There's little or nor logic going on in my brain right now... I just know I want to be strong for Sir Steve ... I don't want to be so damn needy.... he needs me to be strong... I want to be strong... but all I want to do is cry - curl up in a ball and cry.
I am limping through my days (emotionally limping) ..... and when he comes home I smile and pretend I'm ok.. maybe if I pretend hard enough it will be true?? maybe if I work hard enough at it it will happen???
I am so scared Sir Steve's gonna get fed up with me -- tired of this crap -- have second thoughts ya know?
So very scared I am gonna fail him............
Being needy is not a bad thing ... especially when you are going through health issues ... I am sure SS is in your corner all the way. Hang in there - I'm sure all will be better soon! ... nj ... xx
ReplyDeleteI could write a book on not wanting to be needy...that has been such a struggle for me...ongoing. M...wants my neediness (I am at the point where I can accept that...most of the time)....he claims it feeds my submission, when I share that neediness it opens me up to him...enhances my submission. Needing is not a negative, it is part of being humane...and when there is someone there to hug and care for you....it is not so bad. hugs abby
ReplyDeleteAh, my friend and I just had a conversation about this today. We both agree neediness sucks, we don't like it. Add in emotions and hormonal swings and lookout!
ReplyDeleteBut Sir Steve loves you and knows what you are going through. You are getting stronger everyday. You are a true warrior young lady. Don't worry about the neediness. It's ok to be strong and needy at the same time.
Boo