Wednesday, August 02, 2017
Intimacy as foreplay
Once a very long time ago I was having a discussion with a girlfriend about sex. And I remember her telling me that I had had good sex -- but not terrific sex. I didn't understand -- after all I could have multiple orgasms and that was terrific no?? And she had just smiled at me and said "wait -- when you start having terrific sex you will know -- AND you will never be content with good sex again".
Fast forward some 20 years and here I am ........ at my age! finally experiencing terrific sex. And she was right -- I can't go back to 'good sex' -- I want terrific sex !
And this terrific sex does not happen when we strip and climb into bed .... no NO! it happens all day long - from his mid day texts that say "hey sexy how's your day going".... to the soft kisses .... to his thanking me for the smallest things. It is walking through the woods holding hands talking about whatever and he stops and kisses me cupping my face in his hand .... the sparkle in his eye while he is kissing me. It's his grabbing my ass playfully as I walk past him. It's snuggling up close together at bedtime and talking about silly things -- or serious things -- our bodies entwined hands touching. It's his holding my breast softly gently till my mind shuts off and I fall asleep.
It's all those things and so much more.
It's the intimacy during the day that makes for terrific sex..... it's the knowing he loves me - despite my scars my worries my sometimes obsessiveness - maybe because of them.
It's also his knowing my body - exploring it -- getting to know it intimately. It's allowing me to explore his body and get to know it. It's his knowing when to wrap his hand around my neck and look down at me with 'that look' and knowing my body will melt and open to him....... or when to simply make soft gentle love to me.
Terrific sex is his knowing me.. knowing my body.... and filling me up with love.