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But it wasn't exactly how i had seen the weekend playing out in my head......... know what i would love to have experienced?? a whole weekend of being tied up .. tied down.. flogged and pushed and needled and waxed and just totally used till there was nothing left in me.
i have had those expectations before...Sir says expectations are my undoing........ and He is right. i get these Great Expectations and then things happen..... life happens and it doesn't turn out the way i pictured. The BDSM camp is a good example. It is what i call my last big HURRAH before returning to work. We have been to camp twice now. The first time i was scared stiff... and it wasn't so scary.. it didn't come close to what i had imagined.. to my expectations. i had had such Great Expectations....
Last year my expectations weren't as high... but they were still up there........between awful weather (i do mean AWFUL weather very cold and very wet) ....only one play session squeezed in the whole weekend long....... AND holding a friend's hand while she worked through some tough stuff ....... camp just didn't quite live up to anyone's expectations i guess........ certainly not to my Great Expectations......
And now camp is coming around again.... (we leave on Thursday) ...... and guess what folks?? the expectations are right up there again............ will i ever learn??? probably not.. Great Expectations are just part of who i am. My wild imagination runs rampant with all the possibilities of what could be............. 3 days of living with people who all practice the lifestyle.. no hiding who or what we are.. lots of opportunity for play .. for humiliation.. for pushing limits.. for flying high ....... for laughing and chatting and visiting....But there is a part of me this year that is scared to hope/to dream... real life has a rather nasty way of bringing me crashing down to earth....... like black outs.. and air mattresses that go bang in the night... and friends that are down.. and Mother Nature's squalls and rain storms and bloody cold temperatures... nothing that can be done to prevent it.. just real life.
Real life and Great Expectations................
hmmm squalls I wonder what it would be like to be tied up outside in a squall dangerous yes but wild would it not be as for expectations well what ever happens it is more that would have happened if we stayed home would it not where do you have the oportunity to be naked 24/7 in the outdoors and not fear a vanilla will come upon you. So even if it is winter with snow we at least rule that section of the earth for a few minutes. hmmmm, snow, ice that could be fun too!
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