Well at 1:00 p.m. yesterday the last school bus pulled away from the school - horns honking.
During the morning hours I had had my fair share of kiddies coming to hug me - some even to cry a little. I thought about it after. Usually I find the last day of school emotional........... but not yesterday. Probably because I have only really been there for one full year and have not formed strong attachments yet to the school or the kiddies.
Well that's not entirely true...... I do have my lil guy who screams at the top of his lungs every time someone gets into his space. And I do have my lil girl who crawls into my lap when she gets 'too scared' and I hold her while she whispers in my ear her fears of mommy going to heaven......... but funny thing is - neither of them sought me out yesterday - which is a good thing.......... they were centered and focused and enjoying the last few hours......... no need for the "stern teacher look" or the big comfy sharing chair......... and that is a very good thing !!
I did however think about next year.............. about what I will change and what I will do differently.
I have come to realize this past month - that there are so many things that should change............ but I have no interest in trying to change them. It is true what they say about folks heading into retirement............. they don't seem to give a damn. I find myself looking at changes that should be made - and I think (with a mental shrug) what's the point???For 30 years I have fought the system - and nothing much has changed.
Oh I have changed - I have grey hair and worry lines and high blood pressure ... and the system still ticks along like it always has.
So I take back all the nasty thoughts I had about folks in their last few months before retirement - I get it now ........ I truly do. As much as things seem to change - they really stay the same.
Next year I think I will mark off the days remaining till retirement - mark off the days till I can say with total glee "No more school - no more books - no more nasty dirty looks!"
Facing retirement doesn't mean you give up trying to change the system. It means, as you said, what's the point. You have finally realized as I did, after so many years in the profession, nothing is truly new in education.
ReplyDeleteTheories, procedures, etc are recycled with new names and a bit of a twist, every few years. No time is given for teachers to apply and refine what they learn. No time for in house study to determine if something is working for their kids.
Before you know it, we're off to the next "new golden egg" methodology which will increase student performance and revolutionize the educational world! Ha Ha
The only thing that won't change your final year, is the love, nurturing and compassion you feel for children. That is what you will miss most when you retire.
Joyce
I feel sorry for the little shits. Down home school has been out since just before Memorial Day.
ReplyDelete"the system still ticks along like it always has."
ReplyDeleteYes, there's nothing to be done!