Wednesday, November 18, 2009

more thoughts on "family"

Ok.. so yesterday i touched on the subject of "Leather family"......... a .. what to call it?? ....... a phenomena i am trying to grasp/understand........

Originally i only heard about / learned about / read about leather families in print or on line. But then i heard about and finally met a Dominant here in the Great White North who was supposedly the head of a leather family. When i met him though he resembled someone more like a pop star..... surrounded by an entourage with adoring fans fawning over him. Personally ......... i wasn't much impressed. i thought he came across as an asshole... with a huge .. and i do mean HUGE ego. The other thing i noticed was ... he only had submissives.. i didn't see any other Dominants... and in my limited knowledge ... leather families involved submissives and Dominants....... plural.

The next time i came across what could possibly be considered a leather family was at a private party in the fall. There was a group of folks who arrived and immediately congregated together. i found it almost impossible to figure out who was who....... (sub .. dom etc) they all seemed fairly equal. The sexism in me tended to think / identify the male as the Dominant. When it came to play time they spread out and took over a rather large area ....... not mixing with anyone else and certainly not welcoming anyone else into their circle. If this was a leather family they were very insulated. During the evening i watched them..... and realized they must be a group of switches.. as each one of them seemed to take a turn on the receiving end of the floggers....... and that muddied the waters even more for me.. trying to sort out who was in control.......... because in my opinion.. in a family .. there should be some sort of head... someone in charge.

So i am left wondering .......... are there real leather families out there somewhere...... in the REAL world (sorry .. but anything can and does work on line. i tend to need real life experiences believe. Just call me "doubting thomas")

If there are such things..... how do they work?? Does each Dominant rule the tribe of submissives/slaves?? or do they break down into individual couples that come together once in a while to play?? And if that is the case .. then how is that different from good friends getting together once in a while to play??

AND if leather familes DO exist in the real world.. how do you get one started?? How do all the dominants and submissives co-exist??

Anyone have any answers to my questions??


  1. I'm not sure why, but I guess I always associated "leather family" with the BDSM exclusively gay contingent ... doug reads a guy who talks about his "family" and he is almost exclusively a dominant and gay and is really really well informed AND VERY real which is a huge bonus.

    Like you, I'm need real.... there is just so much fantasy out there; which is fine, but don't present it as REAL.

  2. I haven't got a clue about leather families but I hope that someone that reads this blog has. There is rampant curiosity involved.

    I am watching this comments box in anticipation.


  3. While i have to admit, i am far from an expert on the subject, i do know a little bit about "Leather Families". In years past, leather families were mainly gay males, they made up what is known as the leather community, it is also often referred to as Old Guard, and comes with very specific protocols, for example, the title of Master is something that must be earned, and after it is, everyone in the community will refer to this person as Master so and so. Leather Families today are not exclusively male, and not exclusively made up of gay members. This term today is more or less a group of people who may or may not live together, but who gather together regularly. There is usually one Head of Household, although the Head may be a couple, and there are usually several submissives. In some cases, the Master may have a first girl and she may have submissives or slaves of her own. It is generally a well ordered family, and they all care for and protect one another. If you look up leather families on-line, you will find other examples, this is just the small amount of knowledge i have.


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