Saturday, June 23, 2012
Well at 1:00 p.m. yesterday the last school bus pulled away from the school - horns honking.
During the morning hours I had had my fair share of kiddies coming to hug me - some even to cry a little. I thought about it after. Usually I find the last day of school emotional........... but not yesterday. Probably because I have only really been there for one full year and have not formed strong attachments yet to the school or the kiddies.
Well that's not entirely true...... I do have my lil guy who screams at the top of his lungs every time someone gets into his space. And I do have my lil girl who crawls into my lap when she gets 'too scared' and I hold her while she whispers in my ear her fears of mommy going to heaven......... but funny thing is - neither of them sought me out yesterday - which is a good thing.......... they were centered and focused and enjoying the last few hours......... no need for the "stern teacher look" or the big comfy sharing chair......... and that is a very good thing !!
I did however think about next year.............. about what I will change and what I will do differently.
I have come to realize this past month - that there are so many things that should change............ but I have no interest in trying to change them. It is true what they say about folks heading into retirement............. they don't seem to give a damn. I find myself looking at changes that should be made - and I think (with a mental shrug) what's the point???For 30 years I have fought the system - and nothing much has changed.
Oh I have changed - I have grey hair and worry lines and high blood pressure ... and the system still ticks along like it always has.
So I take back all the nasty thoughts I had about folks in their last few months before retirement - I get it now ........ I truly do. As much as things seem to change - they really stay the same.
Next year I think I will mark off the days remaining till retirement - mark off the days till I can say with total glee "No more school - no more books - no more nasty dirty looks!"
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