Wednesday, September 14, 2016
A funny thing happened to me yesterday...... I had a mini meltdown thinking about Halloween. Just when I think
the relationship I had with W doesn't hurt anymore -- something like this pops up and smacks me right in the face.
See there were always parties in Montreal -- especially Halloween ones. Not that I like Halloween cause I don't -- but Halloween and my birthday are close -- so W always made sure we partied -- and I got my birthday spanks.
I should have known ya know when the birthday spankings stopped.... when he forgot my birthday... nodding I should have known........ but I didn't -- not me the perpetual optimist..... always hoping..... always believing ....... happy ever after endings.
It's been a long time since I had birthday spankings -- it's been a long time since I even acknowledged my birthday. But yesterday - for some stupid reason -- I just sat and cried and hurt. I miss that -- feeling special to someone -- special enough to have birthday parties and birthday spankings. I know -- it sounds childish --- but it felt so good when I had it.
Yesterday was a sad day -- filled with memories and longing.