Friday, May 23, 2014
I have been trying to work out in my head what happened yesterday. You see when the doctor came in - he said "good news" good news to me is benign.
BUT then he started sketching the four different cancers that occur in the bladder and dividing them in to groups ........... and he started with the last 2 first - saying these involve removing the bladder. Then there was one in the middle of the drawing and he said "this one is the most difficult to decide what to do" and then he pointed to the last one (which really was the first one) and said "this one - like the last two - are easy to decide what path to follow - we watch and see". (and all the while I am thinking what has this got to do with me - I have good news)
And he talked more - lots more - but my brain was still dealing with 'good news you have cancer'..... Not 'good news it is benign'. I honestly don't think I heard anything else he said............... I MUST have missed some secret decoded message......... cause W thought it was great news... everyone we have told thought it was good/great news and my brain is still going round and round saying "CANCER is NOT good/great news"
I feel stupid??? confused??? definitely like I am missing something here....... and I can't figure out what it is.....
And then some dipstick (a friend from Montreal) made a crack on Fetlife saying "hey if you have bladder problems I am quite a connoisseur of diapers I can help." And I lost it on him... told him if he was trying to be funny he wasn't even close - if he was being serious he was insensitive - in fact the whole comment was totally insensitive,.
Then I turned my computer off.
I am still trying to work out how this is good/great news - I don't understand why everyone else sees this as good/great while I keep thinking i have cancer..........