Life is just plain boring........... like vanilla.. nice flavour but boring..........
When i look at the calendar from now till eternity.. i see one vanilla event after another slated for the weekends......
Last weekend i teased Sir (sort of teased - sort of spoke the truth) that life was becoming vanilla.. and i can't hold the submissive pose forever in a vacuum........It would appear by the time the weekend rolls around we are both exhausted.. pooped .. and so the weekend is spent doing what absolutely HAS to be done.... and vegging out on the sofa.......
We appear to be suffering a tsunami of vanilla activities.. and i have given up trying to fight the waves .. the impact .. the flooding of this vanilla tsunami that has swamped our lives.
Hells bells.. last night when i finally got home from work through all the road construction.. i was in the kitchen baking for the second and last Bridal Tea of our wedding season.. and i was thinking.. 'gee i could blog about the menu for the Tea....... about all the yummy comfort foods i have been baking'........... and then i came upstairs to the office and skidded to a halt.. and thought to myself.. is this blog about vanilla menus.. or about my lifestyle as a slave/submissive???
i guess it is becoming more a blog about life in general.. and the vanilla tsunami is overtaking the blog too..........
Once i had a dream....... to be a 24/7 slave.......... Sir used to threaten i wouldn't be able to handle His strictness 24/7 ............ i would crumble under the pressure.
Now ... shrug.. now i know the 24/7 - REAL 24/7 - will never happen... Sir will always be in His little corner of the Great White North and i will be in this corner..... and vanilla life will continue to slip under the doors and invade the house......... i will suffer from the whip lash of being a naked slave one minute.. and serving tea to the wedding ladies in heels and stockings and pretty party dresses....... or dressing up in long gowns and heels and parading around after Sir in kilt at some fancy dress ball............being addressed as.. are you ready for this one "Milady"......... geez louise when did i get promoted to "Milady" .. sighhh
my slave side is being pushed further and further away........ deeper into myself..... it scares me a little........ but that is my life......... out of control and spiraling away....... (or so it feels)
i guess what i am trying to say.. in a wordy way...... in a round about way ..... is........ that until life sorts itself out.. (unless god forbid THIS is my life now) .... that this blog will be a mix of recipes.. kids.. work.. and whips and chains...... and as for the fictional blog.... well .. not many read it.. and inspiration has quite literally dried up ... i think it is best put on sabbatical until such time as my imagination returns from IT'S sabbatical.
Sigh. Yeah. Us too. So many demands and so much pulling us this way and that way, that our times to really live the full potential of our M/s dynamic are becoming more and more rare. In between, we work, and cook, and battle the finances, and clean, and watch some TV, and head to bed so we can get up and do it all again the next day.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I am beginning to believe that THIS really is the life. No point in pining for another time. There is only forward, and forward looks less and less kinky all the time.
swan
I've been musing on this post since I read it yesterday. I guess for me, my reality is that it is an impossibility to live ANY specific lifestyle as fantasy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
ReplyDeleteI mean, the way I see it, life is ALL about moments - and I learned a long time ago to stop trying to enforce my interpretation of life into small boxes ... reality has a way of smacking people in the face (in a not nice way of course).
Once your girls are all married off and all the MILLION things that you have admirably and beatifually done for them are in the past, THEN perhaps some focus can return to the unit which is you and your Sir -
It doesn't mean you are your Sir's slave when you are serving the Bridal Tea, nor does it mean you are less a slave to your Sir when you mark your papers, clean the house, pick up what you need to pick up for all the many demands on you - its just ANOTHER aspect of who YOU are - it still belongs to him -
i'm so with all of you. fighting for some time off and time for myself. wearing a few hundred different hats. like your blog. visited for the first time today. we have the same funny question in our profile. lol..what does that mean? probably nothing but it made made me smile. hope you feel better.
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