Thursday, August 22, 2013

This may be TMI

In case anyone had any doubts I LOVE W - with my whole heart - and I would do anything to make him happy and contented.

The cute lil saying above pretty much states my belief - blow jobs are for men what flowers are for women......... right??  


I am probably the worst giver of blow jobs EVER!!!  

Oh there's a whole mess of good reasons (not excuses) for my not being good at blow jobs - in fact W is the first man I have ever willingly wanted to give a blow job to.  But because I have no healthy experience of what it should look like/ feel like / sound like ( a cheeky reference to reality therapy for all my teaching friends)  every time I try to give him a blow job - I feel like a total clutz - with no natural ability.  

Don't most women instinctively know how to give a good blow job??

I have even researched "how to give a good blow job" ........ I have read everything I can get my hands on...... BUT ...... when it comes right down to it... when I get right down to it all that research just breaks up into scattered bits of information in my head.  "Keep it wet/lubricated"  "Use your hands" "Enjoy it" "Let him know you are enjoying it" " Suction is important" "Tongue is important" "Use your mouth like a vagina"   All these useful bits of information rolling around in my head in no particular order.  

I try .. I honestly try to give him a good blow job - not amazing I don't even try for amazing.. I would be happy with good.............but my jaw cramps up.. my shoulder hurts.. my body doesn't seem to fit comfortably into a pretzel shape to give him a blow job................ and I always land up using a safe word (would you believe it??!!!  me.. ME .. using a safe word for a damn blow job!!)  and W is always patient and understanding and says "stop then".............. and I always feel like I have failed :(

Someone out there - someone!!! - must have some hints they can give me to improve my technique - to make me more skilled at giving blow jobs.  

Practice makes perfect - and oh god I do intend to practice............ I just need some advice - pleaseeeeeeeeeeee !!!


little monkey said...

Ask W to teach you. For every man the perfect blow job is different, he knows what he likes so he'd be the perfect instructor.I think for most men enthusiasm seems to go a really long way.

And pretzels? Him sitting, you kneeling in front. I know, my neck hurts sometimes too :)

lil said...

I have horrible neck issues, so finding what is the least uncomfortable position for me helps a lot.

I agree with lm--ask him to teach you. The only man I have ever given a blow job, is the one who taught me how, and he seems to like them just fine.

I never come at it from the side--too wide for my jaw, so positions like lm suggested work best for me.

Try to put it in whatever perspective it takes for it to be a turn on for you. Not always easy, I know, but if you can manage it, it helps a lot and I think they like it too.

If he likes sound, making those odd sounds that only come when your mouth is full and sound horribly awkward (from my perspective) might be a big hit.

I'm not an expert, but I hope there's an idea of two in here that helps.
I think lm's advice of asking him to teach you is totally the best. That and finding the most comfortable position possible.

You'll be a pro yet!

Bella Moone said...

Hi! I totally understand the position problem when giving a blowjob. My solution? Lay on your side and have him in a reclining, on his side position, facing you . Use a pillow for your head if need be. Also, this position frees up your breasts for him to play with and you can touch yourself. Yayyyyyy!!!!!

Sarah said...

Fondles wrote a post that you might find helpful. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I'm a sub who gets to have sex with other men, with her Master's permission (high sex drive). I know that's not something you agree with and I wouldn't normally mention it except for this: other men rave about my BJs. I've made one man come three times in the past just from giving head, I never stopped sucking inbetween, just backed off a tad and he came to the fore. I was there for around an hour, just kneeling between his legs. When I finally cried off cos my jaw was getting sore (!) he fell back on the bed and looked at me with total amazement, said he'd not had a BJ (or been able to come like that) in 30 years (he was an older guy).

I'm not telling you this to boast, but to put the next bit into perspective.

Master doesn't like the way I give head. he doesn't even like traditional submissive positions, such as me kneeling between his legs, and he's sitting. It does nothing for him. All the control is with ME, not him. For him, he'd far rather I be bound in some way, so that he has the control, and so that I am open to him to use for his sadistic urges. The trouble is, he's a big boy and the kind of positions he wants, with the lack of control, make ME very nervous of trigging my gag reflex (which is pretty far back, but not far back enough to accommodate him!). We've not found a way through this impasse yet, but we're working on it.

I mention all this to echo what others have said: Find what works for W. Unless he specifically likes it that way I don't think there's any need for you to be kneeling. you could try lying on a bed, head hanging back off the bed (the advantage with this position is that it straightens the neck, making it much easier to deep throat). Maybe start doing BJs with the intention NOT to make him come, but to simply find out what he likes, and what you like. listen to his body - it will tell you when you do something you particularly like. Some men like you to ring the changes a lot. some men like you to do the same thing... a lot! then perhaps work on giving W a BJ when he's already pretty close to achieving orgasm, and then slowly extend that backwards, building up your stamina and endurance for this.

(part 1 of 2)

Anonymous said...

(part 2 of 2)

I think you also have to remember something else. Master often cannot orgasm, at least when I'm doing stuff to him in traditional positions (because its not fulfilling his control and sadistic needs). That doesn't mean he's not enjoying what I'm doing, cos he often IS, very much. its just not enough to bring him to, um. conclusion. And with W being an older man (no offence, W), he may take longer to come than some younger men, which won't help matters. Don't see his orgasm as the be all and end all of a BJ - instead, see it as a technique to give him pleasure, regardless of how he actually does come. That takes pressure off you both and allows you both to enjoy what you do.

Finally... remember you can't do this overnight. I know that sounds obvious, but, you know, I used to HATE giving head. I hated the taste of a man's come, I hated the texture of it. I hated the intense smell. I hated the intimacy of it, the thought that there might be pee on the end. it all just added up to.. ***SQUICK*** (excuse the caps, just for emphasis). That changed a few years ago - I'm sure you know that as you get older, your taste buds change slightly - and I got over the taste first, which removed a big barrier. I started to like the smell. I started to enjoy what I was doing, to enjoy the sense of power (with other guys, not Master!). I started to enjoy the sense of service (funny how the same act can have so many different attitudes and approaches!). and they all led to me enjoying giving head as much as I do. That process took around six months of dedicated work and the work to push my gag reflex back even further so that i can deep throat even the biggest men is an ongoing one.

oh, and on the subject of swallowing - if W does want that, and you hate the taste/texture, push him to the back of your mouth as he comes, that way it will bypass your tastebuds. If he doesn't, try letting him come on you, on your chest or face. One woman I know who is majorly into cock worship with different guys gets them all to come that way, she spreads it into her skin. and I have to say, her skin looks AMAZING. take that for what it's worth!

hope all that has helped... good luck - and let us know about your progress, please!


Sir said...

Hi E/everyone,

This is W and just to let E/everyone morningstar isn't doing things wrong but rather I have Diabetes and that I have a mind problem retaking Viagra again...

So, it isn't morningstar that is the problem but Me :-((


Anonymous said...

Hi! I know you and the Heron clan are close... What happened to their blog? I miss them! Thanks, jen

morningstar said...

@jen and anyone else wondering about the Heron Clan.

I have been in touch with swan - things are ok - and hopefully her blog will be back up and running soon.

I am sure she will fill everyone in then.............

Ordalie said...

Very glad to hear that! I miss her blog too.

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