Thursday, January 29, 2009

What's love got to do with it?

For the last - almost a week - i have been doing some navel gazing....... i can not explain to anyone what is going on in my head... maybe it is nothing more than January blah's... i have been prone to them in other years.. where i want to lock the doors and keep the world out... i haven't had anything of interest to say.... i haven't had anything cute or bratty to say.. i haven't even had any wise and wonderful things to say........ i have been locked behind thick doors keeping everyone at bay.........

But thanks to a few folk who came knocking on my thick wooden doors.. i have slowly realized i am missed .. and fretted about .. when i close those doors. BUT those emails alone aren't responsible for my coming out of seclusion.....

i will try and explain.........

i have always said to any prospective Doms/Dommes - don't love me so much that You can't hurt me (i know you have read that here before) ..... The other day i begged Sir to love me enough to beat me silly ....... and He asked (poor Sir ) if this was some sort of subbie test?? and He repeated my pat line about loving too much !!!

When i am in this "lock the doors and keep the world out" mood i rarely come on the pc.. i don't want to know how wonderful your life is with your Master.. how wonderful and painful the sessions are.. how many blow jobs you have given.. or how many orgasms you have had... (jealousy is not a nice feature in a submissive) ..... so i haven't really been reading........ except for one or two favourite blogs..

One of those blogs is a new one for me... It is entitled The Wrong Side of the Hill... i came to find it because the owner of said blog has left some tongue in cheek comments here from time to time...... and because i loved .. LOVED.. his nick.......... "Mr. Upton Ogood".....

The other day he wrote a piece on politics and then a bit on BDSM .. actually that bit was his opinion on something written on another blog (you know how convoluted these things can get!!)

Mr. Upton Ogood wrote: can get in the can't help but get in the way. You can hold-up or hold back because of concerns for your bottom and thus disappoint. Conversely, you can go way over the top because you expect that the bottom will want to please you and thus disappoint as well. So, sure, love can get in the way. But too, love is how you can find in yourself things that will serve your bottom.

And .. as i said to Him in a comment..... it finally got my ole brain percolating..

Actually it was the last little bit.. "love is how you find in yourself things that will serve your bottom" Maybe my thinking has been screwed up all these years.. maybe i should request that my Dominants love me enough to beat me and fuck me and keep me totally off kilter.......

love me enough to keep me focused
love me enough to chase away the stresses of the week with a good beating
love me enough to force me on my knees when the knees won't bend
love me enough to humiliate me
love me enough to make me do all those things i dread and hate

i think Mr. Upton Ogood has it right....... it is love - a deep abiding love inside - that gives the Dominant the strength to do unimaginable things to His submissive....

And in return .. it is the deep and abiding love inside the submissive that gives her the strength to accept willingly.


  1. yes I would most definitly agree with Mr Upton OGood and your revalations. Some times after years of being told to be nice to women it is hard to understand that whipping your girlfriend or wife is showing the stongest possible love to go against the norms of pleasure. Doms trie but they are human.

    I also agree you were missed.

  2. Geez...I sound smarter on your pages than I do on my own. ;-)

    Thank you


  3. Honest opinion, morningstar. You sometimes make life a whole lot more complicated than need be.

  4. im soo glad you are back- you have been missed more than i think you realize.
    i think you have finally found answers to what has been bothering you and it makes my heart happy that someone helped you find them- i agree, Mr. Upton Ogood has some wonderful things to share- to make us all think about.
    hugs to you sweetie, and again, welcome back.


  5. I would have ta agree with Buff!

    Oh yes I am back and settling in.....

  6. Here is the thing that has been percolating in my brain, too... I know that it is hard work for a Dominant person (and probably emotionally risky) to continually hold us submissive types in the place where we know that we really do belong to them. I know that and I understand and I even sympathize. I just can't make myself get over needing that to happen anyway. So, if it doesn't happen, I'll go right along doing the submission bit -- but the joy seeps away day by day, until it feels like I am doing nothing much but managing the pills and bills...

    hugs, swan

  7. poor dominants! we truly do expect so much from them!

    I'm going to muse some more on this is certaintly good fodder for brain food.

    i've been worried about you...

  8. Interesting view.
    Will have to think on it ...

    I am happy to see you ... I was worried, and you were missed.

  9. Anonymous10:03 am

    i agree with everyone -- you were missed! Happy you are back in the swing of it (so to speak).

    i liked what Mr. Ogood said, but i REALLY liked your comments too.

    Love does make the D/s dynamic special and real and good.
    Sir's pet


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