The other day I was told that W had posted a pic of me from 3 years ago on Facebook -- and I had a knee jerk reaction.
First off 3 years ago I was 70 pounds heavier -- longish hair -- and low self-esteem and confidence. I don't want to be remembered -- OR seen -- like that anymore.
I ran the whole gamut of emotions -- from fear to embarrassment to anger. Over a year ago I told him to take all *MY* photos on Fetlife down - they no longer belonged to him -- *I* no longer belonged to him. And yet on facebook he is still posting pics of me??!!!
It's a little creepy ya know??? WHY is he still posting pics of me?? What is the reason?? Why won't he let go of me???
Then .......
I realized he is pushing my emotional triggers. The important word in that sentence is *MY* emotional triggers. I am letting him do it to me. It is time to take back my power. It is time to turn off his control over MY emotional triggers.
The woman in that picture no longer exists. There is a new much improved version of her now..... and she doesn't belong to him anymore -- she has given her heart to someone who appreciates and loves her in a way he never could. And she is happier than he ever made her.
One thing to consider. While I don't know W, I suspect the timing of his posting these pics isn't an accident. You're moving on, happy, settling down in a new relationship, getting everything you wanted. If he isn't, that can be hard to watch. He will know you well and know how to push your triggers. If that isn't enough motivation to not let the triggers be pushed, I don't know what is!
ReplyDeleteNot sure of the rules on Fetlife, but can you ask the moderators to take it down?
ReplyDeleteMichele d -- on Fetlife he took my pics down -- it's on Facebook he is now posting "memories" from 3 years ago...... and excuses it by saying they are his memories too...... he does not have to post them though -- I too get 'memory' photos on FB of him -- won't see me posting them -- I remember and move on.......
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