Before the sun rises

This was another one of those "up before the sun rises" days....... 
It would seem I am having a lot of those these days - or barely sleeping at all... It is all very exhausting.

But I do seem to do my best thinking/planning in the early morning darkness....

This morning's topic of thought was - how people seem to be worried about my retiring - how they seem to think I will be bored - or get depressed - or some such thing.  

I was talking to W in the car about it on Sunday (coming home from the House Warming Party) ....... People told me when my last daughter left home that I would suffer from the empty nest syndrome.  They kept saying "EVERYONE suffers from it - in one degree or another".  They were wrong.  I had planned for and lived for that day almost from the day the babies were born.  I figured if I had done a good job as a MOM then they would leave the nest and be independent - that was my main goal - to raise independent women!!  So no I didn't suffer at all - in any form - from empty nest syndrome - I celebrated this new chapter in all our lives.

Well it's a bit like that with retirement.  I have worked for over 20 years - giving everything I have to the job........ and I do mean EVERYTHING!!  My goal is/ was to do the best damn job I could do.  My goal was to work till I dropped - or retired - which ever came first (I think they might collide and actually happen together - the dropping and the retiring - but I digress) 

I have no qualms about this decision to retire.  I am so ready to embrace it and all it entails.  I do have plans - loosely sketched plans of what I will do.......... I am rather excited about the thought of days and weeks stretching ahead of me - with no plans - no schedules - only hours to fill.  Do you know how many books I have to read or want to read??? Do you have any idea how many courses I would like to take to satisfy a need in me - not some need for filling my head with information to do my job - but for filling my head with new skills and new thrills and new adventures?  Do you know how many recipes I want to try out - how many gardens / flowers I want to plant ??

I am NOT a teacher !  I am NOT a mother!  I am NOT a submissive!  I am NOT an old woman !  I am a little bit of each......... and I will celebrate the wholeness of me.  

Retirement will NOT be an ending - but rather an exciting new beginning ........ an adventure .......... a new Journey to take..............