Wednesday, May 09, 2012
Almost 12 years ago for the first time in my life - I moved out on my own. Can you imagine that ??? 50 years old and the first time I had ever lived on my own !!! What an adventure !!
I loved it ! I would expound on the sheer joy of living alone - the ability to do what I wanted when I wanted - to eat when I wanted what I wanted - I had only my mess to straighten up - only my dirt to clean up. Only I was responsible for everything that went right and also everything that went wrong. I had only myself to argue with. I couldn't imagine ever ........ EVER........... going back to sharing my space with anyone.
One got pretty old - and lonely and everyday normal. I started having yearnings for someone to share my every day life.. the good .. the bad .. and the ugly. Was I really willing to give up my space - my privacy ???
Then last week - when I made my dumpling dinner - arranged so nicely on the plate.. one plate... one dipping bowl.. one set of chopsticks...... And I realized 'one is a pretty lonely number'.
I did such a good job of selling living alone that when we announced (W and I ) that we were starting the plans to sell houses and move .. to another province.. together.. people started questioning me......... Was I sure??!! Was I ready ???? Had I thought this through????
What could be worse than moving in with the man you love and honour and respect?? What could be worse than living with your best friend??? And as W put it so succinctly - we have both reached a time in our lives (translated - 'we're old now') that even if over time the BDSM fades away - we would live together as friends .. right? I smiled inside 'cause truthfully folks - I can't imagine ever getting so old that I won't want / need at least a snuggle time with this man of mine!!! AND I can always put him in a rocking chair with a paddle in his hand ..... set the rocker to rocking and bend over in the path of that paddle (cheeky grin) I am sure we can and will work something out !!
One was good (for a long time) now two will be even better - for an even longer time !!