Another Block

I have been struggling.  Honestly I thought I had healed all the damage from the past.  BUT it would seem there are still some areas that need work.

Sir Steve's business took a sharp and quick down turn.  He has run out of contracts.  He hasn't been working for the last 2 weeks.

AND yes I know this happens when you own your own business -- when you are starting your own business.  

But my stomach is in knots.  There are bills to pay .... and dreams to live.  The dreams can easily be put on hold...... the bills not so much.

I told him in an emotional outburst how I was feeling.  He soothed me and told me it was gonna be ok.  I fussed over his being ok.  He reassured me he was ok.  He believes things will pick up again quite quickly.  I am stressing over this -- cause I don't think he's telling me the truth.  I think he's telling me what I want to hear.  I think he is worrying and not telling me.

Cause ya see -- in the past I was always the last to know.......... 
(and yeah it wasn't the same thing at all !!  BUT I still believe everyone is keeping secrets from me)

I thought I had beaten my 'trust issues' I really did.  AND I know if he was sitting here right now he would say "What is my name??!!"  but honestly it wouldn't help ....... 

What will help is another contract -- work -- and money coming in........... 

and just maybe it would help if I learned to fully and completely trust him and what he tells me........... (thanks to all who came before for stealing my trust)