago - were still there) 


So then as I finished up the dusting and the oiling of the wood furniture my imagination took a little trip........... me tied up on the bed - unable to move - all my sex toys - and some pain toys - lined up on the bed beside me - and I was put through my paces (so to speak) Ohhhhhhhhhh it was a wonderful fantasy - got me through the dusting and the oiling - BUT not the mopping of the floors or the changing of the bed linens.  


I had to stop.


I went and found the two latest sex toys that I have received (for review) stripped down and pretended I was tied to those eye bolts in the back of the bed..... and .......... well........
had a good ole play time.


When it was over - and I was lying on the bed feeling warm and contented - I realized that masturbating to orgasm (like the orgasms from pain) was just not enough.  First of all - I need them in combination..... pain and pleasure.  And I need a partner - it's just not as good when I can make the decisions to stop / start/ continue / more intense / less intense.  My brain is way too involved in the process - and it needs to just "go with the flow" so to speak.


Some of the best sex / endorphin rush I used to have - came from being beaten and fucked and beaten again.  Or after a session (or before - I was never very particular about timing) I would be caught and bent over whatever was at hand - kitchen counter, dining room table, ottoman and fucked.  


And of course the very best times were spent tied to those eye bolts in the bed - with a crop and clothes pins and sex toys at the ready...... and the order of the day was "Let's see just how many orgasms you CAN have".  


ummmmmmm do ya think my hormones are returning to normal - along with all the other stuff in my blood that was out of whack?? (like potassium and electrolytes??) 


WARNING - I DO love kinky sex !

Losing my mind

Ok........ so Friday the School Board informed me that I was going to have to on EI for the sumer - which, truthfully, is just not do-able financially for me.  I was more than a little bummed  - let me tell you.  

I like being home... I can't say I have been bored...... and with spring here and summer around the corner - I wasn't thinking about work.

After Friday's news I decided I had better start thinking about going back to work and somehow balancing doctor's nonsense and work schedules.

But then today something brought home that it was time to go back to work - more than financial.

The vet clinic where I took squirt and then miss ashes - has been undergoing a lot of renovations.  The place has been upside down.  This week I got an invitation to their grand opening, on Saturday May 14th!!  Guests would be able to see behind the scenes - the ICU unit, the cat hotel, the dog hotel, the adoption center, and the pet center.  There were going to be gift bags and raffles and well all sorts of fun.

So today - after lunch I got dickied up and off I went to the Grand Opening.  When I got there I couldn't believe there were so few cars.  When I went in there was no one around.  I asked the reception what happened to the open house??? She looked at me for a second and said "the open house was yesterday - Saturday"  I took a breath and realized that today was Sunday!!!

Driving home - with some egg on my face - I realized that all 7 days look the same to me......... Monday - Sunday no difference.  Going back to work is a necessity.


I am losing my mind in this blissful peaceful place called sick leave.