Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Triggers


A funny thing happened to me yesterday...... I had a mini meltdown thinking about Halloween.  Just when I think
the relationship I had with W doesn't hurt anymore -- something like this pops up and smacks me right in the face.


See there were always parties in Montreal -- especially Halloween ones.  Not that I like Halloween cause I don't -- but Halloween and my birthday are close -- so W always made sure we partied -- and I got my birthday spanks.

I should have known ya know when the birthday spankings stopped.... when he forgot my birthday... nodding I should have known........ but I didn't -- not me the perpetual optimist..... always hoping..... always believing ....... happy ever after endings.

It's been a long time since I had birthday spankings -- it's been a long time since I even acknowledged my birthday.  But yesterday - for some stupid reason -- I just sat and cried and hurt.  I miss that -- feeling special to someone -- special enough to have birthday parties and birthday spankings. I know -- it sounds childish --- but it felt so good when I had it.

Yesterday was a sad day -- filled with memories and longing. 

4 comments:

lindy thomas said...

It is hard when things change and you wish for them to go back to the way they were before. Happy birthday and (((HUGS))). Stay positive.

morningstar said...

Just for the record Lindy -- my birthday isn't until the end of October....
thanks for the kind words

Lucinda Preston said...

Maybe you could do something special for your birthday, something just for you. That way, no one can take it away.

Hil said...

I'd step up to give you birthday sparks - but I'm not sure if my hand is up to it (insert cheeky grin here) :-D