Monday, August 15, 2005

Great Expectations

Garage sales and munches and cooking for company and tidying and serving.. that was my weekend.. oh yeah with a play session thrown in for good measure and to keep the subbie happy. Oh it was a fun weekend........ it was !!! i even sold my tent at the garage sale.. and my step machine.. and a lounger and a few other knick knacks - the profit was quickly gone though when Sir and i bought tickets to see Midori when She comes here in September ... O/our session on Sunday was amazing and i still have marks on my thigh from the flogger........ the luncheon today for a friend of Sir's went off without a hitch.. well that's not entirely true.. Sir got hung up at work and was an hour late getting here....... but i managed to keep the lunch from drying out.......

But it wasn't exactly how i had seen the weekend playing out in my head......... know what i would love to have experienced?? a whole weekend of being tied up .. tied down.. flogged and pushed and needled and waxed and just totally used till there was nothing left in me.

i have had those expectations before...Sir says expectations are my undoing........ and He is right. i get these Great Expectations and then things happen..... life happens and it doesn't turn out the way i pictured. The BDSM camp is a good example. It is what i call my last big HURRAH before returning to work. We have been to camp twice now. The first time i was scared stiff... and it wasn't so scary.. it didn't come close to what i had imagined.. to my expectations. i had had such Great Expectations....

Last year my expectations weren't as high... but they were still up there........between awful weather (i do mean AWFUL weather very cold and very wet) ....only one play session squeezed in the whole weekend long....... AND holding a friend's hand while she worked through some tough stuff ....... camp just didn't quite live up to anyone's expectations i guess........ certainly not to my Great Expectations......

And now camp is coming around again.... (we leave on Thursday) ...... and guess what folks?? the expectations are right up there again............ will i ever learn??? probably not.. Great Expectations are just part of who i am. My wild imagination runs rampant with all the possibilities of what could be............. 3 days of living with people who all practice the lifestyle.. no hiding who or what we are.. lots of opportunity for play .. for humiliation.. for pushing limits.. for flying high ....... for laughing and chatting and visiting....But there is a part of me this year that is scared to hope/to dream... real life has a rather nasty way of bringing me crashing down to earth....... like black outs.. and air mattresses that go bang in the night... and friends that are down.. and Mother Nature's squalls and rain storms and bloody cold temperatures... nothing that can be done to prevent it.. just real life.

Real life and Great Expectations................


  1. hmmm squalls I wonder what it would be like to be tied up outside in a squall dangerous yes but wild would it not be as for expectations well what ever happens it is more that would have happened if we stayed home would it not where do you have the oportunity to be naked 24/7 in the outdoors and not fear a vanilla will come upon you. So even if it is winter with snow we at least rule that section of the earth for a few minutes. hmmmm, snow, ice that could be fun too!

  2. Great Expectations could bring Great Disappointments, i know, i have allowed myself to go through that many a times before, however i have changed my out look on that and it makes a lot of difference. It is part of who you are. Though i do have a question (one that i had to look at myself..and i'm not asking for your answer either) but have you ever thought that maybe that the disappointment fulfills something in you?

    Enjoy your trip to camp this upcoming weekend, to you and your Sir. i will keep my fingers crossed that the weather holds up for Y/you all.


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