As time goes by

Every so often a good questionnaire comes by.. one that makes me actually think... these are some questions (and answers) to the most recent set....

#1 I would like to know how many of us feel the same in the BDSM relationship we have now.. or has the relationship changed since the beginnning, become more vanilla??

like all relationships yes my relationship with Sir has changed over the years.. become more vanilla?? i wouldn't say the relationship has become more vanilla i would say that the vanilla world has become more involved in our relationship.. in the beginning Sir and i would only be together for BDSM purposes.. play parties, munches, sessions.... i was left to handle my vanilla world alone as He handled His vanilla world.. now W/we are together, the vanilla world is a part of who W/we are and what W/we do.

# 2 Are we still about control and sessions is it the reason we maintain the relation or have we found our mate and we reserve play for Sat nights or when we go out?

Sir and i are probably more about control and sessions than ever before... At the beginning W/we were about play parties and munches.. but now W/we seldom feel the need to go out and play (i am lucky enough to have a rather nice dungeon in the basement) and a lot in the community do not really understand the D/s that Sir and i have.. the total power exchange.. 24/7.. not just for the moment.. not just for fun.. this is not a game to Sir or i... so W/we tend to pick and chose O/our friends/companions carefully now.

#3 Has it always been the search for a kinky mate or truly for the lifestyles that letters BDSM provoke in our minds?

i know that my whole life i have searched for someone who defined this lifestyle the same way i do... as a commitment to service. i wasn't actually ever looking for just a kinky mate.. i wanted someone who would appreciate the submissive i am.. yeah yeah i know sometimes i am bratty.. sometimes very strong willed.. but i wanted someone who would appreciate owning a strong submissive.

#4 Subs do you still quiver with the idea of displeasing your Dom/Domme or displeasing your lover, is it more of a game, that you are an equal and play a different role?

Most definitely i still quiver at the thought of displeasing Sir.. a couple of weekends ago i got lippy with Sir... the tears i shed were not from the pain of the punishment as much as from the shame i felt at my behaviour ......... the pain actually helped heal my shame.

#5 do you now know how to influence your Dom/Domme to get what you want or do they squash these attempts?

i like to think i know how to influence my Sir........ but truthfully i have come to the conclusion that my Sir knows even before i ask what it is i want or need and has an answer ready... He allows me to cajole or whine for His amusement i am sure.. as the answer is pretty much a foregone conclusion.. whatever my Sir wishes.

# 6 Are we comfortable, is that the progression of all relaationships?

i believe that any and all relationships reach a "comfortable stage" and there is nothing wrong with that. The challenge is to keep the relationship exciting and challenging. Not to allow it to become stale and boring.