I had two brilliant comments on yesterdays entry .......
one from Lucinda
"It might simply be that you don't trust the calm and you're waiting for something to ruin it even though there's nothing lurking"
and one from knottylittlemonkey
" For me worry about the future has direct correlation to self-protection. If I could just prepare for all possibilities then I won't get hurt. It doesn't work, and is counter-productive, but I still find myself doing it. You have been through a lot in the last few years. Your brain is used to being on high alert. It might take some retraining for it to calm down."
If you notice they both say almost the same thing (small smile) and it was like a light bulb went off over my head............
I am happy and content and am so scared something will bring it all crashing down around my ears. And yes little monkey you are absolutely right - as much as I would love to be able to prepare for all possibilities it is counter productive -- just because it happened before does NOT mean it is going to happen this time.. I do not have to protect myself so vigorously. I am definitely going to have to work on this reprogramming -- and hope Hands and his wife have a whole lot of patience with my skittishness.
On a different note -- I took my camera and went to a nearby park by the lake last night and took some more pictures ... I tried to get some good shots of the sunset sky -- and the moon coming up.........
(and remember -- you can click on the pictures to get a larger version)
I loved this bird house -- well the tree stump really
and here's the sunset sky pictures -- I really love the colours