The times they are a changing.....

i love Christmas.. i really do....... it's just that as the years go by it seems more frantic .. everyone has somewhere else to be... and so all the time i invest in cooking and cleaning and decorating seems to go unnoticed .. or unappreciated.. or unsomething or other.. and it leaves me wondering why i bother?

When the girls were small .. and had no where else to be.. the holidays were spent around the Christmas tree .. eating and playing games and laughing... after the 25th it was very relaxed and laid back.... Now it seems that the girls fly in like whirling dervishes .. turn the house upside down .. and i don't feel like i even get time to sit and visit with them before they are whirling out the door to other functions........ and i am left wondering what hit me!!

Yesterday was my idea of how the season should go........... Sir came out leisurely around mid morning..and then we drove out to the country to our favourite country pub for a leisurely lunch. (Now it would have been much nicer if the pub had actually had some heat on....... and if i hadn't had to eat my lunch bundled up in my coat!!! They claimed the heat was on....... but .. the goose bumps on my arms and the frozen feet were evidence that something was wrong !!) BUT despite the no heat .. it was just what my heart needed....to relax and enjoy a meal without a whole lot of noise and whirling dervishes

Today - the 31st - is the traditional day for making a list of New Year's resolutions........ and by the 2nd - breaking them. i don't usually DO resolutions.. but i am doing a list this year...and they aren't likely to be broken within the first few days of the New Year.

1) No staff for dinner over the holidays.
2) Virtually NO Christmas baking - as it is all sitting in my cupboards and fridge and i KNOW it is gonna get thrown out
3) find a way - somehow - to feel less like i am being squeezed in between all the "important" people - even if it means NO Christmas Eve dinner at mom's.

Oh yeah......... and one more..........

4) next year No Holidailies... quite truthfully i have felt a little exposed being involved this year........ There were only 3 other ADULT ONLY blogs.. and i have noticed that every day my blog is being checked from a link that leaves me feeling scrutinized.... i can't follow the link backwards.. says i am not allowed access to the site.... all very cloak and dagger and i have to admit ..it makes me just a wee bit nervous.......... SO.. from today .. and onwards to the future.. no more Holidailies..

Tonight Sir is coming over.. i am hoping we can order in a load of Chinese food.. curl up in front of the corny television shows shown on New Year's eve......... and quietly see the New Year in ........ without the noise .. without the confusion.. without any whirling dervishes. And maybe.. just maybe.. Sir will find my fairies for me.. and invite them to attend our private celebration of 2009 .......

Holiday traditions - i am thinking - should be reviewed and evaluated .. and revamped to meet the times.......... cause
"the times they are a'changing"

It's over..

It's over.. Christmas that is.. so over!!!

The first thing i did on Monday when Sir left was to come on here and take down the Christmas blog look...... i was so over that look........ i even did a little renovating of the original look........... time for a new look i think..

Then i moved on to taking down the Christmas decorations - i had planned to stain some shelves youngest daughter gave me for my birthday wayyyyyyyy back in October.. i had finally bought the stain.. and was sticking to my promise (more to myself than anyone else) that i would get the shelves stained and up during my Christmas break. BUT in all the Christmas rush and confusion... the bag with the stain has disappeared.. poof gone.. and i can't even blame it on my fairies cause they aren't to be found anywhere either..........

The shelves are to go in my office.. and are to hold my oriental people / village - if i ever get enough money to actually buy myself the characters etc i want.......... i was thinking i should leave that for gifts (cause i am so hard to buy for dontcha know!!) BUT .. i am not the world's most patient person...... and i want what i want when i want it.. (yeah yeah i know .. that sounds bloody selfish and self centered ............ bite me!!)

But like every project i start......... i rearranged the office to accommodate the shelves .. AND...... decided the office needs a damn good painting !!!!! i did the hallway and living room in less than a week - so i should be able to do the office in a day or two right?? i have the paint... (i am gonna use the brown from the living room) .. but i don't have paint brushes (damn damn damn!!) so that project has to wait a day or so till i get out and pick some up!!

It seems every job i tried to start was a dead end........ so that left the Christmas decorations.. and that i could do !!!

Christmas is just so over....

Honest Crap....

i was awarded (questionable term) the Honest Scrap award by dear Scarlet Wytch that she is !! (more like honest crap .. but that has been said before i see !!)


