When we first talked about trying this 24/7 - W and I - we agreed no more fantasy land - no more trying to do it like everyone else - no more reading what's on the internet or listening to others... we would do it our way.
So I arrived 2 weeks ago - and right from the start I was gonna cook and clean and be the perfect subbie - earn my keep so to speak... make W proud.
Well yesterday W sat me down and talked about groceries - simple enough discussion - right??? We weren't jiving on what should / was being purchased for food. I was trying to make different interesting meals every day - despite the heat - despite being worn out - despite everything... " a good subbie cooks for her Master" right??
(le sigh)
I had fallen into the old trap of comparing myself to other subbies/slaves. I had to do it the same way - I had to do it "right".
Except - it wasn't what W was looking for.
As he explained to me - He has simple needs when it comes to meals... plain food makes him happy... and easy to prepare food makes him even happier cause then I am not slaving away in a hot kitchen - or over a hot barbeque.
For some reason I cried over this. I had tried too hard to please him and in the process hadn't given him what he really wanted. And stupid me - I fought him a little bit on this idea. 'cause I was so caught up in doing what was right! Then the penny dropped and I thought "my god - W wants simple easy to prepare meals - am I crazy??!" And I remembered the vow we made - we'll do this 24/7 OUR way !!
So re-align - re-adjust and cook simple easy to prepare meals that make W happy. Truthfully it will make me happy too - cause as much as I love cooking - I only really like to cook from time to time... easy throw together meals suit me just fine!!
ummmmm now let me think - if I spend less time in the kitchen cooking - then that means I won't be worn out - and I will have more time and energy for fun things.... ummm sounds like a plan to me (cheeky grin) i will spend that time making sure the toys are aligned and at hand and that my ass is poised and ready.... yup yup yup... sure sounds like an adjustment I can adjust to (cheekier grin)
thank you, i needed this post for my own reasons xx
ReplyDeleteHUGGGGS Those adjustments are hard and I'm so glad you're figuring them out :) I have had the same reaction even without doing 24/7 - I have tried doing full service 50s household evenings from time to time and when S turns to me and says "you don't need do all that work, just something simple" I burst into tears because I want in that moment to be the best subbie/housewife and expectations and reality are such fickle companions. I will follow your example and remember that less work = more time for playing and snuggling and enjoying each other!
ReplyDeletehttp://thestonesoup.com/blog/
ReplyDelete5 ingredient meals. :) Yummy stuff.
You know what? The secret of a good retirement is just DO WHAT PLEASES YOU.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I have an awful backlog of things to put away or discard but I just don't care. So I'm glad you got rid of the chores to do in the garden. Believe me, in a few years time, what hasn't been done now that you have the will and the energy will never be done.
I just hope it won't be the same for you: I'm now 68 and I just don't recognize myself.