The rules for this look pretty easy:

1. List 10 honest things about myself (TRUE and interesting things - not just the color of yours socks!)

2. Pass the award on to 7 bloggers.

ok here we go.........

1) i always wanted to be a teacher.. BUT.. i worked in business for a number of years before becoming a teacher.

2) i am extremely shy and don't much like going out to parties where i will be forced to interact with folks i don't know

3) i used to suffer from severe agoraphobia - went to therapy for a number of years and have more less beaten it......... (but i think it lingers around the edges of my life - which would explain my love of being safe at home and not having to go out)

4) i have never honestly believed i am very good at the job i do..... that i am just "fooling" folks.. i wonder after 20+ years of doing this job .. if i will ever believe in myself??

5) i am highly allergic to alcohol - in any and all forms - which means i am not allowed to drink.. shouldn't drink.. and though i never did drink much.. for some stupid reason i miss it !!

6) i am still labeled by those who know me pretty well as being naive and less than "street smart"

7) i still honestly believe in the inherent good in everyone

8) my favourite time of day is early morning - just before sunrise when the entire world is quiet........

9) i love quiet..... dislike televisions/radios and anything else that breaks the silence of my world

10) i never believed i was a very good mother......

ok.. now the part where 7 people land up hating me instantly.........

i want Buffalo, swan, kaya, noirkat, drakor, Mr. Upton Ogood (didn't think i would leave YOU out did you?? )and last but definitely not least Whitesnake.

Product Review..

i was asked, in a comment, to do a "product review" of the labia lifter... complete with pictures ......

After Christmas morning's quick attempt at the labia lifter.. Sir did use it again (only please don't ask me which day - cause all the holiday days have kinda/sorta run together)

i do know it was an evening.. a quiet time for Sir and i .. and Sir had me lie down on the floor at His feet.... i wasn't as nervous as i had been the first time.. cause this time i sorta/kinda knew what it would feel like.. of course i didn't take into consideration that Sir also knew how it would / could work for maximum effect !!

The large Plexiglas cylinder fits between the pussy lips...with the small black stick firmly embedded between my ass cheeks keeping/forcing the legs to stay open....




There is another smaller plexiglass cylinder that moves up and down the screw shaft.. that holds the gillian clips....... this cylinder stands at a 90 degree angle to the pussy...........



The gillian clips are attached while this cylinder is lower down on the shaft.........



There is a screw type device that when turned lifts the smaller cylinder up up and up the shaft.. slowly or as fast as is possible for maximum effect !!!



There is also .. if you look closely - a grommet?? i am not sure what you call it.. that can .. once the small cylinder is at the top... shorten the ropes holding the gillian clips even more.. creating more pull and stretch on the pussy lips........



All of these items work together to create a labia lifting
experience !!!!

This next picture was taken looking down from above on the total picture - so to speak.............



And this picture shows the stretch that was created on the pussy lips............



The pain is exquisite......... and Sir spent some time tapping the large cylinder pressing into my pussy - that made me wonder/fantasize about vibrators placed against it....... Sir also twiddled with the ropes a bit.. tugging.. releasing.. watching my expressions change.. listening to the yelps of pain and moans of pleasure...

i know that Sir did not stretch the limits (so to speak) as much as is possible.. and i am hoping that is on the "to do" list..... i find i am craving to see / feel / experience my pussy lips being stretched to maximum..... without the gillian clips being ripped off.. (we did that already by accident.. and it is NOT my favourite memory of the labia lifter!!)

On a scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being the best....... i would rate this .. ummm.. a 9 .. for now...... if Sir ever does the maximum stretch.. then i will re-rate this product.. probably to a 10 !!

Now .. just for the record..

At Sir's surprise Birthday party the new labia lifter was passed around and much discussion ensued...... one of the ideas that came out was that it could be attached to nipples ............. my knees went totally weak.. and i thought to myself - "what part of LABIA don't they get??" i am a total wimp when it comes to nipple torture of any sort..... hell i can barely handle two or three clothes pins on my breasts never mind this torture device !!! My pussy .. on the other hand ..... can handle amazing amounts of torture.. and pussy torture... literally and figuratively .. turns me on...... big time!!!

Merry Christmas

Here's wishing you all

A Christmas that is warm and joyful
A Christmas that is filled with loved
A Christmas that thrills the child within.........

And may your New Year be Happy, Healthy and shared with those you love........


from
Sir ... and His littleone

Few words..

Last evening i posted a sad blog entry.. caitlin from "caitlin smiles" died 11 days ago.

It just doesn't seem fitting that i post something light and airy today..

What i will do, instead, is post some pictures to my Photojournal.......

Tomorrow .. hopefully.. i will be able to write Christmasy happy words again..

today my heart is heavy.........

come bounce with me

Well i am officially on Christmas break..........

The question is break from what.. as this coming Monday i have 9 friends/colleagues coming in for dinner.. Wednesday i have the kids and family coming in for Christmas celebrations.. Thursday Sir and i are going to youngest's for Christmas dinner.. ok ok.. i won't think about all the comings and goings for now.. .

i was thinking this morning that when Sir is here .. i am always chained into bed.. partially because i am slave and it reminds me.. even in bed of my place.. but also because for the other 4 nights that Sir is not with me.. i have the entire bed to myself and am able to roll around .. stretch out.. bounce about and do pretty much whatever the hell i want to...... which makes me a dangerous bedfellow.. Sir has been poked in the back.. slapped.. punched.. kicked and shoved - almost out of bed.. therefore the chains are .. for Him.. protection.

Now i can still bounce around.. and roll around... but only as much as the chains allow.... i usually go to sleep with a nice comfortable 8 - 12 inches between my ankles... i usually wake up with my ankles bound tightly together with that same chain. The cuffs lock onto my ankles.. and in the morning i have pulled so hard on the chains/cuffs that the lock has half disappeared into the leather loop that closes the cuff off.. meaning i have a helluva time trying to get the lock open..

On my side of the bed is a chamber pot...



for those times in the middle of the night when the body doesn't give a damn that i am slave - am supposed to "hold it" till permission is given.... sometimes when the body is old.. the need must be accommodated... so i have a chamber pot... which means getting out of bed and squatting over the nice white pot.......... BUT..... now that i have started spending my nights tying my ankles up in chain bondage.. i am unable to get out of bed.. never mind SQUAT over my chamber pot...
The life of a slave can be so damn difficult some times.........

Usually i don't get many gifts from parents/kids at Christmas time.. i am the unseen entity in the children's lives.. the front line workers are more likely to receive coffee mugs.. and candles.. and boxes and boxes of chocolates.. bubble bath and bottles of wine .... When i do get a little something it means much much more to me...

Yesterday one of my more difficult older boys.. i will call him O.J. ...came down the hall.. woolen hat pulled down over his forehead.. scowling at anyone who dared to cross his path.. his body language said he was on a mission.. i watched from the office.. wondering (may god forgive me) who he was intent on killing.. and wishing that just for today.. for once.. O.J could let the grievance go... Christmas spirit and all that.... He marched into the office and right up to me.. in my space - as he is known to do when he is feeling threatened or aggravated or happy or glad.. virtually all the time.. it IS something we are still working on.. personal space. He thrust a hastily wrapped crumpled gift at me .. mumbling "here it's for you" ... i opened it and inside was a candle in a jar... O.J. told me that it was a chamomile candle and that he had looked it up.. it was supposed to make you relax... and he figured after the months i had had so far.. i could use some relaxing..


and then .. without warning.. O.J. threw his arms around me stiffly and gave me a hug.. with everyone watching... he gave me a Christmas hug!!! better than any candle or wine or bubble bath.. a hug from one awkward 11 year old with his hat pulled down ......

Yesterday once Sir and i made it back to the condo .. we were pooped.. for both of us it had been a long exhausting week !! BUT .... it didn't matter how tired i was.. or how out of sorts i was.. Sir decided that a "start of the holidays" spanking was in order. Toy of choice.. a stick bundle..

Now it looks like a wimpy toy .. doesn't it??



Look again.... see what happens when that 'wimpy' toy hits one's ass...



As with most toys.. it can be sensual or it can be evil. Sir decided to give me a little bit of both last evening.. a little sensual.. and then a little evil... and then a little sensual... and then.. well you get the idea.......... AND then .. Sir said "ooops".. ooops??? god i hate hearing "ooops" especially when it is my ass in the air....... turns out that the points of this wimpy looking toy had cut me.. and there was blood........ i love when that happens... i feel so vindicated.. "Sir it hurts !!!" Sir pooh poohs it.. and then "ooops" and YAY!! it hurt enough to draw blood Sir.. nanananana neener!!!

And on that note.. i will stop bouncing... (unless you count bouncing out of Sir's reach after that last bit!)